New Years Resolutions?

"I'm going to get in shape" or "I'm going to eat right" to "yup, this year I'll be sexy!" How many people have said that at the new year, I will focus on a better body, make healthier food choices and so on? My question is, why wait if it is something that you're serious about?

Many people wait for a Monday, the weekend or the new year to do something good. If you know what you want, then go for it! Why wait to tell someone you love them? Why wait to work-out? Why wait to eat that salad and put down that cheese burger? Why wait to work on your bad language? Why wait to fix a broken relationship family/friend/or love? Why wait to love yourself?Waiting will only aid to the existing issue of procrastination.

I haven't made a new years resolution, heck, I haven't made one since I was in High School. For me, I discovered that waiting only leads to forgetting then leads to self hatred at some point and disappointment. Let's be honest, no one has time for that.Let's get real, new years resolutions can be stressful! So instead of focusing on having one, focus on all that you have accomplished in 2015.

For Me:

I moved from Alaska to Texas, put out another novel, got into the best shape of my life, grew closer to God, got baptized, went on a solo trip, dated outside my race for once, went on a date BY MYSELF, built up my self confidence, loved and lost, laughed and cried, learned to cook gourmet meals, started a new book series to read AND started a new one to write :) , learned to flirt, put all those years of Spanish and French class to use, and lastly, fell in love with what God created....ME.

I didn't go into this year with a new years resolution, no expectations of false reality instead I just did it, on the day I was thinking it and never stopped. Just try it, don't wait, go get what you want.

<3- Ebony

Mackenzi Heyman

MACKENZI HEYMAN is from College Station but now lives in Los Angeles. After meeting an amazing woman Nikki Petterson, Mackenzis' family took a huge leap of faith and moved to Los Angeles. She has a constant gig at Republic of Pie in LA, where I first saw her sing live! Not only was she bubbly, sarcastic, cleaver, stylish and sweet; BUT she also has a voice to match. For about 20 minutes I was drawn into her voice, and I couldn't look away or be bothered with conversation.

Heyman's new single CIGARETTES is out NOW! A great song in which its title is just the beginning of something amazing! I suggest you download it and get lost in the words and musical creativity that is Mackenzi Heyman.  I am  SO honored to have her in the studio to debut her new song, as well as singing some amazing covers! Take a listen to her interview on Candy 95 below! Also check out the links to her social media profiles. 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM
TWITTER
WEBSITE  

This is Why...

I like to think that God created my blood in the form of literature. With every book I read, every poem and novel I write my heart beats wildly. When I'm challenged in my school work to read mass amounts of material, material that is maybe 30 pages long per article; I get excited. The thought of coming across words that I would never say or use, the rush of learning something educational and not fictional, the idea that I will find a new word of the day to incorporate throughout my day.

Yeah, It's the little things...

People try to shop for me, they always ask "what do you want?" If you truly knew me, listened or paid attention you would know the answer. Something that has to do with reading or writing and I will be forever grateful. One year, someone bought me a gift card to B&N, that same year a guy bought me a really expensive necklace. The necklace was nice and I appreciated it, came in that beautiful teal box. However, for an intellect the fuel to feed my brain... that B&N gift card touched me in places, made my heart beat, made everything tingle in ways a necklace could not.

Why? Because to get to me, you have to understand the love I have for my gift from God. To get to me you have to understand the joy that comes from cracking open a book. The sensation that rushes through my fingers to my arms and to my heart, to only be released throughout my body as I turn the pages. That orgasmic climax of "the new", the educated, the words, the journeys of a different world created by wonderful artists who creates beautifully written masterpieces. I love books, I love reading, I love the feeling it brings.

 I pray that one day, my words, my novels and poems will touch someone the way it touches me... That's why.

<3 Ebony

#Nowplaying August Alsina album This Thing Called Life

LaShunda Mitchell with Grind 4 God Ministries!

LaShunda Mitchell with Grind 4 God Ministries came by the studio today! She is a fabulous woman and they are doing GREAT things in the community! Take a listen to how they are helping..EVERYONE! 

GRIND 4 GOD MINISTRIES 

Address:  307 S. Main St #108. Bryan, Texas 77803

Email: grind4god@gmail.com

Phone: 979.703.2975

 Twitter: @miniserbc

website: www.grind4godministries.org

Goodies From Today's Show

Alessia Cara- Know It All

I was excited when I first heard her voice on her hit song "Here", I had to figure out who this girl was. Then after stalking her vocal talents on YouTube, watching her do covers of other famous songs; I knew she was something awesome. Not just because of her look, her voice but because of her ability to make any song her own. It's easy to do a cover, use the same inflections, the same beat and melody, however, it's not easy to do a cover in an entirely new format, which is exactly what Cara does.

On her new album titled "Know-It-All" I gathered that Cara is speaking to what she knows best, being a true teenager. In her interview with The Breakfast Club, Cara touches on the meaning of the title, and referencing it to teenagers who think they know it all. After taking a listen to her album, I feel in love with her voice all over again. She is one to watch in the music industry, and I'm excited to see where her vocals and lyrics take her as she grows up.

My favorite songs on the album are : Here, a lyrical tale of that socially awkward teen who's not into the party scene and drama that surrounds the night. And Scars to Be Beautiful, a self loving anthem encouraging people to love who they are and the scars that come along with the journey.

WWF and PANDAS!!!

Paris

A city that I would love to live in. A city that has so much beauty and is known for love and being affectionate. That same city, suffered one of many horrendous terrorist attacks. CNN reports that 128 people have died, they also stated that ISIS claims responsibility for these attacks (Castillo & Karimin, 2015).

