That Irritable Time Bomb

There comes a time in ALL of our lives when we become a ticking time bomb. We start out nice, understanding and patient. But then you always come across that ONE person who can ruin and take advantage of your niceness. Am I right? So what happens to those
people who smile and try to be positive? from a collection of asking friends, strangers, family and personal experience I came up with the most common answers in the following situations.



Relationships!
Many of us want one, some want to stay away and little girls grow up wanting that prince charming. This can go either way, the man or woman in the relationship will be nice, forgiving overlook plenty of things that may bother them and make them think twice about their relationship. Soon the partner knows what they can get away with and.... (guess what happens!) THEY KEEP DOING IT! Soon they are able to do certain things and the other person will be scolded for doing the same actions. This is more common than normal. Bad thing about this is that one person soon starts to veer off and question on if this relationship will work despite the "love" they might feel & typically end the relationship.


Work!

There's always that ONE co-worker who takes ideas and secretly sales it as their own. The new person to the group is innocent and naive to the situations at hand because they are simply trying to fit in. What happens in this situation? Well soon that nice guy/gal turns into the Hulk becomes a dick or bitch (whatever term you would prefer to use) and starts to really shake things up in the office. Bad thing about this is that the new person will be fired because the boss will usually see the back end of things and not the whole picture; classic case of peer pressure.




Family!
This one is tricky and the most common. You have that parent, cousin, sibling, aunt or uncle who are all smiles and usually wants something. Whether it be listening to a drunken conversational topic you've heard a million times, to borrowing only $5 for the 30th time, to even keeping dirty secrets that backfire on the ear lender. Not much you can do about this category unless you decide to cut off your family members. Bad thing about being stuck as the nice guy in your family is that you will always be considered that and be taken advantage of; sooner or later you will lash out and ruin those family bonds.



Being a irritable time bomb is no fun I've been that before and when I exploded it wasn't pretty. To manage that I cut off plenty of people found my me time. Now I'll be honest I've lost that me time and I'm slowly going back to that ticking bomb, this time I know what to do to avoid that and avoid hurting peoples feelings (see I can have a heart at times :D)

Holiday Season! Where's the Cheer?

THANKSGIVING is right around the corner!! Yet stores are already putting up Christmas stuff and dismissing Thanksgiving all in one. People are getting their knee pads ready for black Friday sales, and already know when they are going to wake up and where they are going to hit. Instead of focusing on getting meals prepared and thanking God for what they are thankful for.

Soon after the feast is over, we take a quick power nap and then think about Christmas! A majority of people think about the presents, and how much money they have to spend. While others like me cherish this time and the people who they kept close. Kids are excited for Santa, mom is preparing the snacks she will leave out, dad is working twice as hard to make sure the kids get a great Christmas yet again. All for the superficial, give me this and that nature. Forgetting that Christmas is about Christ and not us, forgetting that Christmas is the  time to spend with family and not just to enjoy the material things.


Then the year is over.  We all sit and think back on the good times this past year had brought us, and slowly laugh at the pain that traveled our way. Before we know it, we are finding someone to kiss at midnight. Then our year starts all over again in 2013. In the beginning we have hope and make goals aka resolutions that we all tend to forget and dismiss around February.

Why? To start the whole tradition all over again. 

Where did the true meaning of the holiday season go? The family time spent, listening to music, talking, watching parades on television and breathing in the brisk air while genuinely feeling happy?  As years went by it's been replaced by buying off our loved ones instead of telling them you love them. Now we want instead of enjoy the basic necessities. We've been commercialized.


This year (even though it was never far from me) I plan on restoring those values. This holiday season is a blessing and has brought so much since last season. I have nothing but gratefulness in my heart, prayers that will continue to be said, and  a big smile to be worn.

Fight Through The "NO"

Yeah, that ugly two letter word we all hate!!! 

Some people want many things in life, and don't work for it. A lot of people in this world don't work as hard as others because they have ties or mommy and daddy or my favorite MONEY! So it makes us normal people who work hard. blood sweat and tears hard; have to work 10x more to even get our foot in the door.

It's unfair and down right rude that's why some people give up! SOME have the mindset that there's no need to go for it because someone will always get there before me, someone will always be ahead of the game!

Let me tell you something, things that are meant to last don't GET HANDED to people. DREAMS that are meant to happen and be successful aren't going to those who call mommy and daddy and rely on their money. GOALS that are meant to be reached wont be satisfied by someone who didn't sweat for it.

There is NO LONG TERM SATISFACTION for the people who are spoiled. They rely on the money and other people to make things happen. They are weak and not self aware let alone independent enough to keep the ball rolling. Hence the celebrity break downs among those who get things handed to them, the career flops and so on. Take away those ties and cash, and you'll be left with a self loathing, cry baby who can barely wipe their own ass.

When you try and go for a goal, don't be mad at all the NO'S you WILL receive. Instead look at those No's as a blessing. That means, what ever company you are trying to be noticed by isn't the right fit. There is a yes down the line, you just have to have the drive, determination  mind set, and STRENGTH to find it. There will be a shit load of No's that will come your way. SIMPLY because you are not ready! Then you will hit a maybe one or two maybe a few more; which will let you know you are almost there. Then when you have grown, and accepted and defeated NO you will walk through an unsuspecting door of yes.


So stop thinking you're entitled to something because you have knowledge about it and been doing it for awhile. STOP thinking the world owes you, please for the love of humanity STOP blaming people, getting snippy and whinny;and last but not least STOP looking at others and expecting to have the same outcome.

Everyone journey is different.

Let Them Play...

Pageants....... Sigh 

Beauty pageants..... they are everywhere and seem to be the main attraction in Texas! Young girls put into pageants to be judged on beauty and what they know. How can they judge little girls on knowledge when most of them can hardly spell? The amount of time parents put into their kids for them to be able to do pageants is amazing! Makes me wonder, is this really for your little princess? Or is this some dream you weren't able to live?

Many parents put their kids through it for themselves and sooner or later when the child grows up it becomes something they want to be because it's all they know. On one episode of Toddlers and Tiaras, there was this one pageant child who told her mom that she didn't want to do it, she was 3 at the time. Her mother replied with "well you have no choice." Is that really what we are teaching our young girls? That LIFE itself is a pageant? and  being the one with the best shell, false smile, fake hair and will win? IN most cases this is true depending on what industry you enter in. WHAT is not showcased in these pageants is that EDUCATION plus beauty can take you to higher places than just being someones eye candy.

Ups & Downs

Ups: 

The ups on putting your child through pageants is giving them a chance to be creative, interact with other young girls, learn competition, earn money (hopefully for school), and to be active. There probably are many more but these are the only pluses I see. 

