Just Let It Out... and Listen Too.

When we get hurt whether it be with friendships, love, family and so on; some of us and I'm guilty of this tend to put up this barrier to block people out. Some think that this is acceptable and will heal them. A great person in my life told me that closure is the best thing possible. It's not always for you, check this out. Say you are the one who hurt somebody. You two used to be close and for some reason you did something so screwed up it messes with that other person daily.

I was recently put in a situation where someone wanted to talk to me. I didn't have anything to say and didn't want to hear the bs storm that was about to come my way. BUT my friend told me "Just listen, let them get the closure and move on." When I asked why, he said: "Have you ever been hurt to the point to where you want to kill someone? Like your emotional being is thrown off by this one person, and if you could just release everything you'd be able to let it go?" So I sat there and stared at him for 5 minutes thinking about what he said. In my heart and mind I was placed in this situation before and just wanted to rip that other person a new one, but since I was unable too, it took a lot longer to move on.

Sometimes we as people need to vent and release, and guess what? There's nothing wrong with that.

So I reluctantly picked up the phone and allowed this person to speak, hey God said if you have an ear then lend it right? I felt better just listening and so did that other person who came to the conclusion that I wasn't the one he was mad at, what he said brought out so may skeletons that I had nothing to do with.

Sometimes people just need to talk.

Thanks to my friend, I've come to the realization that everyone is a little fucked up in life. Everyone has issues, everyone will mess up and everyone at some point in time will hurt someone. When I grasped that, my whole world changed and
I thank my great friend for that wake up call.



Moral of the story?? Well let people talk, even if you don't want to listen, it may end up doing you some good in the long run.

Lord knows it helped me, and now I'm at the happiest point I've ever been in, in my life.

Holiday Season! Where's the Cheer?

THANKSGIVING is right around the corner!! Yet stores are already putting up Christmas stuff and dismissing Thanksgiving all in one. People are getting their knee pads ready for black Friday sales, and already know when they are going to wake up and where they are going to hit. Instead of focusing on getting meals prepared and thanking God for what they are thankful for.

Soon after the feast is over, we take a quick power nap and then think about Christmas! A majority of people think about the presents, and how much money they have to spend. While others like me cherish this time and the people who they kept close. Kids are excited for Santa, mom is preparing the snacks she will leave out, dad is working twice as hard to make sure the kids get a great Christmas yet again. All for the superficial, give me this and that nature. Forgetting that Christmas is about Christ and not us, forgetting that Christmas is the  time to spend with family and not just to enjoy the material things.


Then the year is over.  We all sit and think back on the good times this past year had brought us, and slowly laugh at the pain that traveled our way. Before we know it, we are finding someone to kiss at midnight. Then our year starts all over again in 2013. In the beginning we have hope and make goals aka resolutions that we all tend to forget and dismiss around February.

Why? To start the whole tradition all over again. 

Where did the true meaning of the holiday season go? The family time spent, listening to music, talking, watching parades on television and breathing in the brisk air while genuinely feeling happy?  As years went by it's been replaced by buying off our loved ones instead of telling them you love them. Now we want instead of enjoy the basic necessities. We've been commercialized.


This year (even though it was never far from me) I plan on restoring those values. This holiday season is a blessing and has brought so much since last season. I have nothing but gratefulness in my heart, prayers that will continue to be said, and  a big smile to be worn.

People Are Watching...Step it up!

I was out at lunch today, just walking through Carrs looking for a great salad. I hear someone talking this mother and daughter and I see the little girl look my way. The mother was smiling and trying to push her daughter towards me. Her daughter bright smile and wide eyed was nervous a little shaky but then made her way in my direction.

"Excuse me." I turned around and smiled at her, looked up briefly at her mom who was waving and grinning ear to ear at me.
"Hey there, what's going on?" I asked, she looked back at her mom and quickly turned around.
"You're Ebony Williams right? The one from TV?"
I nodded my head and said "yes"
"Well, My name is Amya I'm 11 and I just wanted to say that I love you and you have inspired me to become a weather girl too!"
I looked at her and smiled, didn't know what to say because she was 11 and I did that about 2 years ago; so I was a little shocked and flattered. Her mother than came to me and said:
"She's been following your footsteps, loved you on TV, then to that one radio station and now ...." "KFAT" (the little girl busted out) "Yes KFAT, and she also begged me to buy your book."
I sat there just in amazement at this woman and her darling daughter. Lost in words for once I was taken by surprise and smacked in the face with humility.
"MOM! I have it in the car can I please go get it so she can sign it!?" She was so anxious and full of life, I love to see children that way.
"Of course!" Then her mother looked at me and whispered "do you mind?"
"Of course not, I'll wait."

Sitting there talking with her mother and waiting for the little girl to come back I learned so much about these two and myself. Some people might say "DUH" to this but I realized that I have power and influence on these young girls, kids period, people my age and hell some older. I know that I need to step up to the plate and either tag team with someone or start something that helps shape our young, brilliant minded children; especially our young ladies.