I know that I'm growing in  God when my heart hurts when others are in pain. Usually I would be like well that sucks, or, oh well it's not where I'm at. Lately I've been placing myself, or at least trying to, in the shoes of people who are going through tragedy. What would I have done in that situation? How would I react?  The logical thing says that my track days would kick in and I would be out of there, another part of me says I would rush the gunmen with other people, there are more of us then them, and then another part of me says I might just freeze up.

I cannot imagine what those people are feeling, what was going through their minds and so on. I stopped trying to figure out who does what and why. I don't want to understand why someone or a group of people can be so mean, harsh and pride themselves on terrorizing innocent people. All for what? I've come to the realization that it's not my place to understand, instead it is my place to pray... and stay in prayer for everyone involved.

More details at: http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/14/world/paris-attacks/index.html

Justin Bieber- Purpose

Billboard magazine calls the new album from Bieber titled "Purpose"  a "rebirth". As I read his touching heartfelt article of childhood struggle, to being raised by a single mother, to almost letting fame destroy him; I listened to his new album with an open heart.

Most sites and magazines gave Biebs between a 3 or 4 out of 5 stars. I however, gave him a 4 1/2 out of 5. I was also surprised that he released his album the same day as One Direction. It wasn't until I hit play, that I realized that the Biebs is hitting a whole new demographic other than the 'fan girl'. With that said, his vocals have changed and it will take some getting used to on the ears. Especially when he was this awesome hair flipping tween singing Baby with Ludacris.

My favorite songs on this album are "We Are" featuring Nas who is one of my FAVORITE rappers, and "Love Yourself" I found it to be a kick in the ass to shallow girls. So before you judge, read the article in Billboard Magazine and THEN listen to his album Purpose.  It might surprise you.

Awesome Listener Call :)

My Journey To Happiness: Apology

As I was laying in bed, I realized that I owed God a major apology. It wasn't the normal repentance that I typically run through. Instead, it was one that I had no clue about until after I left a therapy session. I had to apologize to God for hating who he created, for hating myself. Times are tough, and people go through these moments where they don't like what they see, or how they act, their talents or lack their of and most importantly their journey.

How can I love God, but HATE the thing he created? The person he took time to craft and mend with all her flaws and perfections? The person who was meant to walk in these shoes and the only one who could? I stared at myself in the mirror, and tried to see myself through his eyes. This is a prayer that I continuously pray, "Lord please let me see what you see, because I can't see much of anything." I was looking really hard, maybe for about 20 minutes, when a fresh air came over me. Like a breeze entered my house, when the doors and windows were closed. Like a weight had been lifted off of my chest.

I think, I hit a break through. I've been struggling the past couple of months, as I've been on my journey to happiness and finding out who I am. This hole had been placed in my heart. It wasn't love from a man, or attention, or boredom, instead it was something I can't name or find. Something was missing, I'm growing in my faith so it can't be that. So what is it? It was love... but instead... it was my love for myself. That was missing, and to be honest it's never been there.

So as I read my bible, listened to my music and sat in prayer. I had to ask God to forgive me, for not loving me. For not loving the person he has created me to be, for not loving someone he is molding me too be. I know I'm not the only one who has felt this, or who will feel it. But for those of you who are battling depression, self-hate/doubt, and insecurity, it's okay. You're not alone, and everyone handles things differently. Just know, that you're amazing and truly believe that. If you have a hard time believing that, go to a mirror, and write positive things about yourself. Recite it every day, every time you look in the mirror until you believe what you're saying. To help you out a little here is what I have on one mirror in my house :

I am: 

Beautiful 

Confident

Sexy 

Sassy

Smart

Talented

WORTHY 

I am NOT ashamed for my journey, and I am NOT ashamed for saying that I love myself. It's time to STOP thinking it's bad when someone thinks they're good looking, smart, talented etc. If they don't have the confidence in themselves, then no one else will.

Just read: POEM FOR A LADY WHOSE VOICE I LIKE by Nikki Giovanni 

-_-

Thanks.... I try.... but can I look good while writing? lol 

My Journey to Happiness: Baptism

Many things have been going on, as I'm on my journey to happiness. I've tried so hard in my life to make people like me. To find someone who loves me, to be accepted for exactly who I am. But, when placed in the wrong hands (i.e. of man) I was always let down and my insecurities grew. I'm tired, tired of allowing others to have a say in my life, so for the past two years I've been working hard to do exactly what I wanted. I took trips, I learned to shoot a gun, I moved out of my home state, I allowed people close to me, I allowed myself to be hurt and rebuild, I allowed myself to live and not care; BUT most importantly, I allowed myself to love me and be okay with who I am.

In November of 2014, I started this 365 Day Walk in Christ dedication. Each day it had a message, and each message came with prayer and a bible verse. These messages, have touched me, I try to remember my teachings and use them everyday. By doing so, I've become so obedient in Christ, the only question he had  left was "what are you going to do for me?" I've been battling this for quite some time now, but I knew in my heart, this is what I needed and he is where I needed to be. He has blessed me, gotten me out of situations only he could, and he has shown me undying love when I come to him. I am not the type to follow a crowd or do something because people think is right. I wanted to know God and Jesus, I wanted to understand who he was and what he does, I wanted a relationship, I wanted to know him deeply before I took the leap. I wanted to make sure I was willing to walk to walk, there is nothing that bothers me more, than someone who claims a religion but lives like the devil; I did NOT want to be that person, the world is full of them, I want to be different. I wanted to be ready. 

On November 4, 2015, I was baptized by my amazing Pastor Will Lewis. I thank the Lord for my church family, Monica and the McCoy Crew :), Nadine & Kevin, Denean & Darren, Nancy & her daughter (who was there in spirit), for supporting me last night, much like all nights. I'm glad to say when I have an attack from the devil, I text those amazing ladies and they pray for me RIGHT on the spot and I feel so powerful and uplifted! BY moving, God has giving me my own WAR TEAM IN CHRIST! They give me so much life, I'm beyond thankful. 

