UGH! Damn You Disney!!!

From the time we were born and watched our little Disney movies, most girls want that princess wedding and have our prince rescue us. Becoming that Snow White, Sleeping Beauty or Bell from Beauty and The Beast is what most girls wanted to grow up as. And forget about it if our parents bought us the matching little costume dresses! After that we were guaranteed certified princesses! But then we grow up, and our choice of princes' are rare and filled with boys who wanna touch boobs and be sticky and gross. Then those boys grow  into the teenage phase were they find out their thing a lang raises and then become promiscuous. Then we have to wait a LONG LONG time for our prince to actually mature into the man we have always dreamed about. What happens when we reach this point? Well all our years of waiting have turned us towards a disbelief lifestyle. AKA all guys are douche bags stage.

Confused a little guys? Well let me explain. After all those years of being filled with false hopes of singing animals, handsome princes, and evil step sisters. We have counted on those movies to be true until we are grown up enough to realize its a bunch of mumbo jumbo.  

Ladies go through the phase of always wanting a mate and we have that mindset that we can be with one forever, but guys don't feel that way when they are young. Young means exactly that young and fun! So we will do what we do, party, chill with our boys and hit on girls. Whats wrong with that? To a girl it's all wrong, princes don't do that. and THAT'S WHERE WE ARE MESSED UP! THANK YOU PRINCESS MOVIES! 

Eventually we find our prince and become that princess but when we reach this stage there comes many battles. Both sexes are grown enough to know and understand what it takes to be with someone, but the real trick is holding on and learning that someone. You go through your honey moon stage were it's all lovey dovey, kisses, cute text messages and long night phone calls. All seems so peachy for the first couple months, then you hit around the 4th or 5th month and that's when shit gets real! You have to now begin to think if this person is worth spending more months, even years and possibly forever with. Some ladies can know this within the first couple months and some guys need more time to find that out and take it day by day. Why? Well that's how they think and to be honest I wouldn't mind being able to think this way. 

Then you hit the awkward kinda jealous over looking stage. Were we begin pay attention to the little things and make note. We notice who your female/male friends are and how much they try to talk to you (note guys: even if you tell us about a female friend we may forget a name, but we never forget a face, body language or conversation; and 9 times out of 10 that will be brought up in a conversation). This little stage can make or break people, some might think the other is being overbearing and jealous; when in reality the other person just wants to know who that female or male is, and what purpose they have in your life. Some go as far as telling the other person : "Umm they need to chill out, or they need to step back" If this is said or felt, ladies and gents don't get iffy, just think about it. Would you want another person coming all up in your business and having the possibility to ruin your relationship? This stage can last a matter of months to even years! Before all of this is sorted out. Not only do you have to figure out who other people are to you, you also weed through your friends and see which are poisonous to you and your relationship, you have to fight off and set others straight(as in whose crushing on you) and then you have to see if your mate fits into your family.  So don't get it wrong, this stage is a long process, and this process allows the two people to see if it's really worth it AKA the GROWTH PHASE.

IF you make it through that stage then you truly begin to learn and understand that person. All that time spent and talking builds allowing that bond to get stronger. That level of understanding is at an high that can only go up. At this point you set the exes straight, you kept your friends opinions out and you keep your relationship between the two of you. What now? Weill you grow and you wait to see where life's headed. You understand now not to assume and know it's open to speak with your partner about whats ahead, your fears, your faults and what bothers you. After all that you may even fall in love. Marriage? Well not necessarily, relationships are a life long process and commitment. Sometimes people grow apart despite being together for years.They may have become the best of friends but have fallen out of love. Is this bad? No at least you knew what it felt like and you are aware of what to do in the next relationship.  But since we are keeping things on the optimistic side, lets just say you fight long and hard, and you get married and it's finally your ever after. :) 

I'm definitely not a love guru or anything, just an observation. I've been around and still am around happy couples, who have been together for years and I mean decades. Some are married and some are not, does one relationship mean they love each other more? NO it  just means that works for them. Not everyone is going to be married or think its a way to go. Love is a beautiful thing, and WHEN you find it appreciate it. This blog was inspired by the ones around me, speaking knowledge and filling my head with truth as well as personal experience from my past and current relationship. 

Teamwork OR Every Man For Himself ?

I find this to be fun and useful. Many places and people say lets come together and all will be ok!! So for fresh minds walking into a situation, this might sound great! Yes I am around positive people. Yes this place really does value other people and their opinions without judgement.  I finally found a secure place to sink my feet in. Whether it be about work, school, friends, or new people teamwork is essential for all. 

What happens when you join a team and all of a sudden that team work starts to look a little more like this Picture---------------->

Soon pieces of the puzzle are broken off. This could be from days to months to even years before people start to fall off.

 Why is that?

