This one was tough for me. I felt responsible in some sort of dumb way to make sure another person was good to go in life before they leave my nest. Nothing wrong with that, but when you aren't treated well and that person is selfish and lazy things change. When all of your minor requests are ignore, things change. I'm grateful for that experience and I do appreciate the time that was shared because it showed me what I want and what I don't want. What I'm willing to put up with and what I refuse to dip back into.
Let's face it, people will take advantage of you no matter what it's inevitable. The one thing I love to say is:
they might try to take advantage of you, but you don't have to let them.
We're all adults and responsible for our own actions so placing the blame on others because you allowed yourself in this situation will only harm your growth. It'll be easy for me to say that every time I go home I'm miserable and put on a fake face just to live in peace because of someone else who crashes on my couch. It'll be easy for me to blame my lack of energy because I'm exhausted from carrying all the weight because of that same person. Oh, and it'll be so easy for me to get mad at them for everything they do; despite me knowing that they'll never change.
So simple to place the blame game, but it's no ones fault but my own. I allowed that person to stay way longer than they should've with little to no contribution. I allowed that person to ruin my attitude. I allowed that person to be a poison in my life to the point where I want to cause them harm. I allowed that person the space and time to think that it's okay to be selfish, lazy and inconsiderate; because I sweep up after them with a broom and dust pan.
But I'm done.
I've gone above and beyond for someone who doesn't deserve my friendship. I've gone above and beyond for someone who hasn't broken a sweat to do the same despite seeing me drown. You know what, I don't feel guilty at all for choosing me.
<3 Ebony
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