Even though, I've been on this journey of self discovery for quite some time now, I know it is FAR from over, and my BIGGEST leap of faith that took place last night was only the beginning. 

Now playing: I Give Myself Away by William McDowell

Radio Fun!

Steak and biscuits!

Alrighty! There's a lot going on here! I took a stab at making home made biscuits, and created my own steak marinade! 

Steak marinade: 

Soy sauce 1/3 cup 

Weschire 1/3 cup 

Garlic (I used the minced ones 1 tbsp)

Onions (I used the chopped onions 1/4 cup)

Dash Pepper and salt 

Then I allow steak to marinate for 6 hours 

Biscuits click the link (I also added raw honey to drizzle on top): http://scratchthiswithsandy.com/2014/02/11/20-minute-homemade-biscuits/

Not For Everyone

A group of older women asked if I had any children, when I said no they said "why not?" then another "what's wrong with you?" and another "how old are you?" then the last "you aint getting any younger!"

 My response was simple.

 "No, I am not getting any younger. Actually I'm getting older and wiser. With that said, why bring a child into this world when I am not wed? When I am not in a relationship? Why make a child suffer, because 'I'm not getting any younger?' NO Offense, this is not the time that you were raised in. I am not having a child just because everyone else is. Nor will I ever. Have you ever thought that I didn't want children? What if I had a condition to where I cannot have children? What if I just had a miscarriage? What if I'm a widow?"

the ladies moved in their seats, one even swallowed her spit very hard

"So ladies, in respect, instead of asking someone 'why?' answer all my questions and then think of this, why are you older women pressuring these younger women? Why do they HAVE to have a child to please you? You are not pushing them out, you are not caring for them, you are not waking up in the middle of the night, you do not know them. I'm aware everyone is titled to their opinions, which is why I'm expressing mine. Have a wonderful day."

 I'm sorry, but a child is a BIG deal. I know many women who are raising children and they are like superwoman. That wonderful life, as of right now and maybe never is not for me.All I have to say is this. who cares if a woman wants to sleep with however many people. Who cares if she has kids with so and so. Who cares if she never has kids! It's not up to you to judge someone and their life. If it doesn't effect you head on, then keep moving on. For those ladies who are doing whatever they want, be proud of it; and forget all the others telling you what you should do or how you should feel.

<3 Eb

NEW: Drake- Hotline Bling

Chicken Fried Rice

Alrighty! So I love Chinese food but I hate the mass amounts of sodium and other things that's in there thats not good for you. So here I created an awesome recipe for a little healthier version. 

2 cups brown rice 

1 chicken breast 

1 1/2 cup carrots

Can of peas 

2 tablespoons of less or no sodium soy sauce 

1/2 to 1 cup of onion 

1 egg 

1 tablespoon water 

Another table spoon of water (my choice) or 1 table spoon of butter

2 table spoons of extra virgin olive oil

I decided to bake the chicken,30-45 min on 400 

In a bowl you mix the water and egg and add to pan. If you decided to use butter, melt the butter on low before you add the egg and water mixture. Cook egg on low also, I like to make sure it's fluffy then I let it sit. 

In a big pan, I used the olive oil to soften the onion, then I added carrots and peas

When the chicken is done, you cut it up into tiny squares or how ever big you prefer. 

Then I add in the cooked rice and chicken to my carrots, peas and onions. Then pour in the soy sauce. 

Before you add in the egg, cut it up and then add it in. 

Season to taste, I used garlic powder, salt and pepper. Everything used is either organic or gluten free :) 

:) 

Names To Ghetto For Me

I typically don't watch The View. For some reason it's a really dry type of talk show for me; but I did check out one episode just to give it another shot. The episode I happened to watch, was when Raven Symone ranted about not hiring people with ghetto names. Check the video below:

I wonder why she would say that when she has walked out the house looking like THIS  ?

I also wonder, what someones name has to do with their ability to perform a job? Why should someones name cause them a chance to even be hired for a job? If you didn't know, people don't them selves it's up to their parents. Either way, saying you wont hire someone based off their name makes no sense.

It's like, not hiring someone because they are a different ethnicity, or to big or small for television, ALL things Raven Symone has mentioned that cost her gigs. She was very vocal about being on That's So Raven, and the producers telling her she needs to lose weight. If that moment was so heart breaking, just imagine what you are doing when you wont hire someone based off their name.Weight you can change and work towards losing, a name is harder.

I used to be a fan, but the pure ignorance that has escaped out of her mouth SINCE she's gotten this platform is disgusting. I'm also ashamed to even say I never missed an en episode of That's SO Raven. Does she not know that plenty of people with 'ghetto names' are the ones who supported her show? Does she not understand that those people with 'ghetto names' are the ones who are so proud to see someone like her on television?  Why am I asking these questions, obviously she knows. She just doesn't care. 

It took her awhile, but she did release a statement, part of which includes:

"My comments about discrimination have spun out of control" read the rest HERE

Despite her apology which I believe to have been written by her management staff, I elect not to be a fan of Raven any longer. My thoughts are similar to the video below... 

 

Chicken Pad Thai!

Love my kitchen and I love cooking random dishes! I found this amazing recipie for pad Thai! 

I love spice so I added in some Cajun seasoning and chicken :) link is below the picture for the recipe! 

http://thaifood.about.com/od/vegetarianthairecipes/r/Vegetarian-Pad-Thai-gluten-free-Vegan-Friendly.htm

Rich Thawtz- We Crazy

My Journey to Happiness; Guns!

My dad is a sharp shooter... literally! He was in the Air-force, special forces so he knows a thing or two about a thing or two! I'm more of a knife person though, I'm not much on loud noises I like to throw knives, I love the craftsmanship with a butterfly knife and pocket knives. One day I decided to go ahead and knock out a fear. It was raining, storming actually when I went to the shooting range. I loaded the clip and let go. I must say, for a first timer I'm a pretty good shot ;). Wonder where I got it from? :) 

This fear thing is no big deal when I think about it. Maybe one day I'll ride a roller-coaster? or sky diving?! Maybe even walk through a haunted house? But for now, baby steps..... 

