What Happens When The Arguments Stop?

Ahhh, the sole question on what happens when the argument stops... Well ultimately doom. No matter how long you know someone or been with them, you really don't know their thought process especially if the time together is relatively short. People who been together for a short time (doesn't matter if its in a romantic way or in a working way) don't know the other persons true thoughts, feelings, reactions, emotions and so forth. They see the glossy shinny new cover instead of the deep, damaged pages within.

When arguments become the sole base of peoples relationships whether it be with family, work, friends or boyfriend/girlfriend the truth behind the matter isn't what your arguing about. Because having the strength to argue brings emotions and lets the other know that you still care. What matters is when that other person doesn't even want to argue.

Now you don't have to argue ALL the time for this to matter, it could even be in little spurts for this to be a big deal. For instance your doing the dishes fellas and your lady comes in just yelling and nagging about nothing. Usually you'll argue back to figure out what's wrong because us women are so complex you have to ask in order to find out. Instead of asking you let her ramble and get all worked up get loud and stomp around. You continue to do the dishes and she continues to fuss. After 5 minutes or so goes by your thinking "why in the hell is she still going at it?" well that's because you are not responding. When you don't respond whether it be a hey or yell right back, she is going to think that you don't even care. Now ladies if your in this situation, he probably doesn't care. Why? Well because you do it so often it has no effect. Soon your screaming and fussiness will wear off and he will go his separate way.

Another instance, your man always wants to know the goods on you aka where are you, what your doing, who your with and who that person is and what they mean to you. Every time you say hi to another person of the opposite sex say your man asks you "you have sex with him?" or "how you know him?" At first you thought it was plain curiosity and answered. Then as time went by your thinking "damn is this how it's going to be every time?" so then you decide to flip the script, you ask him all the questions he asks you and soon he gets all pissy and starts arguments. Now fellas, don't ask questions you don't want to be asked. Truth is, some people want it their way all the time. Ladies some men don't want you to do what they do, whether it be hanging with your friends, talking to certain people or having fun without them; but when they get that chance themselves some men will take it and run. Why? It's the have your cake and eat it to innuendo. In this instance fellas, if you keep asking your lady questions but never want to answer them yourself and she STOPS answering you and starts ignoring. That is a clear sign to check things out. Why? 8 times out of 10 your lady has already checked out on the situation and probably even you.

Now say you are in the work place, and you have a co worker or even a boss who keeps nagging about a situation that Billy did last week. Say Billy spilled the coffee and didn't clean up his mess. Your co worker or boss might have gotten so mad that they reamed Billy and kept going on about it that entire day. Billy and the other person keep getting into it arguing non stop taking little jabs and trying to outshine each other at work... Can you say Tension???? Now weeks have passed by and every time Billy goes to get coffee that person always makes a remark or comes up to you and talks about him. Wouldn't that irk your nerves? The situation has escalated and now other co workers are being brought in.  In this situation the arguments have brought things to two options 1. if its a co worker that person would get fired because they can't show that they can move on from situations 2. If that was a boss you might think about finding another job because he has traits of immaturity.


After reading all that take away one thing: say what you mean and mean what you say. One argument with someone important can very well be the last.

Struggling Faith

RELIGION! 

The touchy subject that irks peoples nerves much like politics but in a touchier way. 

There's three types of people:

Saints- Your true believers, the Bible is the book to live by and nothing else. These people usually conform to one group of religion and possibly might think that all other types are insignificant to theirs i.e Christian, Baptist, Catholic and so forth.  OR what Webster says: any of certain persons of exceptional holiness of life, formally recognized as such by the Christian Church, especially by canonization.

Believers-  These group of people are the most common now a days. They believe in God or a higher power and understand that certain preaching's are real and others are kind of harsh. For example: they believe that being LGTB is not a choice verses the Bible which basically says that it is. BUT they still believe in God pray, understand but disagree. Another example, marriage is supposed to be until death does those two people apart. What if they get married and the woman or man is being physically and mentally abused on a daily basis? Divorce would seem like a GREAT way to live your life but then it is a sin.

Meh aka Atheists-  Not much to say here, they don't believe in God instead it's science or "Life just happened" way of thinking.

 Now some may argue that there are many more groups than these three, and you are RIGHT my intelligent grasshopper. These three categories are simply based on what I know and SEE on almost a daily basis. With that being said:

Which category do you fall in?

For those who know me, know that I am NOT ashamed to say what I'm about to say and share my beliefs. Growing up in a very different type of household, my mother is Catholic and my father is Baptist. Coming together they both agreed to allow us (my sister and I) choose our own religion. Both of their religions believe in God but how they go about it is completely different. Sooo!! ahem as I clear my throat and stretch my fingers, here we go into the mind of Ebony. 


What Group do I fall in? 