Downs:

The downs on child's pageants for me go as follows: make up caked on (hiding their true selves), tight clothes, and unwanted attention from predators! Like the most well known case of JonBenet Ramsey, an adorable pageant child who won numerous awards and pageants. She was found dead in her basement, case is still unsolved. God and the killer are the only ones who know what happened to this little girl. At these pageants there aren't guidelines on to who can enter. You never know if you're sitting next to a child predator who's praying on his next victim; this person can be MALE OR FEMALE! Or if that judge at the table is doing unspeakable things with your child while the curtains are down. It's an open field and play ground for anyone to step their foot on. Exploiting your child in bikini;'s, makeup, teaching them to switch their hips and flaunt everything they have around stage is ridiculous. 

These babies don't know any better, they are just kids. Having to be transformed into a woman on stage is normal to them. Sure many would argue about poise and grace and all that good stuff, but the truth of the matter is, you never know who will or might follow you home. You never know who is a predator until your little princess is treated like a grown woman. The grown woman you turn her into when she's on stage. 

I don't understand. Maybe I would be pro-pageant IF they allowed the kids to be judged on how they really are. By that I mean, looks no make up, let them dress themselves, pick their own talents and so forth. Let them be a child on stage, the child they are meant to be at that point in their lives. Maybe if that would happen, I would agree, until then this is where I stand and how I feel. 

Shits for Giggles.. Don't Cross Here Deer!!!

Originally I wasn't going to write a blog BUT I saw this video that made me want to post it and share! The things some people believe and actually think is just amazing! Listen to how this lady truly believes that deer know and comprehend deer crossing signs..

Thank you Amy James for this great laugh

Story of Rose

Sitting patiently, waiting to be picked
Watching everyone around it surface
"This one is prettier" some say
"This one is the right color" some explained
So the rose just sits.... sits.... sits and wait
For her day that she will soon be picked

Untouched, pedals in place, stem as strong as a rhino horn
This rose battles through all types of weather
Lasting through 8 seasons it stands strong
All the other ones that weren't picked slowly died off
2 years and counting she sits and waits
Soon someone comes she thinks she found her mate

He looks perfect, smiled with ease
Voice so soothing the rose could feel his heart beat
Finally she gets picked
Held tightly in his arms, his grasp like no other
She reached her new home and her pedals open wide
Soon to find out, it was greener on the outside

Waiting so many years and yet satisfied with the pick
This house isn't so lovely because the woman is sick
Sitting on her death bed the rose stood by her side
It could be anyday now when our lady could die

The rose sat there and wondered "what about I? what would happen if this lady should die?"
.So she pondered by herself week after week
Soon the machines that stood tall next to her made a weird beep
the rose stood tall worried as people rushed in
Guys with metal hands yelled "clear" and ladies with sharp syringes came near

Soon her man, her knight and shinning armor stood in the doorway
His eyes filled with water and his body began to shake
Realizing the person he bought the rose for is in a better place.
He sat on the bed rubbing the sheets
Looked at the rose and started to speak

As my pedals began to fall my steam began to weaken
now I was feeling weak in this cold winter season
he held me while he sat on the bed
said he loved her and can't believe shes dead
he slowly lifted up and rubbed his eyes
looking at me so weak and fragile
it was now my time to die.


A poem I thought of.. just because.... Hope you enjoyed :) back to random antics tomorrow

Really? Is That How You Feel???

MAN! Is it just me, or are people REALLY into their emotions lately? Maybe it's because of the season, you know political and fall seasons. This time of year our social networking sites are full of political rants a raves and people swearing they know the God honest truth about EACH candidate. THEN you have the fall, which in some states brings bleak skies and cold temperatures, therefore making people grumpy, rude and well.. just flat out BITCHY!



So Tell me how you really feel is my personal take on Facebook statuses that have to do with back stabbers and sneaky people. This seems to be filling up my news feed!! My thoughts on this is because people's true colors come out at this time of year! It's cold some people are lonely and start talking WAY more than they should and usually air out a few skeletons of theirs and their buddies. Soon all that comes BACK and SHABAM! DRAMA CENTER ALERT! Now you have people breaking up with their boyfriends and BFF's and You slept with Johnny yadda yadda yadda; UGH it's exhausting.

I would love it if Facebook could be a happy non judgmental place where people can actually come to talk and keep in touch. INSTEAD it's about liking "I LOVE BOOBIES" or "FREAKS ONLY" pages, talking about your co-worker and bosses, using ridiculous: "IHTSBSOABHCKMA" #hadenough instead of simply typing out : "I hate that slime bag son of a bitch, he can kiss my ass".. not everyone knows what each letter means

So tell me, WHY is it OK to air out all your business to the entire world, but yet act surprised when people are actually in it?

I'll tell you how I really feel so it doesn't seem like I'm picking on people:
and I apologize for anyone who would read this and think 100x more into each little word than it's supposed to be. I have plenty of people who read these blogs, and some of them actually think it's about them (DESPITE MY EXAMPLES THAT DON'T CONCERN NOR DESCRIBE THEM).. irritating...

So please by all means, tell me how you really feel; since reading it online is never enough.

Too Broken to Fix?

Relationships....

I for one am NO expert nor can I give advie, because to be honest I have no clue what to do. All I can speak on is experience from myself, friends and family situations. With that being said, it brings on the reason for this blog "To Broken to Fix?"


Some people have the tendency to stay in situations or relationships when there is WAY to much damage done to be fixed. There is ALWAYS one person in the relationship who see's no problem with the major issues and doesn't understand why the other person might hold on and put that guard up.  Speaking with many people about this, family, friends even co workers I wanted to get a really good reasoning for why this happens. Here is what it came down to.

Guard up responses: 

"When a situation happens on more than one occasion, people in general tend to have a guard and want to wait and see if things really change or not." -friend

"I had my guard up in one relationship and wouldn't let go because I was stuck on the "Possibility" of it getting better, and it never did."- co-worker

"You want to trust, but for some reason you can't. All that has been done and continues to be done in my eyes won't make up for the hurt and pain it caused prior." -family member 

No Problem responses:

"Well, if it's truly in the past and doesn't happen again why should it be an issue?" family member

"Somethings need to be worked out and when one person honestly believes that it's done and over with they will think it's ok and move on. Most of the time the other person isn't over it." co-worker

"If you avoid the issue sooner or later it should disappear." -friend 

To be honest, I like all these answers. There's truth in all of them and faults in some. Either way, this let me know how some people think. Now maybe you think similar or have a different thought or response.

If you are in this situation and have plenty of questions, one place to avoid is going to FRIENDS! You will always have that one who wants you to be single and miserable like them, and then you'll have one who wants you to stay no matter the circumstances. Take time and if you pray then do that. YOU are the only one who can fix what's not making you happy not your significant other or friends or your family.

Are things really to broken to be fixed? Is there always something to do to "rekindle" or "relight the flame" that was lost? Or is it just a lost cause and people should cut their loses before it really gets ugly? It's hard to say especially when you're in that situation. You may not want to hurt the other person or hell you may even hold on to the "possibility" versus reality.