What's Next? 

-xo Ebony 

My Journey to Happiness: Date Night!

DATE NIGHT!

No not with a man, but instead with myself. I love to go to movies alone because well, I hate someone talking to me or asking me "what happened?" because they went to the bathroom. So to get to know myself a little more, I got all dolled up, and took myself out on a date. Seems weird? But it felt so good to be still, silent, in my own presence, and in reality I knew that I wasn't alone, God was sitting right across from me. I read a book, ate my meal, watched families eat together and listened to them laugh. I prayed for them, their happiness to remain constant and that I one day might enjoy that also. God spoke with me the entire time I ate, and listening to his voice, with a room full of people, is the best thing I've ever experienced.

What's Next? Guns.
-xo Ebony

My Journey to Happiness: Big Mitch

In early February of 2014, I  got an email for a call back to be on the voice. I was so nervous and made sure to practice with my vocal coach Big Mitch as much as possible. But on February 18, 2014, I was tagged in a picture from a mutual good friend of Mitch and I. It said that our dear friend passed away. When he was called home, I stopped singing. I'll do it randomly but when I see that someone is listening or smiling at me, I either get off key to pretend like I was joking around or I just stop and wish I was invisible. If you couldn't tell, Mitch and I were working on my HORRIBLE stage fright! So what's next? Well I joined a writing team for a record label, and I submit my songs that I've written. I've never wanted to become a singer, however I know that my talent for writing and singing has to be used... right? Well it's time to get back into the sing of things.... I'm happy to say that I'm back at it, and I'm doing vocal training.




What's Next? Date Night!
-xo Ebony

My Journey to Happiness: LA

Being a broadcaster, of course I have dreams of making it in either New York or Los Angeles.

Since I was 10, I remember telling my dad that I'm going to live in Los Angeles. When I saw my first Emmy Awards, I told my sister Tasha that I will host a red carpet one day.

 In 2014, I was able to go to the city that has always called my name. I went by myself, and I also managed to go during the same time as an awesome radio conference. So of course, I did some work in the middle of my play time!

I met  new friends, and got to meet some great celebs, who knew that Eden XO and I would have bonded over red nail polish? And who knew that my epic Karaoke battle between my friend Steve and I at the Dirty Bull would get everyone HYPED! Talk about fun! Oh and I stayed at this random Japanese hotel... why? Because I wanted to :)

For more pictures from my LA trip, the celebs I saw and to see some awesome performances CLICK HERE 

What's Next? Making Big Mitch Proud

-xo Ebony 

         

My Journey to Happiness: Mixing it Up!

So yes I did it. I stepped outside my comfort zone from my fine chocolate brothers and tried something new. He was Mexican but I thought he was a tanned Caucasian fellow.  He held my attention for AWHILE! I was surprised that I had something in common with someone like him, since he is from A DIFFERENT CUT OF LIFE, I gave him a shot because well, he was very conversational and seemed interesting.

It lasted a good couple months until he turned into a douche bag, actually one of the worse guys I've ever entertained in my life! So that was short lived, but hey at least I can say I was open minded at some point in my life. Check that off the bucket list!


Whats next? A trip to where my heart lies!
-xo Ebony

My Journey to Happiness: Hello Kitchen!

Since I love being healthy. I'm glad I got out my own ass and got back into shape. A lot of it was due to cardio and weights, BUT my body wouldn't be the way it is without food! I LOVE TO EAT! Sugar is my weakness, and I love a good steak!

So another step in my journey to happiness, has to be my new found love of the kitchen. I like to figure out my own recipes. I love winging it in the kitchen and trying something new. Other times I love doing basic stuff, cook book things, television suggestions and what ever my sister Tasha discovered that I might like.

It to safe to say that the kitchen turned into my boyfriend, we have many romantic nights together.


Whats next? Dating? But mixing it up..
-xo Ebony

My Journey to Happiness: Goodbye Hair

Why is it so damn hot in Texas? It really does feel like Satan's armpit down here! Not to mention the humidity! Alaska gets hot but we don't have to suffer the death mist and musk or humidity. Because of that, the heat, sweating when I'm sitting down, sweating when I lift my arm, sweating when I get out the shower. The amount of times I was washing my hair because it was laying on my neck was ridiculous! I think my sweat was sweating.

So I decided to do something, that plenty of people told me not to. I chopped off my hair, I was told NOT to do it by many, employers, friends, men and the list goes on. There's some type of shrine for long hair. Like that is the vision of beauty. The European look is what many people find attractive and anything less is simply unacceptable. But I got tired of living up to someone elses' vision of what's beautiful...why?because it makes me happy. Also because I was going through another mental break down and for some reason, women love to do something drastic when shit hits the fan. I'm currently in the stages of growing out my awesome haircut. It was a lot of fun, but winter is coming and my ears are cold! It's a good feeling to know that I can do whatever I want, and don't care if others don't like it.

Whats next? The Kitchen!

-Xo Ebony

My Journey to Happiness: Celebrate Recovery

I didn't realize how miserable things were for me until I heard the phrase "you can choose to be happy." I never understood that because who would choose to be miserable?  I took a  good look in the mirror and realized that I was choosing not to be happy. 

It all started with thoughts in the morning on how this and that is wrong, or I'm failing at this, or I'm mad at this person; instead of waking up thankful for another day. I was deciding to go back to a place of pain because it was familiar. 

They say, the mind is a powerful thing and God even says be careful what you think and speak.Remember being told to "watch what you say?"now I totally understand that meaning. 

