Cafe HonesTea : Sex and Bourbon

In this episode Big P challenged me to be even more open. Man, this was hard to do. I cried, took my inhaler and was sweating, but it's here.

Cafe HonesTea : Mental Prisons

We all have them... Those mental prisons that keep us captive. 

How many of us are allowing our mental prisons to block our blessings?

I Hope You Read This.

I hope that you read this....
..... while I sit scared...
A friend asked me a question.
.... something that's hard for my heart to bear...
She said "do you feel good enough? for someone else?...
...I threw her off with my answer.
She was expecting something inspirational, something empowering but instead
I was honest.
No...I don't feel good enough...'As I look across the table
At someone I want so strongly, but know that
God's protecting him from me...
It's not that he's not equipped
A good father he is...
It's more like my mental state of mind
is no good for a man like him...
...someone so fickle... indecisive... depressive... and unstable...
Why would a strong light ever be drawn to such brokenness?
..So I sadly settle for the friend role...
I know my position...
I can't fathom to take on a bigger role..
Bringing someone into my messed up world...
I know it's God intervening..
because we've had chances to explore our meaning...
..Although I desire affection...
something that's always been lacking in my life...
...I know it's what I need and desire..
if not received I keep looking higher...
..which leaves me confused...
because affection is something I don't receive from the few...
including you..
but yet... my heart still pulls towards the unknown.
Oh, the many battles I face..
...The silent prison in my mind...
the lonely hallways to my heart...
...overshadowed with the darkness of emotions...
A fear as I pass every door conquered..
...it's a dark place.. my mind and heart that is...
But I see the light and I'm desperately trying to grab it...
all while, I know there' s more to this..
I will never stop seeking it...
...No, I don't feel good enough...
And honestly...I don't believe I ever will..
...My desire to protect others is strong....
Even if it's from my own heart.

<3 Ebony









....Especially when it's protecting them from me...

OH SNAP! IT'S-A PODCAST. 

Well, as I'm about to start my new journey with CBS, a lot has happened. Even clearing up some discussion on me getting BACK into radio... Yeah, there's a deal on the table (a few of them) in the meantime, let's keep it here.