As I check my Facebook for my monthly message purging and men deletion, the amount of married men in my inbox is disappointingly disgusting. I know I touched on this before with a previous MESSAGE blog so sorry if parts of this sounds redundant. Corinna and I were talking like ALWAYS when the subject came up on "will men ever be happy?" will they ever be okay with just ONE person? Then I had to think, it's not just men, women also. Will anyone be happy with just one person for the rest of their life? I do think people can be all about one person, but I also think some cave under the pressure of what everyone else is doing, getting married, starting a family and so on. I've heard countless friends say "I did this to soon" or "I wasn't ready and I'm still not" or my favorite "Why didn't anyone tell me to wait?" Hell I know more people my age that are divorced then any other age!
Personally I'm single for many reasons, but the MAIN one is because I'm not done with my single selfish needs and desires! I believe that's where people mess up, they stop living and conform without the knowledge of knowing how to live while still being with someone else. I didn't know the difference, I wanted to please my boyfriend(s) so whatever they wanted, I was down for. After getting to know myself, I will move more, travel more, dance on table tops, go to a foreign country, backpack through Europe and do so many other things! Because that's what people in their 20s do, that's what people do before they get with someone. I want no regrets, I refuse to hold back and be complacent in this complicated beautiful world we live in. I refuse to hate someone because I didn't do what I wanted to do before we got serious. Granted it would be great to find someone to backpack through Europe with and travel across this country with (hell I know the perfect man for that :D and I know he's already down). I refuse to be like my friends and hate where I"m at, my friends tell me to just live and do me because that life is always going to be there.
People say "You're not getting any younger" hell family members are saying they want a baby from me! Even want to see me walk down the isle. WELL no shit Sherlock, I'm aware I'm getting older, and I LOVE the process, a baby isn't just for fun or an accessory neither is agreeing to spend the rest of your life with someone when you're not ready. When you rush, you mess up, when you push whats not meant to be will push back and throw you off track.I could careless about what other people are doing, what I do care about is what I' doing in the moment. I've spent many years not being in the moment, doing what an abusive obsessive boyfriend at the time wanted me to do. I'm not ashamed to do whatever my little heart desires, because happiness has to come from within. I know eventually I will meet that fantastic man, settle down, have kids and so on when it comes I wont fight it. I just know that the more I get to know myself, grow and fall in love with every little flaw, the more men come my way. It's like confidence is a big magnet...Hmm.. Very interesting.
It's not just the amount of married men and strangers in my inbox that sparked this conversation. It's also men that I know who are in a relationship. They call me way out of line and wonder why I don't answer the phone anymore, or respond to texts. I know you're girlfriend and the level of disrespect you do to her while trying to talk to me... doesn't make sense. Why would I EVER want to speak to a married man or one booed up? How I get you is how I'll lose you (See my blog MESSAGE: Not Your Entertainment).
SIDE NOTE I do want to say for those who are my age getting married, making babies and so on and you're contently happy I'm happy for you. Just stop trying to push that on me because I'm living, I'm loving, I'm having fun. If you're not happy, don't look for it in other people, look for it within yourself. There's nothing worse then being in a relationship with a single mindset.
#nowplaying Jazmine Sullivan ft Meek Mill- Dumb
<3 Eb