I was waking up in the morning heavily depressed not knowing that I was unintentionally setting myself up for failure and choosing being sad over being happy. 

I realized that life is short, people piss you off  and things wont always go your way, however; at the end of the day, it's just you and God. God wants us to be happy and to love but I couldn't love anybody because I was improperly loved by people who should've loved me. Which in turn caused me to look for love in all the wrong places. 

So with the talk to God and a slap in the face of reality I decided to join an amazing group called Celebrate Recovery. It's a Christlike centered therapy group .A safe place that allows you to surrender all your hurts, hang ups and habits. A couple weeks ago, I got my 60 day chip. :)

What's next? This hair has GOT TO GO!

-xo Ebony  

My Journey to Happiness: My Body

I started this journey with a move, and now I have to change me.

I looked int he mirror at pounds of fat that had piled up from bad choices and bad men. I looked at years of abuse, mental, physical, emotional and of alcohol. I looked in the mirror at my 5'7" frame, weighing in at 197lbs. I held my weight well....

I sat in my empty apartment, I only had a blow up mattress, a few frozen meals in the fridge and $20 in my pocket. I cried, I was thankful to finally sleep in peace, not be scared for what might come in the door or who might show up at my house. I was also crying because I lost myself, not just in my weight but in my heart.

Step one, I went to the bootleg gym at my apartment complex and decided to run. I ran for almost an hour. I burned thousands of calories, I was sweating, crying, yelling at times; people walked by staring like "who is this psycho?" I forgot how many miles I ran within that hour, I just know, that I was hurt and that was my release. Operation old Ebony (body wise) in effect NOW!

In four months, I dropped over 40lbs. I think I dropped the weight so fast because I was always active, healthy and an athlete. So when I fell off the bandwagon, getting back on it wasn't difficult for me at all. I ran my first 5k for a sorority house in town.I began group bootcamps bright and early with FITU and Trainer Ashlye, and I started lifting weights at Golds Gym. Now I can step outside and into the humidity without the fear of dying, because I made it my bitch, I ran in that shit.

Whats next? figuring out who God is....

-xo Ebony 

My Journey to Happiness: The Move

Deciding to move is a HUGE deal. I've moved before, went to Seattle for a few months before starting my career and moving back to Anchorage, Alaska. It wasn't until September of 2014, when I had enough. Enough of the drama, the stress, the bad people, lack of support, loneliness and did I mention Drama? My mind was brewing and my heart was at work on getting out of Alaska but in the proper way... getting a job! So I searched, endlessly, rejections came nonstop UNTIL I received an offer letter from Candy 95 in College Station Texas. A month later, I was on my way out of the last frontier and headed to Texas, cowboy boots anyone?

I stepped off the plane, and was hit in the face with humidity. I felt like I was going to die as I was searching for my inhaler. But instead, I heard God ask, are you ready? I smiled, grabbed my luggage from baggage claim, and told God "I sure am"I finally took a chance on me, what will I encounter on this journey to self discovery and happiness? I have NO IDEA! BUT I'm more than willing to find out.


Whats next? My Body
-xo Ebony

Exes and Questions.. Would You Do This?

Well.. They were together for seven years.. After being split for two years, they decide to face each other again and get answers to the questions that's been brewing in their minds! Ugh would you do this? I cried a little.. don't judge me.

SPEAK Dr. Umar!!!!

Friendship?

I've come to terms with realizing that most of my "friendships" are just one sided therapy session for that other person, not for me. I'm the unpaid therapist who is more than willing to listen to the drunken state that you are in. The amount of times my phone rings to hear someone cry or complain, to read a text and let someone vent is countless. BUT the amount of times my phone rings just for people to check up on me is almost nonexistent.

I would also like to mention the amount of times my phone goes off, calls, texts, emails etc from people I know, that  want ME to help them out. Whether it is doing a commercial, writing a song, modeling with them, modeling their product, sharing their music and music pages AND how can I forget BUYING their music and or products. BUT the amount of people who hit me up to do those things don't even support my things.

It's confusing, but at the same time, no matter how much people change, how holy someone seems to be, how focused one believes they are; the selfishness that lies within people is something that will never go away. I wonder, if I had an outlet like myself, would I do the same? Would I treat someone who genuinely cares for me with the same lack of respect and puppetry as those do me? Would I? Watch how you treat those around you. I don't burn bridges and I haven't lost a friend I was meant to keep.

<3 Eb

#nowplaying A Tribe Called Quest- Lyrics to Go

Bad Attitudes, Pink Power Rangers, Taco Emojis!

Yeah.. It's a little random in radio! But I love it! Karina and Alicia with Maverick 100.9 came in! ALSO Chelsea makes a return to Candy!!!

ROACH ATTACK!

Poem: Weak?

Poem: Butterfly

Butterfly 
by: Ebony Williams 

Copyrights 2015 All Rights Reserved  

Random..

I'm a story teller of sorts... one who not only is forced to live in a world of reality but one who would love to hide in a world of fiction. I suppose, that is why, I love writing fiction novels. The ability to create a world that is not your own, but yet, at the same time making it your own. I love that what I write, I can literally make the grass greener on the other side. In reality that grass on the other side is wet, gross, and most of the time not present. It's all in the mind... at least that's what I've been told plenty of times. If you dream it, you can achieve it! But they fail to mention the many times you will have to fail, be tested on faith, cry, get cut, have scars and so on to make that dream come true. No it is NOT all roses. No the grass is NOT greener on the other side, and for heavens sake NO my path will not work for you. If we all were meant to walk in each others shoes then why aren't all our lives the same?  Just a random thought.... no judgement, peep the header of my blog... Random Thoughts of Ebony Williams ;) Happy Tuesday

-Ebony

Kendrick and N.W.A

POEM: The Letter

The Letter 

-Ebony Williams

I sit and watch this man in the mirror.

