Don't Call Me Crazy

Don't call me CRAZY.

Man have I talked about this so many times especially in the wake of Kanye West and all these senseless shootings. I believe that crazy makes someone seem childish. It makes it seem like their pain and struggles, and how they act out or have erratic behavior is egotistic and crazy. We call them all these names, we have opinions, we discredit their creativity and possible success. We take away every accomplishment and replaced it with crazy. We take away the fact that they're human and instead call them crazy. That translates to you don't matter.

From personal experience, battling my demons and doing it alone. I was told that I always had someone there, friends, family etc. So when I went to those who "loved me" I was shunned and called crazy. Even when I post great blogs about previous sadness people comment how they are "always there for me" or "you're never alone" or "I'm here!" My response is and always will be, playing saint on social media means nothing

At my peak of being crazy, I was alone because the only one I had died when we were 12 years-old. I had no one, and on plenty of occasions tried to commit suicide. When I told my sister she said that I'm crazy and that I'm stupid along with some other choice words. She had the nerve to get an attitude with me and not hear out my emotions or state of mind.  Another situation of many where I turned to "loved ones" who didn't love me. So from then on, that time in Las Vegas, I vowed to never speak intimate things with her again. I don't regret it, I never will because now I know who is there for me and I can count on them. Do you know how lonely it is to be called crazy? To not have someone take your pain seriously? Then they want to rush to your side when you try to off yourself or cry at the casket when you finally succeed with suicide.

Just because the cover of a book is in color, shinny, has great graphics and amazing font doesn't mean that the pages are glued together. The inside might fall apart once someone cares to open the book and explore it's mind.- Ebony Williams  <3

When I first started this blog, I had no idea how many lives I would touch. I had no idea that there are plenty of people out there who are just like me. Who think like me, who suffer like me, who wonder like me, who question like me and who have no idea what life is about...just like me. This blog is a safe place for those who struggle with LIFE and whatever hell it tries to throw at you. This is the judgment free zone because it's LIFE and we are not crazy. 

Even the ones who have a great  family life, are the life of the party, seem to have it all together according to social media doesn't mean that it's true. Even those who "have it all" might have nothing. Not everyone can be happy. Not everyone has lived a great life and not everyone knows about love. There are plenty of people who experience loneliness to the highest degree. There are people who have no family, or friends, no job, no house, no pet just a sidewalk to call home. There are people who scream for help without saying a word. When we turn down those people, we fail.

If you don't want to take time out of your schedule to listen to those around you when they're screaming silently for help and love. The least you can do is pray for them and help them find help. If listening isn't your strong suit then encourage them to seek counseling because you're unable to help in this situation.  Let them know that you love them and are supporting them. Also hang out with them, even if it's for five minutes or shoot a text message or make a quick phone call. The thing about those who we call crazy they just need someone to listen and understand them. They're battling demons no one knows about.

Stop calling someone crazy and instead ask "are you okay?" 

Dear Men and Dear Women...

Dear Men,
The ones who know how to be men. The ones who know how to treat people with respect. To the ones who are honest, kind, forgiving, faithful, loyal, who still open doors, offer their jackets, pump the gas, and give a nice compliment.I know you may think that what you're doing is going unnoticed, but it is not. I see you, and I appreciate you. If the one you're with or trying to court doesn't appreciate it, then they aren't the one who deserves you. Here's the thing, to all my men out there who encounter the ungrateful, rude, ignorant, vindictive woman just know that she is not the representation of all women.

Dear Women,
The ones who know how to be a lady even when you want to act up and curse someone out. The ones who don't need to be naked to get a mans attention The one who isn't rude or messy instead she is smart,confident, honest, faithful, loyal and not judgmental. To the woman who helps her fellow women succeed, instead of focusing on tearing her down. I see you, and I am very proud of you for acting with grace and dignity; in a world where reality TV is telling us to fight and hate one another. To the queens who encounter bad men, abusive ones of all types, physical, mental and emotional, just know that those men aren't a representation of all men.

Ladies and gents, we are all different and the good ones still exist. The good ones get left behind most of the time. The pure at heart ones always get walked on. The decent human begins experience some of the most ridiculous amounts of pain, and I have no idea why. The good ones, we might seem like our fairy-tale ending is never going to happen. We hold on to things that need to be let go. We might be a little defeated but there is always a way if God created will. Don't give up because you've experienced bad eggs. Don't hold the next one accountable for what the previous has done. Keep your eyes open and your hearts protected.

What I learned is, don't settle. Being in contentment is different from being in love. This was something I needed clarity on and God has shown me the definition from many experiences. Now that I know where I'm at in life, I feel so much better.  With that said Ladies and Gents my Queens and Kings you are truly appreciated and don't lose hope.

<3 Ebony

#repost

A photo posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Nov 23, 2016 at 4:10pm PST

I Prayed For This

"I prayed for this" that's what my friend Corinna said when she was reflecting on her current journey. Which is what brought me here, which is what caused me to write this blog.

