Wednesday, August 10, 2016

MY RESPONSE TO : Why Only Married Men Want to Date Me

I came across this article on Huffington Post written by Brenda Mejia titled: Why Only Married Men Want to Date Me. The original version before she edited it shared how she dated more than one married man now this new revised article shares how she's trying to band women together. Notice when you scroll down to read the comments how the women are angry and mention parts of the article that are no longer available, they aren't crazy readers, they are expressing feelings based off of what was originally written before it was redone. I for one, wrote this response to the ORIGINAL article. 

Took me a while to read this because it's horribly written, and all I could think about was where's the editor? 

On another note, anyone willing to date a married person, man or woman; is someone that needs help. You aren't the only one in the world that's been cheated on, welcome to the club that might hold every person in the universe. To also say it's hard to date because you're a bigger woman, is a diss to all the other fuller women who date perfectly fine. It's not about your size, if someone isn't attracted to you then they aren't the one for you. Here's what bothers me, to be a person who seems to be happy to share that she dates married men is disturbing.

Like you Brenda, to speak from personal experience, I've been approached by plenty of men on social media and in person who are single and married. The beautiful thing about social media is that it connects us to many people across the globe. It's never crossed my mind to go out with someone on twitter just because they've asked, this lets me know that being asked out doesn't happen often for you. Once you found out that this man was married, you continued to date him and try your hand at other women's men, this time knowing their marital status. Then to mention that you don't feel bad about it because you aren't the only one that acted on it? The lack of compassion and sympathy that you mildly express for other people is truly sad. I wonder, has it ever crossed your mind that married men don't want to "date" you instead they want to sleep with you? Also, none of those men left their wives for you, so I imagine that stung a little right? 

This world is tough, and because of social media and the access that it does give us is a blessing and a curse. How you handle being accessed is a different story. You can never be filled by being with a married person because they are not vowed to you, that marriage was not blessed for you, that unity didn't have you in it at the alter and should've never gotten to the point where you were allowed in it. The first one I understand you knew nothing about it, okay that's fine; but for the ones after that to know it and still go for it is not fine. You aren't a peacemaker, you aren't some type of angel that fell from the heavens to help women realize their men aren't perfect, instead you're someone who wants love and needs it so she seeks it from anyone. But Brenda, in order to get that love, have that interest and hopefully find someone to marry you...... first starts with YOU.

Building yourself up to be the best person you can be for yourself will attract the right person. When you're broken and so wounded it brings the pigs and assholes towards you at a rapid pace. I have no idea why it's like scum bags can smell defeat and insecurities a mile away and they prey on people who are satisfied with anything; much like what you're accomplishing by dealing with married men. Fix your heart then maybe someone who's deserving will cherish it properly when the time comes.

I truly hope you find your self-worth, build your self-confidence and believe in yourself soon. Dating married people only causes harm to those involved in more ways than one if you're religious read up on that in the Bible; I'll help you out with some chapters read up in 1 Corinthians and Hebrew chapter 13, and if you're not religious just think of morals and self-respect. I also found it comical that you had the audacity to give advice. Ladies, please don't read this article written by a woman who cannot keep a man or find her own. She's like that single friend who will ruin your relationship so you can be just as miserable as her. 

8 comments:

Ashley (a new fan of yours) said...

I was a lucky reader to see this article before it was edited. Brenda Mejia was so proud of what she had done while being with these married men. I found it funny that she edited the article ...edited as in TAKE EVERYTHING OUT and replace it with that crap that is now posted. It makes her less credible and Huffington Post should be ashamed to have her as a writer

Michelle said...

Her original piece was a joke! I came here after someone posted a link to your website in her comments. Great post!

Anonymous said...

Her new article was great! Until I read the comments and noticed that this is not what she had originally published. It's truly disturbing to know that HP would allow that to happen. Allow someone to write a story and when "editing" change out the ENTIRE story, where is the honesty?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this. I am a woman who dated a married man, it was the worse decision of my life. I was looking for something that in the end made me even more lonely than before. It took a while but I got it together, now I'm a married woman who prays and worries that my husband wont be easily smitten by another woman, another woman that I once was.

Karen said...

Kick ass reply!

Anonymous said...

I understand that every marriage is different and during times of struggle one might think about cheating because they are no longer satisfied. However, if more people had self respect to not engage or entertain a married person that would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people like Brenda who are so broken they don't care.

Anonymous said...

I'm a married man, and I cheated on my wife a couple of times. I admit it wasn't because my marriage was lacking something, it was just because I wanted to have sex with someone else. Honestly looking at Brenda, I would try to have sex with her because no one would believe it. Not being rude, just honest. Her first article was sad to read, made me relive that life I had of insecurities. I'm glad I haven't cheated on my wife since, I truly treasure her now.

Anonymous said...

I went on a date with a man, he was so great! After 6 months in and I feel for him I found out he was married and I was devastated! I immediately cut him off! 6 months and then nothing! I do NOT deal with married men I was hurt. They lived on opposite sides of the country for part of the year so that's why I had no idea. He divorced her about 6 years later and tried to get back with me, I now have a restraining order against him.