His presence is just, his gear on tight, his hat never tilted to the side

The creases in his pant legs, were straight, never wrinkled

His hands were rough, but delicate enough to pick me up

His smell was strong, but not strong enough when he was gone

“Now honey, I’ll be back soon!”

I watched as my father talked to my mother

She held up her left hand and sigh at the loneliness of her fingers

He smile “don’t worry” as he kissed her cheek and left

I walked to my room, and held his picture close

Praying to God that my daddy was safe and will come home

Years passed, no word from him

My mother was strong but she was sad

I was lost and confused, questioning God asking “where is this man? “

The man that I loved, that I watched in the mirror, the man that I wanted to walk through the door. I haven’t seen since 2004.

But mama always said he would find his was back home

He would brave the weather and fight many storms

To tuck me in at night, and sing that song I like

I waited on the window seal, for him to come home

I was playing with my dog when I noticed something odd.

A few men were walking towards the driveway

One had his head down, the other sat in the driver’s side

I watched as another wiped his weeping eye

I then felt that mans pain, and yelled for my mom

My heart was beating so fast it almost popped out of my chest

She held me tight, and looked up, to see several men in a military truck

She looked and me, fixed her shirt, she walked to the door and prayed

A prayer to the heavens that he was okay, that this walk up the drive way

Was nothing more than an update

She opened the door, and saw two men

“Ma’am, are you Renee?”

My mother, a woman so strong, allowed a tear to trickle down her cheek

“Yes” she said as she held her head high

“This is for you”

A man extended his hand and gave my mother an envelope. She read the note and ran to the backyard

She opened the door, and my father was there, with all his soldiers and on bended knee as my mom slowly ran towards him  he said

“Will you marry me?”

 -Ebony Williams

Copyrights 2015 All Rights Reserved  

PRINCE!!!! New Music - Stare

Oh how I love me some him! Check out Princes' new song Stare. 

Why Haven't You Said Anything Yet?

People have asked me, why haven't I written about the Sandra Bland case. I have my reasons for taking my time before I bring it to light. I could state facts, I could write an obnoxious, angry vulgar opinionated piece, but instead I'll write from the heart. 

The Sandra Bland case is one I have no words for. 

I am Sandra Bland.... I am a young African American woman. I am a believer in human rights. I am a voice for black lives matter. Some say all lives  matter, this is true. I however, can't focus on all lives when black lives are continuously being hunted like we're in the older days. I can't focus on all lives when people care more for a damn lion over people. 

I am Sandra Bland. Someone who isn't surprised by PEOPLE brutality. I am someone who knows good and well that slavery is still present. I am NOT someone who thinks racism is a thing of the past.I am NOT the oblivious person who THINKS slavery ended when the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, I am NOT someone who joyously celebrates July 4th because my ancestors Independence Day didn't come until two and a half  years later in June, hence Juneteenth. 

I am Sandra Bland. A young African American woman. 

I am Sandra Bland. A person who drives through or passes Prairie View, Texas to get to my destinations. 

I am Sandra Bland, someone who at times forgets to use her turn signal.

I am Sandra Bland, someone who believes in what's right and taking a stand. 

I am Sandra Bland a person with many words 

But yet as a writer, a voice and a human being. I for once have no words.
This case cuts deeper than any other case I've read, seen and researched because
I AM SANDRA BLAND. 

SPEAK IT JILL!

A Little of Today's Show ;)

MESSAGE: Stop saying Why Me? & Start Saying Use Me!

I'm tired.

Tired of hearing those around me doubt themselves and allow themselves to dwell in a puddle of woe is me, sorrow, sadness whatever word you want to use. I'm tired of hearing the self doubt, the put downs and the insecurities. I'm tired of hearing:

"It's in gods hands" 

"I trust God he's got me" 

"I'm okay"

When in reality, a minute, maybe hour or day or week will pass and they're back to doubting. Where did the self empowerment go? Where is the pride? The belief? The strength?  Some people love the pain because that's all their used too. I know some don't want to get out of that pit of sadness because if they choose to be happy, the chances of them being sad will come again. And who wants that? 

When I hear those around me doubt themselves, it starts to suck some life out of me. My happiness fades and  I start to doubt myself. I wonder if I'm okay because my closest people aren't okay nor are they happy. It's a reflection, now I'm wondering if I'm happy or am I just faking.I understand  why people say be mindful of your circle, because negativity is a poison that can kill you. When I catch myself doubting, whether I'm sending a text vent or making a phone call, I stop myself and pray. 

So stop doubting, stop stressing, and stop being a liar to yourself. If you're religious, when you doubt it means you DOUBT GOD. if you're not religious, when you doubt you DOUBT YOURSELF. DOUBT=FAILURE , but here's the thing about failure; YOU have the ability to overcome it. All it takes is time. Will you spare it? 

STOP saying "WHY ME?!" And start saying "USE ME!" You got this, just try, and keep trying and honestly believe that you can and will be okay. 

<e Eb 

MESSAGE: Own It

As I people watch, I wonder how many people can honestly trust the one next to them. The one they're in a relationship with, the one they're extremely intimate with. Everything seems great, the roses never smelled better and the grass has never been so green when you're with someone you truly care about. I wonder, how much that person honestly cares about you.

What would you do, if you were so intimate with someone, you love them, they make you feel so good and they tell you that you do the exact same thing for them, to only months later break up.. and you find out just how much he  or she truly cared.. You go to the doctor and find out you have something so serious, that you can't get rid of; only to remember your last partner was someone you loved. How hurt are you now? What is going through your mind? How fast is your heart beating and your blood boiling? There is then, a small molecule of hope that your ex cares. So you text them about the situation you found out about, to not only be ignore and then blocked on social sites. How do you feel now? How cowardly is that of a man or woman to do? If you've never felt alone, I bet you know that meaning now.