Whatever you choose best of luck in this life changing decision. Just avoid waiting to long, you don't want to lose yourself by protecting something that isn't working.

People Are Watching...Step it up!

I was out at lunch today, just walking through Carrs looking for a great salad. I hear someone talking this mother and daughter and I see the little girl look my way. The mother was smiling and trying to push her daughter towards me. Her daughter bright smile and wide eyed was nervous a little shaky but then made her way in my direction.

"Excuse me." I turned around and smiled at her, looked up briefly at her mom who was waving and grinning ear to ear at me.
"Hey there, what's going on?" I asked, she looked back at her mom and quickly turned around.
"You're Ebony Williams right? The one from TV?"
I nodded my head and said "yes"
"Well, My name is Amya I'm 11 and I just wanted to say that I love you and you have inspired me to become a weather girl too!"
I looked at her and smiled, didn't know what to say because she was 11 and I did that about 2 years ago; so I was a little shocked and flattered. Her mother than came to me and said:
"She's been following your footsteps, loved you on TV, then to that one radio station and now ...." "KFAT" (the little girl busted out) "Yes KFAT, and she also begged me to buy your book."
I sat there just in amazement at this woman and her darling daughter. Lost in words for once I was taken by surprise and smacked in the face with humility.
"MOM! I have it in the car can I please go get it so she can sign it!?" She was so anxious and full of life, I love to see children that way.
"Of course!" Then her mother looked at me and whispered "do you mind?"
"Of course not, I'll wait."

Sitting there talking with her mother and waiting for the little girl to come back I learned so much about these two and myself. Some people might say "DUH" to this but I realized that I have power and influence on these young girls, kids period, people my age and hell some older. I know that I need to step up to the plate and either tag team with someone or start something that helps shape our young, brilliant minded children; especially our young ladies.

Running into this little girl and her mother was not only great for them but also for me. This let me know that HEY people are watching, some are actually in your corner and want you to do well and achieve all that you aspire to achieve. You just have to stick with your heart and do it.

That is my next step up here in Alaska. I'm  at a level to where I can give back with enough of me, with all that I have learned and are continuing to learn. There's enough knowledge in my noggin to share and help those wide eyed little ones.

Time to step it up.
They are watching....
Are you ready?

Friends Helping Friends!

HAPPY TUESDAY! 

Hope you guys are having a fantastic Tuesday!! This blog is about friends helping friends! And when you have a big network or building one, everyone can use a shout out! Right? Whether you're an upcoming business, musician, dancer, artist of any sort etc. This blog goes out to a specific friend and what she is doing that is absolutely phenomenal.

KARISSA LaREN!

Karissa is an amazing person with an even bigger voice! From ALASKA to BALTIMORE she is making moves that not only help her, but she's also reaching out to help better Baltimore. Will you help? Check her out at    http://www.indiegogo.com/wearethesounds.... watch the video for more information :) You go girl!

** I've already donated, and will donate more come $ day. I'm all for supporting great causes especially when people I know are pushing as well. 

Locked In Your Own Thoughts

Let's face it, we all have it, do it, think it at some point in time. I'm referring to over thinking and allowing ourselves to be trapped in our own thoughts. Our mind is great, but it can also be deadly at the same time. I for one  am an over thinker. I'm a Pisces and a very literal person. Words mean more to me than actions, why? Well for me all a man has is his word, if that's not reliable what's the point on waiting to see their actions? (makes sense to me)



The good thing about this is that it allows me to think, and get things clear before I actually go through with something. The BAD thing about my thought process is that while I"m thinking about something I have the tendency to sometimes miss the joy out of things, because I'm weighing the pros and cons. I use myself a lot in my blogs because I know for a fact I'm not the only one with a certain type of emotion and thought process. People don't like to speak  on themselves because they don't want to face the reality WELL WAKE UP! THIS BLOG IS A SMACK IN THE FACE WITH REALITY!! :-D

Why do we over think? Why can't we just go with the flow without a care in the world? What happened to loving and trusting one another? Granted that when we do someone ends up missing or on the front page of the news paper. PEOPLE are crazy! We now are so guarded we can't trust those who "love" us. society is twisted and has way more mood swings than any other thing known to man.


Locked in our own thoughts. Is this good or bad?

You Sly Little Kitten You!

FASHION! Rules the world pretty much. Doesn't matter what your style is, everyone wears clothes and has some type of favorite brand.




Mine just so happens to be Fashion Designer Natasha Sample with NES Fashions check her out! Shes been in Seattle's Fashion week and even got an invitation for Canada's and Austraila's shes on the up and up! And my Alaskans she is from ALASKA! and shes my sister so she's 10x more awesome! :)

www.nesfashions.com

What Makes You B E A utiful.

Hollywood tells us we need to be a size 0 in order to be beautiful. In magazines, on TV, in movies, it's everywhere. Thin is supposedly in and anything else other than that is down right obscure, fat and gross.

Human Barbie 

 From the 30's to now it went from thick to extremely thin as gorgeous! Why? Women now are going through such extreme measures to become that eye candy beauty that is only thought of and photoshopped. Take Valeria Lukyanova, a Russian model who went to the extremes to look like Barbie.  And NO this is not a maniquen, or a really great drawing. This is what she looks like. Why? She says it's beautiful. Not only must she be starving and the amounts of surgery it takes to look like this is ridiculous! But then again, this is what's broadcast as beautiful. It's slowly brain washing people to think so.

What Makes you Beautiful is not just the outside (for all my superficial people) but it's also what's on the inside. In Hollywood sure it helps to be skinny and starving so that you'll avoid the looks and comments from critics. They make is seem like being thin is in and is the best  life choice. I must say to workout as much as someone would have to, eat a certain way and get plenty of fluids and rest it takes to be thin is exhausting and pretty much a second job.Celebrities now are getting into shape but most of them are forgoing the harsh diets and embracing their curves, bellys, thighs etc. More and more we're seeing our once super thin celebs like Christina Aguilera and Demi Lavato Britney Spears embracing the pounds they naturally put on and shaping themselves in a great way.

Personally I think being full figured is more beautiful than being a stick and seeing ribs. Not only is it not healthy but I know more full figured women who love themselves and are happier than my friends who diet all the time and workout 7 days a week.

Stop being so superficial and sensitive. Say fuck you to what the media portrays as beautiful and say hello to what feels right and makes you smile. Don't be afraid to eat that cookie or have a slice of cake, go a day without counting calories or working out. Take a break you deserve it and honestly it's over due. Now don't confuse my words for being HEALTHY with being OBESE. It's a shame that most of america sees over a size 6 as obese even if that person is in good shape.



What Makes You Beautiful, is exactly that YOU. Take it in and except yourself then go about your days.