Sometimes when you get a group of people together with a bunch of opinions and attitudes things start to clash. That teamwork that was so highly talked about and praised soon turns into something like this---->

Ah the blame game! Aka when you or someone else doesn't agree on one thing, so you just randomly pick and when all goes wrong! One of you blames the other because it was their idea in the first place.  Then that team goes up in smoke and you start to do it all by your lonesome. 

How do you get back to that teamwork stage? 

Well just sit back, sometimes shut up, don't jump to conclusions, admit when you're wrong, and most importantly help one another. When you blame others, come off wrong, or assume you know something when in the end you don't YOU WILL break that team apart. It only takes ONE person to ruin everything. Whether your a manager, a friend, or a school teacher etc, when you scold someone else without knowing the facts; you really do seem well dumb. KNOW what you're talking about, HELP when needed keep your temper calm and don't make slick idle threats. When you tell a someone this is their last shot, or you have one more time, or even we will be watching you closer, why did you do this instead of that blah blah blah ;  that will not only drive them away from you, it will also make them not care about the situation at hand.  No one wants to hear the bad all the time with no mixture of good. It's all about presentation. 

Words are a key to success, communication is a definite when working with anyone in any circumstance. When you communicate you understand, then you're able to see that you aren't all the same, yes you have different opinions, your minds do in fact think differently and you all may see something different as well. When you SPEAK on that, you allow that relationship to grow. Keep an open mind and stop judging. It's so easy for people to say but A LOT harder to do.  

Help build that bridge again and you'll be smiling in the end. 

Worry Wart or People Pleaser?

Yeah... This is what eventually happens when you try to please everyone! 

Happy Monday!!!!  Here we are again, after hopefully having a great weekend we are all back at work, in class etc. Staring at the calendar I can't help but be glad to see there are only 4 more days until my love (FRIDAY) is back in my life! So what comes of working and school and family/friends to a person who has it set in their mind that they have to please, smile and be happy all the time for people??? Well look at the picture above!

Hello my Worry Warts! My People Pleasers!! How are you doing today? One of my friends is a people pleaser she admits that she has this weakness for people and trying to make them happy and do every task that is given or even brought to her. Yes she could say NO but like many of you out there you don't want to say NO. Some of you (much like my lovely friend) don't like to disappoint people and tend to take on much more than you should.

I can't lie, I USED to do that and it drove me insane!! I used to be that way, tried to be perfect and live up to peoples expectations and standards. Then I came to the conclusion: "Why aren't they living up to their standards of how I perceive them? Why is it just one sided?" Noticing that people call when I'm needed and think that I am available 24/7 to help was the biggest mistake I could have ever done in m life, not just with friends/family but also professionally.

With family and friends, we tend to get taken advantage of because they already deem you as that type they can always count on and will never say no. Then as for a job they called on me all the time because I helped once; and helping in that one situation made them believe I can help in ALL situations like it; despite how busy I am and what I'm  doing. Then when it came time for me to call on my  co-workers  and ask for help in a situation they were no where to be found until Monday morning.  What do I do? That's all I kept thinking, then I treated those people like they do me. My work I kept professional, didn't converse on personal issues and when they called after hours or on weekends, I answered but said "no, I'm preoccupied sorry" and when I was able to help I did go in, but kept it at a minimum. They can use the 10-20 other people in the business to help in those hours, mine are strictly 8-5p Mon-Fri. My family and friends well I just told them off and everything is ok, they apologized and life is good.

Standards, you have to have them, don't just allow other people to hold you up to theirs, make sure to hold others up to yours also. If  you have a  fear of letting someone down, get over that. You are a human being not a robot or some character in a Hollywood movie. It's ok to say no when you have to much on your plate and it's ok to say yes if you honestly feel like you can do that task to the best of your ability. Be conscious on what you do, have timing, and know your schedule and have a back bone. Regardless of what you do, people are always going to have their thoughts good an bad despite your work ethic.

So my loves stop over doing it, stress is an ugly thing and we have to try our best to not allow ourselves to be placed in those situations. I know it's tough, I've been recently in stressful situations but I look at the bright side of things and ultimately feel sorry for some people who try to stress me out and/or make me worry about situations that I could careless about. I'm very busy so to allow a single person to have that type of effect on me, isn't worth my health and time..

Breathe 

Beautiful Alaska

See Alaska and I... we have this love hate type of relationship, winter time we seem to do nothing but fight and bicker but when the so sweet summer comes my way, I can't help but fall right back in love.  You see people complain about Alaska and say " isn't there snow 24/7?" "do you have a pet polar bear?"  OR now my recent favorite, "what's Sara Palin really like??"  People make me laugh with the things they really believe goes on here. So to answer these questions " no there is not snow 24/7" and "no I don't own a polar bear he was shot down for protecting our pet penguins" and "I have no idea how Sara Palin really is, never met her."

