Because at times I listen to my friends. Then I realized that most of the time I'm better off ignoring their advice. Okay, I guess I can stop being dramatic! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I prep myself by watching the horror videos and reading the horrible comments which caused me to psych myself out. Once I finally got it over with, it's like getting a Brazilian but on your face, seeing how I accidentally got some of my eyebrow hair and baby hair in the mask -_- . Round of applause for those who can do this more than once, I'm good I'll stick to my normal clay masks.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Ebony Does: Chrissy Teigen Cravings
I do a lot of different things, and I realized that I'm horrible at documenting and sharing them! So that stops TODAY! Kicking off my new blog series Ebony Does with something that I love to do! COOK! The kitchen is my best friend and I love making up my own recipes and trying new ones out. This time, I'm trying something spicy and sweet from the awesome Chrissy Teigen from her latest cookbook Cravings.
The sauce was awesome: chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, your favorite bourbon or whiskey, your favorite bbq sauce, garlic cloves, lime and brown sugar! First I want to say that my new found love for chipotles in adobo sauce is much appreciated so thank you Chrissy!
After you combine all the ingredients, you put it in a blender or food processor! This is where the disappointment came in, when it came to letting it marinate. I was starving when I was doing this new recipe. So waiting a full 24 hours, hurt me to my bone marrow.
NOW WE'RE BACK!
A Full 24 hours later! The chicken has marinated and my stomach is growling. I put the chicken in the oven and now it's time for me to make the mango salsa which is simple.
You'll need a mango, onion, cilantro, lime juice, lime zest, salt and pepper. I added tomatoes because I love tomatoes.
After you mix it all together, why not enjoy the pit of the mango and eat the rest of the mango from the skins? You can't let that go to waste and I make it a point to eat EVERYTHING, we do NOT waste food in my house!
The Chipotle Honey Chicken With Avocado Mango Salsa
That face right there, is full of disappointment when I found out that I had to marinate the chicken. It says for 2 -24 hours, but knowing me; I had to do it for the full 24 hours.
After you combine all the ingredients, you put it in a blender or food processor! This is where the disappointment came in, when it came to letting it marinate. I was starving when I was doing this new recipe. So waiting a full 24 hours, hurt me to my bone marrow.
NOW WE'RE BACK!
A Full 24 hours later! The chicken has marinated and my stomach is growling. I put the chicken in the oven and now it's time for me to make the mango salsa which is simple.
You'll need a mango, onion, cilantro, lime juice, lime zest, salt and pepper. I added tomatoes because I love tomatoes.
After you mix it all together, why not enjoy the pit of the mango and eat the rest of the mango from the skins? You can't let that go to waste and I make it a point to eat EVERYTHING, we do NOT waste food in my house!
After the chicken was in the oven for about 40 minutes, It's ready!
I think it turned out great, but of course I had to have someone else try it to confirm! Thanks to Dan for coming by and being my food tester.
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Backhanded Compliments (Insert Eye Roll Here)
Let's give it up for the backhanded compliments. The ones that are meant to uplift you but when you truly think about it, they're pretty offensive. Here's one that I get and it really makes my blood boil.
"You're so pretty! What are you mixed with?"
or the
"Wow! You can't be fully black"
or the
"Wow! You can't be fully black"
Can we insert all of the eye-rolling emojis here? All of them times a million! Not only do people say that, they seriously look at me waiting for me to explain some type of alien exotic mixture that no man has ever heard of. Waiting on my next word as if I'm some type of art project. Or something that should be entered into the science fair. Or some type of being that needs to be examined by the best doctors in the world just so they can discover my DNA.
Then it hit me, people who say that have no idea why it's so offensive. There's so much ignorance in this world and a lot of people are walking around uneducated but prance around like they are. Well friend, that is why I'm here. To help you understand the offensive nature that is you and your "compliments".
Then it hit me, people who say that have no idea why it's so offensive. There's so much ignorance in this world and a lot of people are walking around uneducated but prance around like they are. Well friend, that is why I'm here. To help you understand the offensive nature that is you and your "compliments".
Why do I have to be mixed to be beautiful? As if I can't just be black? I have to be something else. I was ranting about this to a friend and he said "But Ebony, you are heavily mixed, you even posted your ancestry results." It was clear that he didn't get the point either, which was
Why can't me being black define itself as beautiful?
I mean there are people who try to get darker by tanning, get injections on body parts that come naturally to me, copy the dance moves, music and whatever else that was created in Africa but put a different face on it. And my favorite, people who steal my ancestors styles and call them a trend aka corn rows and stiletto nails to name a few. But no, you have to assume that I have to be mixed with something because of the Hollywood portrayal of my kind, and what's high lighted on the news is all that you chose to believe.