The Best Kind of Love

We all have someone in our lives whether it be a family member, close friend, or significant other that we absolutely love to death! What happens when your love is shunned away all because your mom or friend or girlfriend has an issue? Alcohol? Drugs? or what about an addiction? What if every time that person you love changes into a monster when on something? What will you do?

For those who love hard and won't give up, they will stick around and wait it out. For those who are afraid and aren't sure just might head for the hills. Which one are you? It's ok to say fuck it and bounce, and it's also ok to stay and wait it out, try to be supportive. For me I tried a little of both. I ran for the hills once but came back because I knew I could help. Now I'm in a position to run forever or help out what could be a forever. I choose to help because it's in my heart, and God is in my ear to be patient and kind. So I'm doing a little of both now, heading for the hills but still helping from a distance to see what happens. 

I'm not the type to give up on something I know could work and will if it's meant to be. I could listen to those who are single and will be more than willing to have me that way and in pain all because they are miserable. Or I can listen to those who are happily married, hear the trials and tribulations and understand what needs to be done and not to make a situation better. I choose to listen to those who are happy and know what they are speaking on unlike the other group. 

In the mean time, helping out doesn't mean you are going to get hurt, it means you are big enough to fight for what you want; and for me I always get what my heart desires. Keep in mind, you can't help someone who doesn't want it, so if you try and they aren't willing to better themselves, then let it go.. Time can only tell the truth.. 

Pride

The beautiful thing about living in America is the amounts of people with different views, beliefs, religions, politics and most importantly nationalities. With the amount of racism that still exists in America today it amazes me that some people don't understand that this land was taken from immigrants in the first place. Through out the years plenty of people and villages have claimed the Land of the Free as their home.

Alaska has turned into one of the most diverse places to live. Many Africans, Orientals, Pacific Islanders, and Caribbean Islanders call this place home. When I was growing up here, only one part of town was "ethnic" and the others weren't; now where ever you drive or walk  you will see a little bit of everything. I love going to malls and down town walking around and hearing the many accents, seeing different wardrobes and watching little shops from Russia, Africa, Jamaica, Dominican Republic etc come up; form the food to clothes it's something great to see.There's a little sense of the world and understanding coming to Alaska, and it's making this place even more beautiful than just land. It's unique in many ways thanks to the people that are migrating to it adding a little flare to the 49th state.

Pride isn't just about loving your country, nationality or family. Pride comes in many forms from clothing, understanding, religious views and knowledge. We all know that there are many people who are not so accepting to change and different peoples nationalities. When asked what I was, I would always say Trinidadian because it's true. Then I would get oh so you're like Jamaican? For me that's very disrespectful, Puerto Rican's and Dominican's don't like to be called Mexican; Japanese don't like to be called Chinese and vice versa when they are not. There is a difference even if they speak the same language. I would try not to get mad because I know that a lot of people are ignorant and don't understand the difference. In my heart, through my veins and in my family I'm aware of who I am and what makes me.

Today August 31st marks my country's 50th Anniversary for Independence; Trinidad and Tobago. An accomplishment that is highly celebrated and appreciated among those I know and those I'm getting to know. Happy Independence Day to all my Trinidadians around the world, lets celebrate. 

You Don't Need to Workout You're Skinny!!

It's Everywhere! No not sex, working out! Sexy pictures roaming through Facebook of females in lingerie carrying weights, and sweaty men with a chiseled chest and to die for abs. The First Lady has been trying to make our school systems healthy and getting kids more active. More celebrities are advertising water commercials and sports drinks. Self & Shape Magazine has recent stars like Demi Lavato and Jordin Sparks who were pretty hefty and now in decent shape looking healthy and happy! They both said they have incredible amounts of energy and feel really good about themselves (and guess what! They only workout 3-4times a week).

So for those who think the gym is for people who want to be skinny and starve themselves.. shut up. please and thank you! Now you might be saying Ebony why so harsh? I workout 5 days a week and sometimes 6. I always get the you don't need to work out you're skinny (which I am not and proud about that), then they joke on how they need to go to the gym and start laughing... I'm not out of shape, or obese or anything along that matter. BUT there was a point in time when I was over 190lbs thanks to a previous relationship. Before I gained that weight I was at 145lbs. Why did I work out?? Well I'm  naturally athletic, always have been in sports and after high school I kept it up. Then I got caught up in someone else instead of myself and BOOOM I blew up! After that I realized I lost who I was, felt kind of miserable and needed to get back to the old me. I went straight to the gym and began my workouts, in a matter of months I dropped 20lbs. Now a couple years later I'm at a solid 160lbs and loving it. Still have some meat, my shape is defined, I still have a little jiggle which I love and I can run my mile in under 7 minutes again.

Release 

The gym is a great stress reliever. Hell you don't even have to run all day and lift weights or have to be in the gym for hours at a time to feel good. My girlfriend lost tons of lbs just by doing kick boxing twice a week. Get some of that stress off of you, and kick something, dance it off run or even walk. It's not just about getting "skinny" as some say, it's mainly about living longer and loving yourself. Not all of us are supposed to be skinny and slim. Majority of people are thick and big boned there is nothing wrong with that by any means. I know girls who are bigger than me but in really great shape and can out run me. When you're comfortable with yourself, feel great every morning, don't feel guilty by indulging, and having fun everyday; I say you mastered being happy within yourself. For me apart of that is the gym. It's my escape, my therapy and honestly helps me look pretty damn good. (hey I work hard at it, I'm allowed to love the way I look) 

On the other hand, I know plenty of people who don't workout, are obese and eat whatever whenever they want, and they are still very happy. That's great and I  love them just the same, it just breaks my heart to see them in pain, can't breathe, have sudden health issues, get tired so quick and don't want to do certain activities. Not everyone needs to go to the gym to feel better, but living life is pretty awesome and I would like to live it to the fullest; thanks to the gym I believe I can live it longer.

Skinny People Get Crap For Working-out Too! 

Skinny people have it just as hard in the gym as heavier set people. If you are one of the two body types, you will get looked at by someone who is most likely judging you. I used to work with a young lady, very cute and petite (when I say petite she has to be like 5'4" and weighed maybe 110lbs) Her and I were talking about working out because she is crazy about the gym like I am. She said when going to a gym like Planet Fitness she would always get stared at because she was the only skinny girl in there, and she felt as if she wasn't welcome therefore causing her to cancel her membership.  Makes perfect sense to me, I know other guys and gals who say the same thing. SO! Guess what, whether you are skinny, big, in the middle, purple or yellow doesn't matter, you're always going to be judged by someone in the gym. My advice, if you want to complete whatever goals you have put in those head phones and make the gym your bit**! 

Personal Opinion. 

