Love in The Process

Why do we feel the need to rush? 

That's the question that I find myself asking over and over again. Mainly because I have great conversations with a variety of different people. Ones that are older, younger, black, white, purple, male, female and alien. It seems to me that the circle of acquaintances that I have around me all seem to be into doing one thing. And that is wanting what they want and wanting it NOW.  When I asked each of them why not trust and love in the process, why do you have to rush it?  I, to my surprise always get the same answer.

I don't know. 

In the age of immediacy, where anything and everything is at your fingertips from applying to jobs, getting a significant other, getting directions, finding an amazing restaurant and more why wait? Why be patient? Why go through the process of taking your time and finding the right thing for you? There's no point in it when you can easily have your answer in less than a minute. Which my friend, brings me to this next question.

Why rush a relationship? 

I have a few friends, that when they start the process of getting to know a man, they immediately rush into thoughts of marriage. Yes I do agree with them in the sense that it's important to establish a common ground of what you want. However, if you two are no where close to being in a relationship, why jump the gun? Why are you getting out of your starting blocks so early? Not only will it disqualify you before you reach the finish line; but that will have you on the fast track to heartache and heart break. 

I'm one who loves the process of getting to know someone.  Then moving into exclusively talking aka everyone else is out of the picture. Then becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and so on. I don't find the need to rush or question what are we? Instead, I take my time because I know what I want. I want to get to know the other person to the best of my ability. After all, even after you're married you never truly know someone. Each day is a new adventure.When it comes to the process, I find peace and happiness in taking my time. Why?

Personally, when I rush or questioned it ruined things. 

What I mean by that is, when I start to rush or question the man that I'm talking too, it ruined the chance at it becoming something special. Instead of enjoying the moments I was to focused on the next day when we have yet to finish the one we were in. Instead of watching his behaviors and seeing if it fits me, I was to busy looking past that and questioning him on "what if" situations. Instead of chilling and watching the movie, I wanted to turn each scene into a real life hypothetical. And my GOD, that shit must have been so annoying for him! I fully understood why they would run when I had the roles reversed.  

I met a man who did to me what I was doing to others. 

He was a great guy. One with a pure heart and who truly wanted to know what was going on. But in the time of getting to know him, I realized how over bearing it was. How confining it was to spend time with someone, when you really want to relax with them and instead they want to be in your head 24/7. I see how it's frustrating to want to joke around and they take it personal or serious. It's impossible for me to want to deal with that person. I then laughed and gave God props for blessing me with another person who in the end made me better.

Because of him, I've learned to love the process and to enjoy the ones that are auditioning for a leading role in my love life. When I meet someone who wants to rush past it, it's a huge red flag for me. There's typically underline issues with that person, why are they rushing? What are they trying to make a quick fix for? What heart break are they trying to overcome? Most importantly, what are they expecting of me? What hole do they want me to fill?  

 I'm madly in love with the process that will lead me to being madly in love with Mr Right. 

Dating is much more fun when you allow it to be and don't hold strangers to these unrealistic expectations. LIFE is much more fun when you allow it to be. When you learn to love the process of what Papa (God) is doing. When you can relax and trust in yourself that all the desires of your heart will come true. When you realize that your dreams will come true when you work at it and never give up. When you realize that you only have ONE life, and when you stop wasting it on hypotheticals and what ifs and start living in the NOW, this thing called life is truly amazing. 

<3 

Ebony