Frustration
Anger
Self-doubt
Irritation
Confusion
Scared
Insecure
Useless

All those things, I feel all those things when I'm on this amazing journey that's my life. Man how do I beat myself up and I know you can relate. I look in the mirror at times and question why I'm here, why I'm doing what I do then it hits me. I have a moment with a friend who was expressing her frustration and she stopped herself to say "I have to remember that I prayed for this,I have to stay grateful."

I immediately sat back in my chair as the music plays in the studio. I miss a talk break because I'm still staring at this line that she sent me. The sounds of Drake's latest song "Fake Love" that I was rocking too are now dimmed and drowned out by the echo of "I prayed for this."

As I looked outside, the snow lightly falls down covering the cars and the parking lot. It's then that I have a flashback of being in the news room at 18 years-old for KTBY-TV Fox News. I was doing a weather story just so anxious to be on the air at a young age about to talk to the public, me, young little baby faced me! I remember smiling in that moment and saying "Thank you God for showing me what you want me to do." I was grateful.

I snapped back to reality questioning why in the hell I wore what I did, I remembered the beginning of my journey, I went back to the VERY FIRST DAY that changed my life. I smiled, let a tear come down my face then I quickly wiped it away. I had to apologize to God and I thought I would share my prayer with you. For at any moment you find yourself a little ungrateful or feeling any of the emotions that I felt above just pray.

My God, 

I'm so sorry. You've taken the time to wake me up despite my ungrateful attitude.

You've given me another chance to make the most out of my life when others cannot and yet I have the audacity to complain? Where? How? Why? I'm a brat and spoiled because of how amazing you are and for that I failed to see where I am, how I got there and why. It's easy now to realize that the where, how and why are because of you. This is why you place great people in my life, without that talk with Corinna I would still be a jerk right now. Instead I see, and thank you for her and those like her that bless this world. My God I ask for forgiveness and thank you for that flash back. Thank you for the reminder of what I went through and where I was and why I'm here. despite what I feel, you will always have my back. Thank you Lord. 

in Jesus name I pray 

Amen 

<3 Ebony 

Election & My Thoughts

I went to sleep before they announced who was our new president. I put my phone on vibrate and do not disturb because I already knew the outcome.

Am I surprised that he won? No
Am I upset that he won? No
Am I scared that he won? No
Am I sad that he won? No.

I'm none of those things instead, I expected him to win. When I first saw that the KKK endorsed Donald Trump, I knew he was going to win and here's why. Despite what people think, racism didn't go anywhere; and this election brought out some of the best of them all around the country and on social media.

I'm not even disappointed by the people I know, I never am when it comes to politics. To me, "Make America Great Again" means giving it back to it's native people, the REAL AMERICANS the NATIVE AMERICANS. Anyone else and everyone else is an immigrant.

As a person, what I will NOT do, is treat Donald Trump like how most of the racist jerks that live in this country have treated President Obama. I will not degrade him, talk negative about him or his family, I will not question his birth place, I will not have an opinion on his decisions based on his skin color. I will not make dolls and hang them from a tree, I will not call him out side of his name, I will not be rude, vile and such a disgusting person because I have no idea what it means to love. I WILL NOT be like the majority of this country, because:

I am better than that. Most of us are better than that.

God uses people. I think that he used this election to bring us closer to him; too depend on him and trust in HIM. Because in him "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13.

<3 Ebony

Dear Someone

Dear Someone,

Who likes to hide behind their social media accounts, falsely created for your own protection. To this someone who likes to say mean things to people they do not know, never met and will most likely have a different tune if they were to meet in person. To this someone who has the audacity to attack another human beings character, art, craft and talents. To this someone who chooses a time of day to speak negative when it's a highlight for positiveness . To this someone who has nothing else to do but troll on others who are being positive, trying to live happy and believe that there's good in others out there.

Thank You.

Thank you for being rude, mean, negative a nightmare to be around and or read responses from.

Thank You.

Thank you for still following my path and hating on it every step of the way. Because even though you spew hate, you are still making me relevant. Even though you take time to criticize me you are still talking about me to your friends who will most likely end up liking me. Lastly, even though you are so mean to someone you have never met, I can't help but feel sorry for you.

At first I was bothered and then I quickly remember that people like you have nothing else in life. So if I'm that one for you, to where you channel all your negative energy, then so be it. Just know that it doesn't bother me; which ultimately might bother you more. Oh well, can't help that now can I?

There is obviously something deep down that is hurting you. I believe that you are insecure and don't like others who are on a path to greatness and want to try and shit on it. Because of these things, I feel sad for you. I hope that you can find something or someone meaningful to help give your life purpose. I hope that your crooked heart can be changed and that God can work wonders so that you're darkness can see some light.

 But like my friend Corinna says "You can go dwell in the dark and make mushrooms with your shitty ass."

<3 Ebony