Perfect Explanation a Must Watch:

Why Do You Write? ( You Aren't Paid to Think)

After coming back from a very calm weekend and much needed me time. I started off my Monday at the store grabbing some breakfast before I headed to work. While I was at the store I ran into a Facebook friend. I didn't know this person personally but I knew of them. She approached me and said: "You're Ebony right?" I nodded and stared waiting for her to finish speaking. "Well my name is ****, I have you as a friend on Facebook. I sent you a request because I think what you go through and how you channel that into your writing is cool. How you have found your calling at such a young age and been in a difficult industry to remain relevant is hard. But why write a blog? I mean I love reading it, but I always wondered." I smile and looked and this woman. She is much older, sounds articulate, and VERY energetic for how early it was. I put my bags down and I told her: " Someone once said to me "You aren't paid to think" I write because it is my only form of expression that I'm able to use. Writing lets me see my own thoughts and answer some deep questions I've asked myself. I write  down what people say at times and study it. I look into those words and meanings. Through that I'm able to see who is really there for me and who really loves me. Its a way people can get a hint of my life and what goes on in my mind. Just a taste of some emotion. Most of the time speaking to people who claim to be your friend and others who say they love you, isn't enough, because in the back of some peoples mind, you're full of shit or you don't make sense. This has happened to me alot, my feelings aren't cared for and how I think is not accepted. BUT once I write it down for them to see, all of a sudden it makes sense. It's a little confusing since I've been saying things and it not be taken to heart, but for some reason when I lift my pen, or turn on a computer it makes perfect sense." She smiled and said, "I completely understand. At 50 years old I still continue to fight with releasing emotions." I told her "Try writing it literally saved my life."

So why do I write? Besides for expression, it's who I am and what I know. It's a gift that wont be taken away; something that I have control over. When I write, I'm able to say what I want, how I want and I could care less If I hurt peoples feelings or if someone thinks a blog is about them. I don't care if someone is offended by my words and wants it to be taken down. Why? Because my writing is me, if I edit myself I am a lie to what I stand for and what has God created. I refuse to be that, take me or leave me. Thick skin is what got me to where I am, I believe that people are so shaded and soft they don't know how to be tough or react to someone with a very strong voice. If that is you, don't read my blogs, don't send me a friend request, don't follow me on twitter or instagram; because I won't be censored. AND the icing on the cake, when people doubt me, say mean things and try to steer me away from my passion. It makes me work 10x harder. :)

That is why I write.

It Only Takes One

So because of James Holmes who shot up the Colorado movie theater... 3 more men have been arrested because either they want to shoot up a theater or have seen the movie and want to shoot something/someone. In Maine Timothy Courtious was caught speeding and told police something unbelievable! Courtious said he was on his way to shoot up a former co-worker. While police searched Courtious' car they found an AK-47, four handguns, ammunition and news clippings from the Colorado shooting. Why? Well after he saw Dark Knight Rises and the Colorado Shooter of course! So out of ALL the people in the world, this guy chooses the Colorado shooter as his idol?  In good old Los Angeles 52 year old Clark Tabor stood up in the theater and said "I should go off like Colorado! Anybody have a gun?" Tabor was quickly arrested... James Holmes seems to be a hero and superstar for the crazy people of America and probably around the world soon enough. 

The sad thing about James Holmes is that he's not crazy; he's just a man who acted out his fantasy. If he was crazy I doubt he would have planned months ahead to make this happen. If he was truly crazy it wouldn’t have been planned he would've just done it. Looking dazed with crazy hair and out of tune in a court room does make you look insane and justifies why you would try to plead with reason of insanity. BUT I hope the jury is smart enough to see right through the act of "insane" and go off him being normal and should be held accountable for his actions. 

It only takes ONE person to act this way to create complete chaos. It's a shame that A LOT of people are easily influenced.... That's the scary part. 

Weekend Getaways

Happy Friday!!!!! 

As we all know, I try to make my Friday posts a little more light on the eyes. Today is a happy day (not just because it's Friday) but because I woke up with a whole new attitude. Lets just say all God's blessings are being shown to me and I'm grateful.

This weekend is a chance for me to relax, enjoy and think on many things. My little weekend getaway will be just that, out of town and surrounded by fun, my love and no communication aka phone is put away. Want to relax a little? DO something for you this weekend. Go to a movie, get a massage, eat with friends or family and turn off your phone. Be disconnected with the world for a couple hours if not the entire weekend. Get back to you and re-up on energy, you deserve it.

Black Is Beautiful

History taught us that being different was not ok and has had some serious repercussions. Not conforming to a mans ways and views of life resulted in many races to be subdued to slavery. Blacks, Hispanics, Asians and even Whites are among the few stories that are shared and told.  Today I will discuss the views of Black, how some of our own kind think and treat us.

On an Episode of TI and Tiny their little boy Major(5) asked TI "Daddy can I have a white woman?" TI just laughed it off and said you can have any woman you want. Watching another episode of Tiny and Toya they touched on the subject of girls and skin for awhile. Then watching the music videos I only see the light skinned Black girls, Hispanic girls or big butt White girls in the videos cuddled next to the stars.

Even actor Idris Elba from England said he wants his first kid to be mixed because he doesn't want them to have nappy hair and dark skin. I don't know if he knows this but, he is dark himself so there is a 50/50 chance that his kid maybe dark as well. Seeing how he is not mixed himself having a kid with  "good hair" will come in choice of mate.



Lil Wayne has even said " I only f**s with that light skinned because everything darker is ugly" Hence that his new fiance is a model of whatever decent and his daughter is dark just like him. There is an article that a young woman published about Wayne and his friends saying: "I was called back to be a video girl in his shoot for lollipop. I brought my friend because I didn't want to go to the shoot alone. After the three day shoot I got invited to his room to have a party with the other girls and his friends. I agreed to go only if i can bring my friend along. My friend and I headed to his room where we were greeted by his friend and showed in. As my friend stepped in the room Wayne was quick to say: "HELL NO, She can't come in, the darkness has to stay out the room" all his other friends laughed and the ladies and I looked at him with disgust. My friend snapped back and said "I'm lighter than your daughter and you and you have the nerve to talk about dark and ugly?" Wayne replied "Difference is my daughter has money so that makes her beautiful you do not so good bye." Ever since then I haven't listened or bought a Wayne album.

After reading this article that has been re published and posted on many sites with no comment from Wayne's team. It's a shame that these two men will say these things publicly or even think this way. Believe it or not they are role models and little ones look up to them. So if they hear or see their fav star doing or saying something absurd they may follow suit. I'm going to end my star bust outs with these two men and continue with my views.

** Being in Alaska there are definitely black people here along with other races. So going out of state and allowing people to see my ID always brings the question to "there's black people in Alaska? and they look like you?" Put a smile on my face because yes there are black people in Alaska, but even being from here seems like other people are still shocked to see black people here. A friend of mine told me that she was once approached by someone who said" I usually don't like black black girls, but your hot" Now let me tell you this friend is not easily offend but hearing something like this is down right rude. OK you gave your compliment  but it came with a smack in the face to my people. Other women I know dark and light agree on the fact that darker women have it hardest when it comes to the black race in general. We are perceived by others and even our men as not being beautiful. Darker skinned women to ultimately have to work harder than the rest. This is something I will never understand. 