Meh, I can't lie, I'm a believer but not a saint and no where close to an Atheists. I believe in God, we speak to each other, I confess my sins and express my gratitude. I love him with all my heart and let him know that every day. BUT I don't agree with some things in the Bible and I don't agree with a lot of people in the Church, Divorce, being LG (not the T, because that is a choice you make to go to drastic measure to change your body or the B because that's just a confusion you want your cake and will eat it to, nothing wrong with that; but you're just confused none the less) Respect of elders and attitudes towards others. 


In a world full of hate, I would love if God could come down sometimes and straighten us out. Granted he gave us CHOICE, so what we do with the world is exactly what will come of it. God steps in in the form of our conscience and sends us angels. He's here, that little voice of reason aka that gut feeling that nagging that may represent itself in the form of our parents is God. He helps you make decisions he's there to help you choose right, you just have to trust that he will come and listen to when he does. For those other times when we need him to come down and take away our child murderers and rapists and he doesn't show; does make me mad and sad. All I can do is pray that God called upon them before whatever tragedy took it's course.  

 I don't crack open the Holy Book as much as I should and I don't single myself to a single form of religion and belief because I feel it would be unethical to me. I feel like I am a liar if I do this. Why? Well because I know what I believe, i just stated it above. I love him but some things I don't understand and don't see how it can be a sin. Do I question God? HELL NO! What he says is what he says but I do ask for understanding until that prayer is answered I will continue to be confused. 

 I can't say I'm Christian, Baptist, Catholic etc because I don't follow that life and I don't live up to the expectations. Many people ask me why don't I go to church. To be honest, Church (the building) hasn't found it's way into my heart yet. God and I have church every day. Getting help from others is def needed and at times I do but it's not consistent. 
I sin at times, I curse, think some bad thoughts and at times I wish bad on others (even though I catch myself and apologize) I drink, do some adult activities, I have tattoos, piercings, and scars. ALL of which are considered a sin because God doesn't want you to ruin his temple that he LOANED you. But I've done this anyway, did I know before hand that the tattoos and piercings were a sin?? NOPE not until AFTER The fact. But there is nothing I can do now but accept my choice and live with it.


Will I go to hell? Naw, I'm a believer and I'm sure in my due time I will find a more strict  religious path. As you live life and understand the journeys that are ahead, you're more prone to venture towards to him; I most likely am one of these people. 


A great pastor said this in one sermon: 


"Now a days people get Church confused. The church is the BODY of Christ. The BODY of Christ is us. Our TEMPLE is his BODY, our BODY is his BODY therefore we are his TEMPLE and the CHURCH is installed within us. We don't have to be in a fancy building, fine suits with tons of money to have Church. We can have it outside and STILL receive the SAME blessings! Don't let the modern world discourage you. Believe in what GOD has in YOU his CHURCH." 


So with that being said.... Religion.... it brings forth so many ideas, emotions, thoughts, feelings and in the end most people believe in God or a higher power. My thing is, just be right. Be courteous to those around you, smile, don't commit petty crimes and think with bad thoughts and act on them. Life is short, doesn't matter what or who you believe in, everyone answers to someone. 

Disagree if you may on anything in this article, we are all entitled to our own opinions. If you are offended by what I said or what I believe, sorry you think with such a narrow mind. 

Monday aka that 2:30 Feeling All Day

Here we are once again.....it's another Monday!! We all might hate this day because it's the blame for the ending of our weekend and the beginning of yet another work filled week. Not sure about you but I hit my snooze button about 20 times, and was almost very later to work :-/.... Why is that?? Mondays are the doom days and prayer for hump day to come soon enough to rescue us from this work week and bring on our weekend!!

How do you get over your Monday feeling? Sip tons of coffee? Stare at the clock? Smile and pretend like you love Mondays and are so excited to go to work!? or do you sit in your chair pout? Well fellow readers I have mastered the fine art of sleeping with your eyes open while being alert. Yes at the same time. I may be present and eyes will be wide, smile will be plastered on my face BUT some days I am checked out for a few minutes to catch up on that extra 5 minutes of sleep that I missed ( don't judge there is nothing wrong with that :D) Think of it this way, Mondays are always the longest days and seem to never want to end, BUT when it does end the rest of the week will come fast!!

Today's blog isn't about anything to important, just a WAKE UP READ for you awesome readers! Tomorrow's blog should and probably will have more to it :)

Don't Let Them Ruin Your Party

We all have those days when life is great, your job is running smooth, the fam bam is alright and your significant other is being perfectly amazing. THEN we run into that ONE person whose main purpose for the day is to be mean and an ass because they slept on the wrong side of the bed that morning.

So here you come, skipping into work saying hi, smiling, happy, you have that Friday feeling going on when SHA BAM! You're smacked in the face with that Debbie Downer co worker whose sitting at the table, playing words with friends, drinking coffee, and complaining about the sun being to bright. You try your best to stay positive and keep speaking highly and smiling, but he continues to make your day suck just because he wants to. Now that smiley party you had looks more like this ------------------------->

Being a sad pug is no fun at all! What happened to your party?? Don't let the others take that balloon blowing, helium sucking fun having feeling away!