Running into this little girl and her mother was not only great for them but also for me. This let me know that HEY people are watching, some are actually in your corner and want you to do well and achieve all that you aspire to achieve. You just have to stick with your heart and do it.

That is my next step up here in Alaska. I'm  at a level to where I can give back with enough of me, with all that I have learned and are continuing to learn. There's enough knowledge in my noggin to share and help those wide eyed little ones.

Time to step it up.
They are watching....
Are you ready?

What Makes You B E A utiful.

Hollywood tells us we need to be a size 0 in order to be beautiful. In magazines, on TV, in movies, it's everywhere. Thin is supposedly in and anything else other than that is down right obscure, fat and gross.

Human Barbie 

 From the 30's to now it went from thick to extremely thin as gorgeous! Why? Women now are going through such extreme measures to become that eye candy beauty that is only thought of and photoshopped. Take Valeria Lukyanova, a Russian model who went to the extremes to look like Barbie.  And NO this is not a maniquen, or a really great drawing. This is what she looks like. Why? She says it's beautiful. Not only must she be starving and the amounts of surgery it takes to look like this is ridiculous! But then again, this is what's broadcast as beautiful. It's slowly brain washing people to think so.

What Makes you Beautiful is not just the outside (for all my superficial people) but it's also what's on the inside. In Hollywood sure it helps to be skinny and starving so that you'll avoid the looks and comments from critics. They make is seem like being thin is in and is the best  life choice. I must say to workout as much as someone would have to, eat a certain way and get plenty of fluids and rest it takes to be thin is exhausting and pretty much a second job.Celebrities now are getting into shape but most of them are forgoing the harsh diets and embracing their curves, bellys, thighs etc. More and more we're seeing our once super thin celebs like Christina Aguilera and Demi Lavato Britney Spears embracing the pounds they naturally put on and shaping themselves in a great way.

Personally I think being full figured is more beautiful than being a stick and seeing ribs. Not only is it not healthy but I know more full figured women who love themselves and are happier than my friends who diet all the time and workout 7 days a week.

Stop being so superficial and sensitive. Say fuck you to what the media portrays as beautiful and say hello to what feels right and makes you smile. Don't be afraid to eat that cookie or have a slice of cake, go a day without counting calories or working out. Take a break you deserve it and honestly it's over due. Now don't confuse my words for being HEALTHY with being OBESE. It's a shame that most of america sees over a size 6 as obese even if that person is in good shape.



What Makes You Beautiful, is exactly that YOU. Take it in and except yourself then go about your days.

Weekend Getaways

Happy Friday!!!!! 

As we all know, I try to make my Friday posts a little more light on the eyes. Today is a happy day (not just because it's Friday) but because I woke up with a whole new attitude. Lets just say all God's blessings are being shown to me and I'm grateful.

This weekend is a chance for me to relax, enjoy and think on many things. My little weekend getaway will be just that, out of town and surrounded by fun, my love and no communication aka phone is put away. Want to relax a little? DO something for you this weekend. Go to a movie, get a massage, eat with friends or family and turn off your phone. Be disconnected with the world for a couple hours if not the entire weekend. Get back to you and re-up on energy, you deserve it.

Black Is Beautiful

History taught us that being different was not ok and has had some serious repercussions. Not conforming to a mans ways and views of life resulted in many races to be subdued to slavery. Blacks, Hispanics, Asians and even Whites are among the few stories that are shared and told.  Today I will discuss the views of Black, how some of our own kind think and treat us.

On an Episode of TI and Tiny their little boy Major(5) asked TI "Daddy can I have a white woman?" TI just laughed it off and said you can have any woman you want. Watching another episode of Tiny and Toya they touched on the subject of girls and skin for awhile. Then watching the music videos I only see the light skinned Black girls, Hispanic girls or big butt White girls in the videos cuddled next to the stars.

Even actor Idris Elba from England said he wants his first kid to be mixed because he doesn't want them to have nappy hair and dark skin. I don't know if he knows this but, he is dark himself so there is a 50/50 chance that his kid maybe dark as well. Seeing how he is not mixed himself having a kid with  "good hair" will come in choice of mate.



Lil Wayne has even said " I only f**s with that light skinned because everything darker is ugly" Hence that his new fiance is a model of whatever decent and his daughter is dark just like him. There is an article that a young woman published about Wayne and his friends saying: "I was called back to be a video girl in his shoot for lollipop. I brought my friend because I didn't want to go to the shoot alone. After the three day shoot I got invited to his room to have a party with the other girls and his friends. I agreed to go only if i can bring my friend along. My friend and I headed to his room where we were greeted by his friend and showed in. As my friend stepped in the room Wayne was quick to say: "HELL NO, She can't come in, the darkness has to stay out the room" all his other friends laughed and the ladies and I looked at him with disgust. My friend snapped back and said "I'm lighter than your daughter and you and you have the nerve to talk about dark and ugly?" Wayne replied "Difference is my daughter has money so that makes her beautiful you do not so good bye." Ever since then I haven't listened or bought a Wayne album.