It's sad, I've been told myself that I'm the prettiest black person some guys have seen and even women have said this too. Some people even assume that I'm mixed with something because there is no way I can be 100% black. So here it is what I'm mixed with,  I'm Cro-Indian (from India), Trinidadian, Black,Cherokee  and English but since I have that Black in me, to anyone else it doesn't matter what my nationality is I will always be black. Am I Ashamed? Hell no, I don't have to waste money to make myself look how I would want, worry about ageing weird and saggy because my skin is firm and tight through my family and so much more. Being a minority and achieving my goals gets a way bigger reaction that not being a minority. Why? Because it's unexpected, and I love it when I become that someone that's  UNEXPECTED :)

Men I didn't forget about you :) 

Over time for men, some women thought dark men weren't as sexy as light skinned men. Why? Well dark skinned men were publicized as being mean, woman beaters, drinkers, smokers,people who leave their kids, or have multiple kids. Just look up some old advertisements pertaining to black men, you will most likely find a picture with a dark skinned man. This view that was so public was brainwashing many woman to thinking that dark equals bad. Until about the 80's when Hip Hop started to come alive then in the 90's when for instance Tyrese came out and made dark sexy, strong, smart and so much more. After that the tables flipped, dark was in and light was out. Now a days for women that rule is almost washed out, now it doesn't matter as long as you have a good head on your shoulders. Now don't get me wrong some women still have their preference on what they choose. 

Black is beautiful, and so is every other race out there. At times I try to be color blind but it's so hard when people have on their rose colored glasses and still live like it's the 1920's.  Will this view ever go away? Will the pain caused by many wars be forgotten? Will Hitler's reign ever be left out the books? Will Martin Luther King Jr's speech be erased and never heard of again? Will JFK's murder be overlooked? or will Abraham Lincoln freeing the slaves be brushed off as if it never happened? absolutely not. It's a battle, a thought and a memory that will always live as long as this earth is still rotating and people are still living.

Say what you want, no matter what my nationality is to it's entirety, I'm Black and I think it's  beautiful

The EX That Refuses to Stay That Way...

Girl: I thought we had something?

Boy: Yeah like months ago 

Girl: So are we officially done?

Boy: It's been almost 4 months

Girl: I still have faith in us

It happens to almost all of us who get into a relationship. We are happy seem to be unbreakable and start to make future plans. THEN out of no where and out of our control, there is always an EX Girlfriend/Boyfriend that hasn't given up hope. It starts off by he/she calling or texting  randomly just to say hi, check in, get an update. What happens when your ex finds out about your new beau? That one call or text turns into many more contact attempts, random bumping into each other which leads to the desperate outbursts of wanting them back!!!!!!

My ladies, ugh..... When we see our ex who treated us like a princess but we were being a spoiled brat and let him go. Say he is in shape, hanging with friends, happy and has a pretty new thing on his side.Wanna know what some women do in this case? Usually with the females in this role, they cry, try to bring up how you made them feel so good and what not, try to pry back into your families lives and start conversations with your friends. Trying every route to get back into your life some way or another. Then when you (the male) don't bite on that petty bull crap, what does she do? She turns around and starts saying how independent she is, she never needed you, you were holding her back, and now she happy with someone else. Really? Just two seconds ago you wanted his "Ego"* and now you're pulling a WEBBIE and miss I N D E P E N D E N T*?  Crazy!!!  

Now for our fellas who are wearing this shoe. You see your ex girl, she is happy, smiling that smile you used to put on her face. She is lighting up the room like never before, body is looking good because she didn't let herself go after you let her go and now she has a new man who is strikingly handsome, smart and everything you weren't. What do guys do in this situation? Well they aren't ALL as dramatic as the female route (but some are trust me..) instead they call and text cracking a joke or just saying what's up. Then those calls and texts start to become longer conversations. Guys have a slicker way of getting back into a females life, they have a certain swagg to it. Their patience really kicks in, soon they are in the friend zone and after awhile here they try to dominate as if they are Mufasa. Taking that role of friendship to a whole other level. When the female catches on she soon shuts him out and shows him the door. What happens after this? That female now becomes all kinds of bad names,  all of a sudden that guy now has plenty of women lined up, and it's nothing. Hmmm, now I'm a whore whose no good but yet you were JUST barking up my tree? Nice...

Some people just don't understand that relationships are meant for two! If it didn't work out with you and someone else in the beginning then hell it's not supposed to. Now it's hard to maintain a decent relationship because not only do people post it on Social Networking sites, it's so much easier to manipulate someone else. Draw them away from their current and have them be willing to do certain things. It's now broadcasted! By it I mean SEX! It's everywhere and so easy to get. It's a shame, the one who is worth the fight and scaring off exes will be the one you won't have to worry about. So stop rushing and be patient, he or she will come at the RIGHT time. For all that other drama, if your significant other wants to stray show them the door. 

* "Ego" meaning of the Ego used in Beyonce and Kanye West song. Webbie a  rapper has a hit single called  INDEPENDENT 

Examples used are from previous experience with my exes and watching how some of my friends have reacted with their exes. 

But I'm Not a Reader.....

Just another good read besides my blog posting :) 

Yes I did write this awesome fictional novel. "A Crooked Smile" is one of a trilogy.Family, friends, love, lies, murder, some adult content and some laughs is only the minor things that's inside this book!! Check it out!!

www.barnesandnobel.com

or

www.authorhouse.com

What Happens When The Arguments Stop?

Ahhh, the sole question on what happens when the argument stops... Well ultimately doom. No matter how long you know someone or been with them, you really don't know their thought process especially if the time together is relatively short. People who been together for a short time (doesn't matter if its in a romantic way or in a working way) don't know the other persons true thoughts, feelings, reactions, emotions and so forth. They see the glossy shinny new cover instead of the deep, damaged pages within.

When arguments become the sole base of peoples relationships whether it be with family, work, friends or boyfriend/girlfriend the truth behind the matter isn't what your arguing about. Because having the strength to argue brings emotions and lets the other know that you still care. What matters is when that other person doesn't even want to argue.

Now you don't have to argue ALL the time for this to matter, it could even be in little spurts for this to be a big deal. For instance your doing the dishes fellas and your lady comes in just yelling and nagging about nothing. Usually you'll argue back to figure out what's wrong because us women are so complex you have to ask in order to find out. Instead of asking you let her ramble and get all worked up get loud and stomp around. You continue to do the dishes and she continues to fuss. After 5 minutes or so goes by your thinking "why in the hell is she still going at it?" well that's because you are not responding. When you don't respond whether it be a hey or yell right back, she is going to think that you don't even care. Now ladies if your in this situation, he probably doesn't care. Why? Well because you do it so often it has no effect. Soon your screaming and fussiness will wear off and he will go his separate way.