Sounds messed up right? Just think about it, this happens all the time, it has happened and it will always happen. As I people watch, scroll through my social sites, and think of all those around me. I truly wonder, who is not a coward, who is honest, faithful, truthful and pure. After scrolling through thousands of people I'm still counting those people on one hand.

So I ask you, can you really trust the one you're with?

#nowplaying Selena Gomez f/ A$AP- Good For You

Studio Fun with Katye Hamlin!

Katye Hamlin stopped by to promote her new cd! She played some amazing songs AND was lots of fun! Justin and Rusty decided to come by, soo what do I do? I put them on air !

Katye Hamlin social media links: 

Website

Facebook

Instagram 

Twitter

XXL Cypher Includes: Tink, Fetty Wapp and Raury, KCamp & Kidd Kidd

Yes... Please.. and Thank You 

3 Reasons Why You NEED GOD MONEY WAR

First off, can I just say that this album gave me so much life! From the word play, to the collabs, to the genius behind each song that was artistically crafted into masterpieces from number 1-14, it left me wanting more! So here are my personal reasons for why you need this album in your playlist. 

1. Like Los said in his interview with The Breakfast Club, he is speaking to the streets. Most artists glorify the streets and make it seem like its great! Los on the other hand, is speaking positive, wanting people to think, realize and make GOOD moves. 

2. This work of art reminds us why we love music.

3. Some times we come across those people who can spit rhymes all day and yell "bars" but none of them have lived what they speak or know anything about it. Los is real, pure, honest and a lyrical genius. 

Favorite Songs:
1. Confidence feat Chrishan The Prince
2. Black Blood feat. Isaiah Rashad & Kent Jamz
3. War feat. Marsha Ambrosius
4. Ghetto Boy

Same Love

Earlier this morning the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 to lift the ban on same sex marriage nationwide. As I sit and smile while I read articles, I then shake my head at the comments left under the post. This is always a topic of discussion at someones table everyday. I also get asked, personally, how I feel about the "issue" (side note, I hate when people call love an issue).

Here's how I feel about people who are homosexuals.

I don't care.

Seems harsh, but here's my reasoning for using those words. I don't care if you're gay, bisexual, transsexual, white, black, yellow, purple or red! All I care about is how your heart is. What you do in your personal life is none of my business. A friend told me that she hates on same sex love because as a straight person, she can't find that type of love or commitment. A handful of people that I know hate it because of religious reasons. If being with the same sex makes you happy, a better person, allows you to love on others and share greatness then okay, be you. That is not my lifestyle, it's not one I will frown upon on either. It's not one I will judge, because honey, I can't judge shit, especially from the things I've done in my past.

Here is what people read in the bible :

Leviticus 18:22: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is, an abomination.

Okay great.. I understand, here is what I read, which is the reason for me not judging but instead choosing to LOVE:

John 13:34-35- A new command I give you: Love one another. AS I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

If you think same sex love is wrong then that's fine, but what's not fine is being nasty, mean, judegmental and a dick basically because of someone elses life. I'm sorry, I didn't know that Mary and Sara's love for one another is so hurtful to your personal life. Does their love stop you from going to work? Eating? Laughing? Loving? Thought so....

People also make me laugh when they get pissed about this, but have the audacity to preach equality for everyone. So here is what I see and hear

It's okay for a woman to buck up, be in a mans face, and even assault him, YET if a man were to do the same, its wrong...Because as a man you have to take it...

It's okay for a man to get a higher position over a woman because.. they're considered to be "better equipped" to handle business decisions.... YET most fortune 500 companies are ran by women... i.e. Yahoo inc...General Motors...Campbell Soup just to name a few.

Having love is what will bring people together, LOVE IS THE ANSWER! EXCEPT if it's love between the same sex, because that's "wrong" and "gross"

I'm a lover of people and of happiness. I'm not up for judging because I don't want to be judged. Who am I to tell you that how you love is wrong, when I haven't even come close to correcting my wrongs? Unfriend me, unlike my social pages if you must because I wont stand by some and scold others, I'll understand.

 So if you're gay, then congratulations on now being able to marry whenever and wherever you please.

<3 Eb

Liptak, A. (2015). New York Times: Same Sex Marriage is a Right Supreme Court Rules, 5-4. Retrieved from: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/27/us/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage.html?_r=0

Berry Explosion!

I know bootcamp tomorrow morning with FIT U is going to kill me! Today's workout consisted of light legs and abs. Don't forget to add some weights in there! That's how I shredded fat so quickly!

Leg press 3 sets of 15 

Leg extensions 3 sets of 10 

Jumping squats 4 sets of 15 

Walking dumbbell lunges 2 sets of 20 

30lb barbell flute bridges 1 set of 20 

Bench step ups with 30lb 3 sets of 10 per leg 

Crunches 3 sets of 20 

Bicycle crunches 3 sets 15 

Flutter kicks will holding 30lb barbell over chest ( imagine bench press position) 3 sets of 20 

Side bends 15lb weights 3 sets of 15

Sauna 15 minutes :) 

Here's another after workout or even snack smoothie! It's simple, add what you see fit! Forgot to add protein powder and fiber in the picture, but it's in there. 

Dear Gorgeous Man at The Bar

Dear Gorgeous Man at The Bar,

First off, I want to say thank you for "admiring my beauty from across the room" and slowly making your way towards me. Thank you for buying my drink while trying to keep me engaged in a conversation. You were a gentleman at first, but when I refused to accept a drink that you walked up with, or allow you to kiss me and grab my ass, things shifted quickly. I have no idea who or what you thought I was. I sure wasn't the half-naked woman across the club, I also wasn't the one downing shots in the corner and throwing up, and I sure as hell wasn't the one twerking on the wall. Nonetheless, it proves that the lack of respect that was circulating the club seemed to make you think that I, for some reason, the woman fully clothed, fresh faced with minimal makeup, manners, a great vocabulary, would allow a nasty but yet handsome guy like yourself to do things only a man deserving should enjoy. I'm sorry that you thought your looks and one lines were enough to get me to go home with you. It's also sad to see that that shit actually works on some women. I don't blame you for being a pig, with low self-esteem, one who has to try and swoon women with one liners and a weak closer, for having the audacity to try and close on me. It's flattering.... Well no it wasn't... it was stupid. Good try though handsome, maybe next time.. with someone else.