 Here's what you do:

Tell them to talk to the hand, or you can do what I do, and pretend to listen and care but really I'm in my own world. If you haven't noticed,  it's a known fact that other people don't like to see others happy when they feel like shit. In some peoples mind the world does revolve around them, and when it doesn't they aren't so happy.  Life is to dang short to worry, stress, be sad, mad, angry whatever! Life is to short to be anything but appreciative and happy that you are alive. This is easier to say than to do. I have my times to where someone just pisses me off to the T and I want to do some really mean things! I sit and marinate on what I would like to do and say to this lovely individual, but then I quickly come to realize that their life probably sucks. Why else would someone want to poop on your parade? Happy people with something great going for them at the moment wont waste their time. BUT the ones who aren't in that position at that moment, will be more than happy to pop your balloon. 

So POO on you Party Poopers! I'd rather have a party by myself and be the happiest person ever than have a party and invite one lame that can ruin it. :) Smile 

She's So Catty!!!!!

Women, we can be caring, loving, forgiving, thoughtful and honest. Some on the other hand can be mean spiteful, deceiving and flat out bitchy.  There is always that type of female that fits in perfectly with the boys and not so well with the girls. Why? Well this type of female is usually fake and manipulative. Most honest women see through this type of chick and read her like a book. The other picks up on it and heads for the opposite sex. What better way to get in with people than to be "innocent" pretend like you mean well and smile? That is the perfect way to fit in with the fellas sometimes it can be the perfect way to fit in with other people as well. 

Take these three true stories for example, all  happened to be good friends of mine and all have gave me permission to write about it.Thanks guys :) : 

Maid of Honor vs the Bridesmaid 

A good friend of mine (Harmony) was maid of honor at her best friends wedding. We all know that this role is important and holds many challenges. Harmony is so sweet she does all that is asked and more to make sure her bff's wedding is going to be amazing! Then there is this other chick (Stacy) whose a bridesmaid but THINKS shes the maid of honor. Stacy slowly tries to creep in and take over tasks Harmony is supposed to do completely undermining her and taking credit when credit is NOT due. Soon things start to build, Harmony is being nice about the situation and respecting the fact that its her friends day. NOW its time for the wedding. Long story short the back room turned into a WWE match. Harmony and the bride ended up arguing at the wedding and Stacy was right there pointing and instigating the situations. Harmony finally opened her mouth and blurted out what's been happening. The Bride faces Stacy and asks her if this is true, (by the way I was on the couch helping the flower girl  wishing I had pop corn) Stacy confessed and said: "Well I wanna be important on your day too! Why is it about you?" Ugh sooo Stacy was eventually kicked out the wedding and out the brides life. Come to find out she was just being nice because the bridesmaid was a childhood friend and she didn't want to let her mother down. 

Experienced Worker vs Newbie

Now, here is another topic.... Say you've been in your job field for over  10 years and you know it like the back of your hand, that market, that specific job title and the people you're around. Then comes in someone who did that someplace else and believes they know best. My friend Shannon was in this position, and hearing what went down by her and her co workers about this newbie is amazing!! Check this out. The newbie comes in, tries to take Shannon's clients and spreads bad things about her through out the company. When confronted by Shannon the newbie denied every accusation. So Shannon being the bigger person let it go and kept an eye on the newbie. Soon enough the newbie was back at it again, talking to her clients, speaking with management and coming off like she is so innocent and is only trying to help. Well management see this and takes her side, talks to Shannon and tries to put her in place (without confronting and asking what's going on they assumed) Well Shannon then quit that job and soon after she was receiving calls to come back. Why? Well management found out the newbie wasn't so innocent and had backwards intentions. Oh well, their loss. 

Longtime Girlfriend vs Everyone Else 

So now we reach the tale of Anthony, a friend I've known since I was about 6 years old. He meets this girl while he was away in college and brings her back to Alaska with him. She meets the family, they like her thinks shes sweet and good for him. She meets us, his friends and we weren't so sure. We see something completely different. Instead of that innocent girl, me and a few others see someone manipulative, catty and just flat out bitchy. We don't say anything at first because this is based off feelings and assumptions. Soon a couple weeks go by and the girlfriend starts her demands, pointing and yelling. She then takes Anthony away from us guarding her man and not allowing him any type of freedom. She begins to tell him, how we don't care and talk bad about her and him behind their back. He soon begins to believe her and distance himself from us. We would call Anthony and she would answer, we would leave her messages to pass on say for events, club nights, game nights, dinners, birthdays etc and for some reason Anthony would never show. He dated her for about 5 years until he realized what she was doing and caught her in the middle of a lie that unleashed many more. Soon he broke it off and came back to his real friends. 

Despite everything no matter what situation you may be in, there is always that person who will try you and press the innocent button. In these situations the best thing to do is keep your cool and let them self destruct, much like the women mentioned in this blog. Keep your distance but at the same time be that persons best friend. It's a simple case of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.