Another instance, your man always wants to know the goods on you aka where are you, what your doing, who your with and who that person is and what they mean to you. Every time you say hi to another person of the opposite sex say your man asks you "you have sex with him?" or "how you know him?" At first you thought it was plain curiosity and answered. Then as time went by your thinking "damn is this how it's going to be every time?" so then you decide to flip the script, you ask him all the questions he asks you and soon he gets all pissy and starts arguments. Now fellas, don't ask questions you don't want to be asked. Truth is, some people want it their way all the time. Ladies some men don't want you to do what they do, whether it be hanging with your friends, talking to certain people or having fun without them; but when they get that chance themselves some men will take it and run. Why? It's the have your cake and eat it to innuendo. In this instance fellas, if you keep asking your lady questions but never want to answer them yourself and she STOPS answering you and starts ignoring. That is a clear sign to check things out. Why? 8 times out of 10 your lady has already checked out on the situation and probably even you.

Now say you are in the work place, and you have a co worker or even a boss who keeps nagging about a situation that Billy did last week. Say Billy spilled the coffee and didn't clean up his mess. Your co worker or boss might have gotten so mad that they reamed Billy and kept going on about it that entire day. Billy and the other person keep getting into it arguing non stop taking little jabs and trying to outshine each other at work... Can you say Tension???? Now weeks have passed by and every time Billy goes to get coffee that person always makes a remark or comes up to you and talks about him. Wouldn't that irk your nerves? The situation has escalated and now other co workers are being brought in.  In this situation the arguments have brought things to two options 1. if its a co worker that person would get fired because they can't show that they can move on from situations 2. If that was a boss you might think about finding another job because he has traits of immaturity.


After reading all that take away one thing: say what you mean and mean what you say. One argument with someone important can very well be the last.

Struggling Faith

RELIGION! 

The touchy subject that irks peoples nerves much like politics but in a touchier way. 

There's three types of people:

Saints- Your true believers, the Bible is the book to live by and nothing else. These people usually conform to one group of religion and possibly might think that all other types are insignificant to theirs i.e Christian, Baptist, Catholic and so forth.  OR what Webster says: any of certain persons of exceptional holiness of life, formally recognized as such by the Christian Church, especially by canonization.

Believers-  These group of people are the most common now a days. They believe in God or a higher power and understand that certain preaching's are real and others are kind of harsh. For example: they believe that being LGTB is not a choice verses the Bible which basically says that it is. BUT they still believe in God pray, understand but disagree. Another example, marriage is supposed to be until death does those two people apart. What if they get married and the woman or man is being physically and mentally abused on a daily basis? Divorce would seem like a GREAT way to live your life but then it is a sin.

Meh aka Atheists-  Not much to say here, they don't believe in God instead it's science or "Life just happened" way of thinking.

 Now some may argue that there are many more groups than these three, and you are RIGHT my intelligent grasshopper. These three categories are simply based on what I know and SEE on almost a daily basis. With that being said:

Which category do you fall in?

For those who know me, know that I am NOT ashamed to say what I'm about to say and share my beliefs. Growing up in a very different type of household, my mother is Catholic and my father is Baptist. Coming together they both agreed to allow us (my sister and I) choose our own religion. Both of their religions believe in God but how they go about it is completely different. Sooo!! ahem as I clear my throat and stretch my fingers, here we go into the mind of Ebony. 


What Group do I fall in? 


Meh, I can't lie, I'm a believer but not a saint and no where close to an Atheists. I believe in God, we speak to each other, I confess my sins and express my gratitude. I love him with all my heart and let him know that every day. BUT I don't agree with some things in the Bible and I don't agree with a lot of people in the Church, Divorce, being LG (not the T, because that is a choice you make to go to drastic measure to change your body or the B because that's just a confusion you want your cake and will eat it to, nothing wrong with that; but you're just confused none the less) Respect of elders and attitudes towards others. 


In a world full of hate, I would love if God could come down sometimes and straighten us out. Granted he gave us CHOICE, so what we do with the world is exactly what will come of it. God steps in in the form of our conscience and sends us angels. He's here, that little voice of reason aka that gut feeling that nagging that may represent itself in the form of our parents is God. He helps you make decisions he's there to help you choose right, you just have to trust that he will come and listen to when he does. For those other times when we need him to come down and take away our child murderers and rapists and he doesn't show; does make me mad and sad. All I can do is pray that God called upon them before whatever tragedy took it's course.  

 I don't crack open the Holy Book as much as I should and I don't single myself to a single form of religion and belief because I feel it would be unethical to me. I feel like I am a liar if I do this. Why? Well because I know what I believe, i just stated it above. I love him but some things I don't understand and don't see how it can be a sin. Do I question God? HELL NO! What he says is what he says but I do ask for understanding until that prayer is answered I will continue to be confused. 

 I can't say I'm Christian, Baptist, Catholic etc because I don't follow that life and I don't live up to the expectations. Many people ask me why don't I go to church. To be honest, Church (the building) hasn't found it's way into my heart yet. God and I have church every day. Getting help from others is def needed and at times I do but it's not consistent. 
I sin at times, I curse, think some bad thoughts and at times I wish bad on others (even though I catch myself and apologize) I drink, do some adult activities, I have tattoos, piercings, and scars. ALL of which are considered a sin because God doesn't want you to ruin his temple that he LOANED you. But I've done this anyway, did I know before hand that the tattoos and piercings were a sin?? NOPE not until AFTER The fact. But there is nothing I can do now but accept my choice and live with it.


Will I go to hell? Naw, I'm a believer and I'm sure in my due time I will find a more strict  religious path. As you live life and understand the journeys that are ahead, you're more prone to venture towards to him; I most likely am one of these people. 


A great pastor said this in one sermon: 


"Now a days people get Church confused. The church is the BODY of Christ. The BODY of Christ is us. Our TEMPLE is his BODY, our BODY is his BODY therefore we are his TEMPLE and the CHURCH is installed within us. We don't have to be in a fancy building, fine suits with tons of money to have Church. We can have it outside and STILL receive the SAME blessings! Don't let the modern world discourage you. Believe in what GOD has in YOU his CHURCH." 


So with that being said.... Religion.... it brings forth so many ideas, emotions, thoughts, feelings and in the end most people believe in God or a higher power. My thing is, just be right. Be courteous to those around you, smile, don't commit petty crimes and think with bad thoughts and act on them. Life is short, doesn't matter what or who you believe in, everyone answers to someone. 

Disagree if you may on anything in this article, we are all entitled to our own opinions. If you are offended by what I said or what I believe, sorry you think with such a narrow mind. 