Many people from Alaska get irritated by the simple questions and I have to keep reminding people that I know and myself at times, don't blame them for what they know; it's not like  education on how Alaska really is, is being taught. I mean I've lived here all my life and in high school my senior year I had to take Alaska studies, and passed with flying colors!!!! (Found that class to be quite insulting)

Alaska has your winters, falls, springs, and summers that will melt your heart and make you  fall in love with the scenery. I love every other season and winters on occasion (mainly on Christmas and New Years Eve) :D
When I travel out of state and show my ID, people stare at it for a good minute or so. In my mind I'm preparing myself to hear whatever outlandish questions they may want to ask; 9 times out of 10 the questions make me giggle.

One time in Seattle aka my second home, this cab driver asked me "if there really are 30 days of night like the movie and do vampires really come out???" This cashier at Macy's asked me: "there really are black people in Alaska?" then as I walk into a bar with my lovely sister buy a drink the bar tender asks: "are you in witness protection? I mean why else would you be there?"

Sigh**** I love it all in all. The things others come up with are always fresh and new it makes me appreciate how I was brought up.

Anywho today will be reaching in the mid 70's and the sun is blazing outside, soon as it's time to get off work I will be MIA  getting lost in the AK weather with the bf. You guy have a fantastic weekend!!!!!

Freedom Of Choice

My boyfriend was watching this show that kept him up late last night. It was about love and the freedom to choose. It went around following different stories and blurting out facts. Apparently the people who are in prearranged  marriages, are the ones who have the highest success rate. The program went on to say countries like Kenya, India etc that have prearranged marriages last for a long time if not a life time.

Why is that?

My opinion is because for some countries that recommend or demand that type of life, makes people work through the tough times. Learn to love the other person for ALL their faults and keep at it. Unlike here in the U.S. we have the free will to leave a person at any moment in time. With this option, I think is why our divorce rate is so high. We allow ourselves the possibility of not having a forever and when situations get really tough many people run instead of fighting through the tough long storm.

I've met this student from India she had a prearranged marriage and was set to marry at 16 years old from India. She was auctioned off when she was a kid by her parents who would come into a large lump sum of money if they agreed; and being in their position they took that chance. I'll always remember speaking with her, here is one of our last conversations:

"So how was it? Growing up knowing you don't have that choice to choose and it's already planned?"

"Well in my country it wasn't a big deal, and that's how we grew up" her accent is so thick I loved every moment of it. "Yes 16 is pretty young, we are 21 now, and I must admit we are more in love than ever. In a couple years we'll probably have kids and change a little of our countries rules." she giggled and turned to the side

"What do you mean by changing the rules?" I asked

"Well prearranged marriages are great because it's one less hassle with the billions of people in the world. Being in it makes you love someone and grow to love them. Most of my friends back home really do love their wives and husbands and my other friends say they found a best friend. Now they might not be drastically in love with them, but it's love and it's better than being lonely. As for our kids I would like them to choose, if they want a prearranged marriage or to pick themselves."

I have some family members from India and other countries that do follow these guidelines so hearing what she thought intrigued me and let me inside those of my cousins and family I've never met. She went on to say:

"See here in America, it is beautiful they say the land of the free. But it's only free to those who have pale skin. For us foreigners it's less than free. It's amazing how a country can speak on such things when they don't practice what they stand for. How free can you be knowing that the people who run this country are the true immigrants. This wasn't white mans land they just took it over by force and they keep doing so because now there are to many to stop. Americas' want you to believe you are free, but in reality you're only as free as they let you. I loved going to school here, learning and seeing your kind be. Even though in parts of my country they don't like women and respect us, I'd rather be there than here." 


Confusing me a little I asked her why be some place to where you know they don't value you?


She said: "Because it's in front of your face and not being your back. This country is sneaky and will turn it's back on it's own kind while smiling, mine will let you know regardless." 


We hugged and I went to my Psychology class as she waited for the bus. Her words will always be fresh in my mind even 3 years later. I know she's probably back in India by now, I wish we would've kept in contact. But what she taught me in a matter of 20 minutes was more knowledge than I've ever received in a class room. 

Freedom of Choice, it's yours to pick what dreams and goals you'll achieve, who you will love forever, what job you'll take, and how you turn out is all freedom of choice. For some people it's not free it's predestined; from talking with her a good majority like these customs.

Since we don't have it this way, we have to fend for ourselves and pick and pray we chose right. I have my freedom and we as people have the right to do, say, write, think, believe, feel and act as  we please. Someone can have an opinion on it and think something of it, and I wont be mad, you're entitled to your opinion. But for me, I'm entitled to do as I want and will continue this way because it's my custom and what I know.Being threatened by man and put into ultimatums will not work well for me or others like me. It will only back fire to those who spit those words. It's my freedom,my constitutional right, my right as a person to do so. Take you're freedom, whether it be with love or options; it's up to you. Just remember others don't have that freedom.




What's Your Freedom?

Thanks babe :)