Monday, January 4, 2016

And the Award Goes Tooooooooooooo?

So you know those strange people who hang out at Wally World? You know the group that I'm talking about. They dress with no care in the world, might have missed a few showers, talk to themselves and random people scaring the CRAP out of anyone near them? Yeah those people, well I was one of them.... on accident.

It was REALLY early in the morning, and I SWORE that I knew this man in the cereal isle. I shouted hey "said guys name" and waved, thing is he waved and smile back at me CONFIRMING that we knew each other. So as I'm looking at my phone I proceed to tell this man my embarrassing moment..

Sigh... here is goes

ME: "(Said mans name), like I was just texting you this is not my morning!"
MAN "umm okay?"
ME: "First my morning was great, maintence was going to come in to fix my moving toilet, I worked out this morning and it kicked my ass the usual.."
MAN: "okay cool"
ME: " BUT this is where it messes up! I really had to pee so I looked at the clock and was like okay, I have time! BUT THEN  my heel got stuck on my pant, which caused me to lean forward fall off the toilet and into the wall, peeing everywhere! I was STUCK in this horrible scorpion position.FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, maintenance comes in RIGHT at 7am! Why? Because said they could come between the hours of 7am-3pm since I would be at work. Long story short, I'm now closer to my maintence guy seeing how he had to help me get unstuck. I then had to clean up everything and myself and now I'm here at good ol Walmart...."

As I looked up, I noticed that this man was not my friend... instead he was slowly inching away from me. I didn't know that man, so to make it seem like I wasn't crazy to the lady to my right. I waved to my new friend and said

"OKAY! I'll see you after work, yup have a great day!"
The lady to my right: "honey you should dump him because he isn't listening"

So dear randomly handsome man in Walmart, I am an adult and I do not pee on myself... Hope you're having a great Monday!

<3 Ebony #nowlisteningto Justin Bieber- Love Yourself

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