Monday aka that 2:30 Feeling All Day

Here we are once again.....it's another Monday!! We all might hate this day because it's the blame for the ending of our weekend and the beginning of yet another work filled week. Not sure about you but I hit my snooze button about 20 times, and was almost very later to work :-/.... Why is that?? Mondays are the doom days and prayer for hump day to come soon enough to rescue us from this work week and bring on our weekend!!

How do you get over your Monday feeling? Sip tons of coffee? Stare at the clock? Smile and pretend like you love Mondays and are so excited to go to work!? or do you sit in your chair pout? Well fellow readers I have mastered the fine art of sleeping with your eyes open while being alert. Yes at the same time. I may be present and eyes will be wide, smile will be plastered on my face BUT some days I am checked out for a few minutes to catch up on that extra 5 minutes of sleep that I missed ( don't judge there is nothing wrong with that :D) Think of it this way, Mondays are always the longest days and seem to never want to end, BUT when it does end the rest of the week will come fast!!

Today's blog isn't about anything to important, just a WAKE UP READ for you awesome readers! Tomorrow's blog should and probably will have more to it :)

Don't Let Them Ruin Your Party

We all have those days when life is great, your job is running smooth, the fam bam is alright and your significant other is being perfectly amazing. THEN we run into that ONE person whose main purpose for the day is to be mean and an ass because they slept on the wrong side of the bed that morning.

So here you come, skipping into work saying hi, smiling, happy, you have that Friday feeling going on when SHA BAM! You're smacked in the face with that Debbie Downer co worker whose sitting at the table, playing words with friends, drinking coffee, and complaining about the sun being to bright. You try your best to stay positive and keep speaking highly and smiling, but he continues to make your day suck just because he wants to. Now that smiley party you had looks more like this ------------------------->

Being a sad pug is no fun at all! What happened to your party?? Don't let the others take that balloon blowing, helium sucking fun having feeling away!

 Here's what you do:

Tell them to talk to the hand, or you can do what I do, and pretend to listen and care but really I'm in my own world. If you haven't noticed,  it's a known fact that other people don't like to see others happy when they feel like shit. In some peoples mind the world does revolve around them, and when it doesn't they aren't so happy.  Life is to dang short to worry, stress, be sad, mad, angry whatever! Life is to short to be anything but appreciative and happy that you are alive. This is easier to say than to do. I have my times to where someone just pisses me off to the T and I want to do some really mean things! I sit and marinate on what I would like to do and say to this lovely individual, but then I quickly come to realize that their life probably sucks. Why else would someone want to poop on your parade? Happy people with something great going for them at the moment wont waste their time. BUT the ones who aren't in that position at that moment, will be more than happy to pop your balloon. 

So POO on you Party Poopers! I'd rather have a party by myself and be the happiest person ever than have a party and invite one lame that can ruin it. :) Smile 

She's So Catty!!!!!

Women, we can be caring, loving, forgiving, thoughtful and honest. Some on the other hand can be mean spiteful, deceiving and flat out bitchy.  There is always that type of female that fits in perfectly with the boys and not so well with the girls. Why? Well this type of female is usually fake and manipulative. Most honest women see through this type of chick and read her like a book. The other picks up on it and heads for the opposite sex. What better way to get in with people than to be "innocent" pretend like you mean well and smile? That is the perfect way to fit in with the fellas sometimes it can be the perfect way to fit in with other people as well. 

Take these three true stories for example, all  happened to be good friends of mine and all have gave me permission to write about it.Thanks guys :) : 

Maid of Honor vs the Bridesmaid 

A good friend of mine (Harmony) was maid of honor at her best friends wedding. We all know that this role is important and holds many challenges. Harmony is so sweet she does all that is asked and more to make sure her bff's wedding is going to be amazing! Then there is this other chick (Stacy) whose a bridesmaid but THINKS shes the maid of honor. Stacy slowly tries to creep in and take over tasks Harmony is supposed to do completely undermining her and taking credit when credit is NOT due. Soon things start to build, Harmony is being nice about the situation and respecting the fact that its her friends day. NOW its time for the wedding. Long story short the back room turned into a WWE match. Harmony and the bride ended up arguing at the wedding and Stacy was right there pointing and instigating the situations. Harmony finally opened her mouth and blurted out what's been happening. The Bride faces Stacy and asks her if this is true, (by the way I was on the couch helping the flower girl  wishing I had pop corn) Stacy confessed and said: "Well I wanna be important on your day too! Why is it about you?" Ugh sooo Stacy was eventually kicked out the wedding and out the brides life. Come to find out she was just being nice because the bridesmaid was a childhood friend and she didn't want to let her mother down. 

Experienced Worker vs Newbie

Now, here is another topic.... Say you've been in your job field for over  10 years and you know it like the back of your hand, that market, that specific job title and the people you're around. Then comes in someone who did that someplace else and believes they know best. My friend Shannon was in this position, and hearing what went down by her and her co workers about this newbie is amazing!! Check this out. The newbie comes in, tries to take Shannon's clients and spreads bad things about her through out the company. When confronted by Shannon the newbie denied every accusation. So Shannon being the bigger person let it go and kept an eye on the newbie. Soon enough the newbie was back at it again, talking to her clients, speaking with management and coming off like she is so innocent and is only trying to help. Well management see this and takes her side, talks to Shannon and tries to put her in place (without confronting and asking what's going on they assumed) Well Shannon then quit that job and soon after she was receiving calls to come back. Why? Well management found out the newbie wasn't so innocent and had backwards intentions. Oh well, their loss. 

Longtime Girlfriend vs Everyone Else 

So now we reach the tale of Anthony, a friend I've known since I was about 6 years old. He meets this girl while he was away in college and brings her back to Alaska with him. She meets the family, they like her thinks shes sweet and good for him. She meets us, his friends and we weren't so sure. We see something completely different. Instead of that innocent girl, me and a few others see someone manipulative, catty and just flat out bitchy. We don't say anything at first because this is based off feelings and assumptions. Soon a couple weeks go by and the girlfriend starts her demands, pointing and yelling. She then takes Anthony away from us guarding her man and not allowing him any type of freedom. She begins to tell him, how we don't care and talk bad about her and him behind their back. He soon begins to believe her and distance himself from us. We would call Anthony and she would answer, we would leave her messages to pass on say for events, club nights, game nights, dinners, birthdays etc and for some reason Anthony would never show. He dated her for about 5 years until he realized what she was doing and caught her in the middle of a lie that unleashed many more. Soon he broke it off and came back to his real friends. 

Despite everything no matter what situation you may be in, there is always that person who will try you and press the innocent button. In these situations the best thing to do is keep your cool and let them self destruct, much like the women mentioned in this blog. Keep your distance but at the same time be that persons best friend. It's a simple case of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.