There's always a double standard between races, body type, sexes and ages. The back handed compliments are no way, shape or form limited to race. A girlfriend of mine received one that said "wow you're so pretty for a big girl!" So as I write, I realized that I'm not offended by the "compliment" instead, I'm embarrassed for the people who say. Would you be offended if someone said that to you?
And to go back to what my friend said about me being mixed. This is America where being mixed means absolutely nothing because my skin in brown. Just because they have a new box when you take tests or apply for jobs that say "mixed" doesn't mean that people will stop looking me as just another black woman. That doesn't mean that the sales associate won't follow me in the isles. That doesn't meant that the random pat downs at the airport will stop. That doesn't mean that the objectification or expected stereotypes will disappear. That doesn't mean that the stares when I enter into an all-white facility will stop. That doesn't mean that I won't end up like Sandra Bland one day. That's doesn't mean that my rights actually matter or that my life does. Because honey, no matter what's in my DNA I'm black, and I'm proud of it; just like how everyone should be proud of who they are and where they came from.
If black wasn't beautiful, then why is it copied on a daily basis?
But then again, this is a place where a black woman can sound uneducated and ghetto and society drags her through all kinds of hell. While someone like Danielle Bergoli aka 'cash me outside' from the Palms in Florida; can drop out of elementary school and make a living off of mimicking that very black woman who's torn to shreds by society.
There's always a double standard between races, body type, sexes and ages. The back handed compliments are no way, shape or form limited to race. A girlfriend of mine received one that said "wow you're so pretty for a big girl!" So as I write, I realized that I'm not offended by the "compliment" instead, I'm embarrassed for the people who say. Would you be offended if someone said that to you?
And to go back to what my friend said about me being mixed. This is America where being mixed means absolutely nothing because my skin in brown. Just because they have a new box when you take tests or apply for jobs that say "mixed" doesn't mean that people will stop looking me as just another black woman. That doesn't mean that the sales associate won't follow me in the isles. That doesn't meant that the random pat downs at the airport will stop. That doesn't mean that the objectification or expected stereotypes will disappear. That doesn't mean that the stares when I enter into an all-white facility will stop. That doesn't mean that I won't end up like Sandra Bland one day. That's doesn't mean that my rights actually matter or that my life does. Because honey, no matter what's in my DNA I'm black, and I'm proud of it; just like how everyone should be proud of who they are and where they came from.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Yes, I Love How I Look Too.
It's so funny, a friend of mine shared this article from Buzzfeed where a woman who agreed with a compliment she received on Tinder and how it pissed the guy off. Why is that? Is it because you encountered a woman who, for once loves who she is, what she is and how she looks? Is it because that a woman who is self-aware is now deemed cocky instead of confident? Either way, it's annoying.
Ladies,
You should think and believe that you look good. You should love your skin, hair, nails, clothes, body and whatever else you wear on that beautiful canvas that God created. Most importantly you shouldn't be apologetic for it. Look, it's simple, if a guy is threatened by your confidence and self love they will lash out at you and come back with a diss to cover up that compliment. It's mainly because that man is scared of a woman who is secure. Which ultimately means that he himself is insecure and wants a doe eyed chick who is in the same boat.
Personally like many of you I've been treated badly because of my confidence. Also because I'm not easily smitten by a comment. This one guy told me that he didn't know how to handle someone who already knew her worth. What? He went on to explain that a majority of girls, when you compliment them they give you a backstory. I laughed because I know plenty of women like that. He then mocked a conversation:
man: you look great
woman: really? man I felt like shit today or ugh thanks I don't think so or stop lying
man to me: you look great today!
me: thanks!
He said my short curt response mixed with happiness and self-awareness of my self-love was refreshing. We went on to have a great date and later down the road we fitted best as friends and nothing romantic. However from time to time, he does hint at wanting to give it another shot, but meh I'm not feeling it. Now back to the compliments!
I want every woman to learn how to receive a compliment with confidence. It starts by loving yourself and complimenting yourself daily AND believing it! Tell yourself you're gorgeous in the morning, that you look good and that you love those battle scars that we as women gain over the years. You are beautiful, you are loved and you are an amazing goddess! If you need some help, my girl Ashley Graham has a message for you:
<3 Ebony
Ladies,
You should think and believe that you look good. You should love your skin, hair, nails, clothes, body and whatever else you wear on that beautiful canvas that God created. Most importantly you shouldn't be apologetic for it. Look, it's simple, if a guy is threatened by your confidence and self love they will lash out at you and come back with a diss to cover up that compliment. It's mainly because that man is scared of a woman who is secure. Which ultimately means that he himself is insecure and wants a doe eyed chick who is in the same boat.
