You know, for so many years I've been a little jealous of those who knew how to appreciate things. It may sound silly, but whether you're a person who appreciates friends, family, current situations, the ups, the downs and everything in between; I was jealous of you. Here I am someone who was always on the go. I always had my future and where I wanted to be in my mind. In every state I lived, at every job I was blessed to have, I always wanted the next best thing. Problem with that is, that I was missing some of the best things in the moment.
I never sat and truly thought about why God brought me to a certain place at a certain time.
I don't know why that was what it was. It maybe because I already knew where I was going to be and what I was going to do. It might have been my inability to be happy knowing that better was out there. It could have been that I simply was unappreciative. Which my friend, is true, I was very unappreciative. I now look back at all that I've done and I'm proud of my achievements, but I'm not proud of the fun that I missed.
I was so focused on working, going to school, making sure that everything was lined up that I missed out on key events of certain friendships. I decided to work very hard and to make sure my shows were top in the market. I decided to put out one book after another and write two more that I have yet to release instead of, going to a club and being able to share that "inside joke". I decided to be submerged in my writing of scripts that I missed out on drunken nights that wouldn't have been remembered the next day.
Although I do love where I'm at and what I sacrificed to get here; I do wish that I lived in the moment at certain times. This has taught me to love and appreciate all those around me right now. Because of what I missed out on, this has taught me how to be a better friend. Because of how far I've come, this has taught me that taking a break isn't a bad thing. After all, what a good friend told me makes perfect sense:
What God has for you will forever be yours.
So although I'm a little sad that I missed certain things, I'm also proud of how it's helped me be who I am today. My hope for you is that as you chase those dreams, as you decide to follow your heart that you also love where you're at. I hope that you take a seat, a real seat, and look around you. I hope that you look at your friends and family and love them. I hope that you give yourself a break and live every once and awhile. I hope that you love life even when you're struggling to get to your destiny.
You will make it to your dreams, why not have a little fun on the way?
<3 Ebony
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