P.S.

Mr. Handsome, I also don't accept drinks from strange men. Especially one that I watched work the room and slip something in the drink at the bar before it was brought over to me. Did you really think I dropped that drink on accident? I also notified security of your actions, which is why you were escorted out and arrested. It's a shame, some people don't people watch, don't watch their own drinks, and the amount of women that accept a drink from a stranger, without question, is amazing.  My dad taught me well sir, I will always walk with you to the bar, even if you're a man or woman that I know. I also am very aware of my surroundings. I just wish that the girl in the corner of the bar was that aware. The one who was taken out by ambulance and an EMT had to stick his finger down her throat to keep her breathing. I don't know if that was you handsome, but whoever it was, is just as cowardly as you were.

By the way....

Your track record of assaults, attempted rape, rape and so on was disturbing but not surprising. How our system failed to lock you away prior is a question that needs to be answered. Oh, by the way the sentence that you received was well overdue, you're too handsome to be in prison, but you deserve it.

<3 Eb

New Music Monday

Yes.. Please.. and Thank you

Boast of Green

Okay, I promise that green is NOT my favorite color :) however this green drink is surprisingly tasty! For those who don't know, I've been on a health kick for the past 10 months. After my move from Alaska to Texas, it was time for me to focus on myself. In doing so, all the weight that I carried and allowed myself to put on from BAD relationships was one thing I didn't want coming with me on my new journey. As a dedication to myself, I decided it's time to GET BACK into shape and be the best me I can :). See blog :  BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER for more about my personal weight story. 

More about my green mess of a delicious drink:

2 1/2 cups of spinach and kale 

1tbsp of chia seeds 

1 cup of frozen berries, I used mango, pineapple and strawberries 

a dab of peanut butter  and fiber powder

1/2 cup of almond milk 

I drink this as a snack after a workout (not everyday), of course you can change out your fruit, ditch the greens if you want, add more fruit, lose the peanut butter, but adding protein would be ideal. This gave me energy and helped clear me out, I encourage you to give it a try and make it your own :) then hit the contact box with your thoughts.

Today on the Airwaves KNDE-FM Candy 95.1

Chelsea & Ebony: Guy Turn Offs

Top 10 WEIRD Baby Names from 2014

According to nameberry.com , these are the TOP 10 strangest baby names of 2014.. These poor babies:

10. Jerzei
9.Lay
8. Dagger
7.Ruckus
6. Princecharles (all one word)
5. Billion
4. Londynne
3. Sadman
2. Wimberly
1. Swastik


YEah... there are real babies out there with these names.... sigh.

Chelsea & Ebony : Single Pressures

Okay okay, we understand your pain single ladies and fellas! We understand the annoyance from the questions of "What are you waiting for?"  TRUST US! We know that time is ticking... so just meh... Here is a rough draft of Chelsea & Ebony's YouTube series, professional videos to come:

8 Myths About Men?

They say women are complex creatures; but according to a recent article in Cosmo magazine, men might be just as complex! Check out some supposed myths and truths about men:

MYTH:

1. They want to make the first move (hmmmmmmm really?)
2. Big feet means big junk (not shit)

TRUTH

1. They really don't tell their friends everything (I knew that)
2. They're visual (no duh)

Check out some more myths and truths ( and some have to do with sex!) here : COSMO

Machine Gun Kelly- A Little More

If You're In Need of a Laugh ;)

What You See

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I keep telling myself this as I stare in the mirror at my half naked body. I've lost a ton of weight, and I've also gained muscle in places that make me giddy. At the same time I don't see what others comment. I still see what I used to look like, the weight that carried pain from various relationships. That weight that carried me through all the hardships, and that piled on because well.... I'm an emotional eater. The thing is, that weight is no longer there. Instead the 20+ pounds have diminished into the abyss, and YET I'm still left with the scars of why I packed on the pounds in the first place.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, a lot of us can't see our own beauty because the beholders we trusted abused that power; and that's left us emotionally wounded to a point that seems impossible to escape from. Being talked down to, abused and treated as if I'm the scum of the earth has indeed blurred my own vision. It's a daily battle where I find myself pulling a Kylie Jenner, taking a shit ton of selfies to find one satisfying. When my Mister looks at them, he thinks they're all gorgeous, and I think the one I took 23 swipes before that was the perfect one. Not to mention that advertisement on Cosmo magazine telling me how to look "hotter". Thanks Cosmo, instead I'll grab the giant snicker bar right next to you and dismiss the perfectly sculpted abs of whatever sex kitten you have on the cover.

It took a long time for me to be satisfied personally with myself, when that happened another chapter opened for me. As mister holds me and tells me "I treat him so good" I think, I'm just mirroring how you treat me and it comes naturally. When he stares at me, tells me things he has no idea that slowly but surely he's making me feel unstoppable, beautiful and wanted. It's a long road, I still stutter to go to pool parties and bring a swim suit, I still bring a jacket to cover my mid section, and I still wear sleeves in this damn Texas heat!

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if you're like me and you love others with all that you have, you make the mistake of allowing their vision to become yours. It's not intentional instead it just happens. Well my loves, my advice is to become your own beholder. Train your eyes to see what you want, to love what you have and to adore that smile that looks back at you in the mirror.


#nowplaying Yellowcard- Only One