After reading this article that has been re published and posted on many sites with no comment from Wayne's team. It's a shame that these two men will say these things publicly or even think this way. Believe it or not they are role models and little ones look up to them. So if they hear or see their fav star doing or saying something absurd they may follow suit. I'm going to end my star bust outs with these two men and continue with my views.

** Being in Alaska there are definitely black people here along with other races. So going out of state and allowing people to see my ID always brings the question to "there's black people in Alaska? and they look like you?" Put a smile on my face because yes there are black people in Alaska, but even being from here seems like other people are still shocked to see black people here. A friend of mine told me that she was once approached by someone who said" I usually don't like black black girls, but your hot" Now let me tell you this friend is not easily offend but hearing something like this is down right rude. OK you gave your compliment  but it came with a smack in the face to my people. Other women I know dark and light agree on the fact that darker women have it hardest when it comes to the black race in general. We are perceived by others and even our men as not being beautiful. Darker skinned women to ultimately have to work harder than the rest. This is something I will never understand. 

It's sad, I've been told myself that I'm the prettiest black person some guys have seen and even women have said this too. Some people even assume that I'm mixed with something because there is no way I can be 100% black. So here it is what I'm mixed with,  I'm Cro-Indian (from India), Trinidadian, Black,Cherokee  and English but since I have that Black in me, to anyone else it doesn't matter what my nationality is I will always be black. Am I Ashamed? Hell no, I don't have to waste money to make myself look how I would want, worry about ageing weird and saggy because my skin is firm and tight through my family and so much more. Being a minority and achieving my goals gets a way bigger reaction that not being a minority. Why? Because it's unexpected, and I love it when I become that someone that's  UNEXPECTED :)

Men I didn't forget about you :) 

Over time for men, some women thought dark men weren't as sexy as light skinned men. Why? Well dark skinned men were publicized as being mean, woman beaters, drinkers, smokers,people who leave their kids, or have multiple kids. Just look up some old advertisements pertaining to black men, you will most likely find a picture with a dark skinned man. This view that was so public was brainwashing many woman to thinking that dark equals bad. Until about the 80's when Hip Hop started to come alive then in the 90's when for instance Tyrese came out and made dark sexy, strong, smart and so much more. After that the tables flipped, dark was in and light was out. Now a days for women that rule is almost washed out, now it doesn't matter as long as you have a good head on your shoulders. Now don't get me wrong some women still have their preference on what they choose. 

Black is beautiful, and so is every other race out there. At times I try to be color blind but it's so hard when people have on their rose colored glasses and still live like it's the 1920's.  Will this view ever go away? Will the pain caused by many wars be forgotten? Will Hitler's reign ever be left out the books? Will Martin Luther King Jr's speech be erased and never heard of again? Will JFK's murder be overlooked? or will Abraham Lincoln freeing the slaves be brushed off as if it never happened? absolutely not. It's a battle, a thought and a memory that will always live as long as this earth is still rotating and people are still living.

Say what you want, no matter what my nationality is to it's entirety, I'm Black and I think it's  beautiful

Always be You

"You shouldn't just be subjective to one thing, thought, or saying. Allowing others to deprive you of your knowledge and outbursts is so self containing, that's why people go crazy."- Travis Edmonton

Lately I've been getting a lot of requests to write about some topics. This current post is a request from a fellow colleague I went to school with at the Art Institute (oh how I miss the level of complex minds)

He said: "Ebony, when do we (as people and creative thinkers) know when enough is enough and when to hush up?"

Travis said he reads these posts daily or whenever I post them, so he read the one that said When is enough enough, but wanted me to elaborate more on that subject. So here is my response:

"Travis, to be honest I don't really know when it's time to hush up. Why? Because I will never do that, it's against who I am and what I do and what I stand for. I cannot be that subjective person and I will never be. My father would be ashamed of me and then my friends wouldn't know who I am if I do so. So with that being said, there is no point to where one knows, they have a feeling but regardless people say and do as they please and people cannot change that independence in someone. Hell we went to the same college you know how vocal they are there"



Travis laughed and agreed, he then went on to tell me how things are different for him now and he feels confined and asked what would I do if I was in that situation.

"I said leave the situation, no matter what it brings or has to offer in the end if you are not happy with yourself the amount of money can't make up for the deep sorrow your soul feels. You aren't alone in this topic Travis, I'm in the same boat feeling a little constricted in this matter but I am choosing to leave. It will be a sad departure but when you're not happy things have to change. YOU are in charge of your own happiness"

Travis: " This is why I miss AIS Can't have convo's like this anymore"

The conversation went deeper and longer into our minds and what's really going on, and in the end we felt free and back to normal. Someone will ALWAYS try to shut you up and hold you down, You just got to be strong enough to say " I'm me take it or leave it"