Personally like many of you I've been treated badly because of my confidence. Also because I'm not easily smitten by a comment. This one guy told me that he didn't know how to handle someone who already knew her worth. What? He went on to explain that a majority of girls, when you compliment them they give you a backstory. I laughed because I know plenty of women like that. He then mocked a conversation:
man: you look great
woman: really? man I felt like shit today or ugh thanks I don't think so or stop lying
man to me: you look great today!
me: thanks!
He said my short curt response mixed with happiness and self-awareness of my self-love was refreshing. We went on to have a great date and later down the road we fitted best as friends and nothing romantic. However from time to time, he does hint at wanting to give it another shot, but meh I'm not feeling it. Now back to the compliments!
I want every woman to learn how to receive a compliment with confidence. It starts by loving yourself and complimenting yourself daily AND believing it! Tell yourself you're gorgeous in the morning, that you look good and that you love those battle scars that we as women gain over the years. You are beautiful, you are loved and you are an amazing goddess! If you need some help, my girl Ashley Graham has a message for you:
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Taking a Moment
Where have I been!?
That seems to be the hot topic of the emails and messages I received from my writing hiatus. So to answer your question, I've been taking a moment.
In a place where you're constantly overlooked, talked down on, disrespected and at times fearful for your life you have to take a moment. You have to take a moment to appreciate what's around you. You have to take a moment to remember why you do what you do. You have to take a moment to fall in love with it all over again as if it were your first true love.
For me, I had to take a moment and love myself again. From the people who make it a habit to constantly let me know that I'm nothing, I had to take a moment to rebuild myself. From a certain profession that's slowly sucking the life out of me because of misplaced promises, I had to take a moment to remember that I am worthy of those promises and they will happen one way or another. Also that this is just a stepping stone to my happiness. From the people who are flaky I had to take a moment to remove them from my life. For the God, my papa who keeps on blessing and forgiving me, I had to take a moment to reconnect with him.
I'm doing something that's long overdue, I'm focusing on me and what I want. I'm going after everything that is set before me and letting no one or thing get in the way of that. I have this fire that God placed back in my heart of our original plan. Which ultimately is his plan on my life. At times you have to take a moment to appreciate yourself so that no one else can tear what you built down.
I have something in the works. A plan that I'll be more then happy to share with you when the moment is right. I'm excited for this journey and to share it with you when the time presents itself. Just know that there's a major shift in the atmosphere.
I'll still be taking my moments, and I'm going to write every now and again. Soon my blog will be as popping as it once was. But for now, I need to disconnect so I can reconnect with what truly matters. The voices that need to be heard. The topics that needs to be discussed and what's in my heart. I'll be taking a moment for as long as it takes.
<3 Ebony
That seems to be the hot topic of the emails and messages I received from my writing hiatus. So to answer your question, I've been taking a moment.
In a place where you're constantly overlooked, talked down on, disrespected and at times fearful for your life you have to take a moment. You have to take a moment to appreciate what's around you. You have to take a moment to remember why you do what you do. You have to take a moment to fall in love with it all over again as if it were your first true love.
For me, I had to take a moment and love myself again. From the people who make it a habit to constantly let me know that I'm nothing, I had to take a moment to rebuild myself. From a certain profession that's slowly sucking the life out of me because of misplaced promises, I had to take a moment to remember that I am worthy of those promises and they will happen one way or another. Also that this is just a stepping stone to my happiness. From the people who are flaky I had to take a moment to remove them from my life. For the God, my papa who keeps on blessing and forgiving me, I had to take a moment to reconnect with him.
I'm doing something that's long overdue, I'm focusing on me and what I want. I'm going after everything that is set before me and letting no one or thing get in the way of that. I have this fire that God placed back in my heart of our original plan. Which ultimately is his plan on my life. At times you have to take a moment to appreciate yourself so that no one else can tear what you built down.
I have something in the works. A plan that I'll be more then happy to share with you when the moment is right. I'm excited for this journey and to share it with you when the time presents itself. Just know that there's a major shift in the atmosphere.
I'll still be taking my moments, and I'm going to write every now and again. Soon my blog will be as popping as it once was. But for now, I need to disconnect so I can reconnect with what truly matters. The voices that need to be heard. The topics that needs to be discussed and what's in my heart. I'll be taking a moment for as long as it takes.
<3 Ebony
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