I get a little confused at times. My brain, it makes me think strangely at times.
Strangely might not be the perfect word. But what is perfect in this world?
I wait for the communication to take place. For you to notice me.
I wait for the recognition. For you to give me the once-over.
I wait for you. You notice.
You always do. I also notice too.
What are you doing to me? I hear it all.
That stuck with me, like rain in the fall.
It was crisp and sweet. It brought warmth and comfort.
It made me realize that you do see me. Not in a typical way.
I hope not in that way. But instead, in a, more of you want it too way.
I hope that's what you mean. We'll see.
I want too. I want it. I want you.
But the way my brain has me thinking. Is how can it even happen?
God is mysterious. Like the heart. Like feelings. Like actions.
Like the words, we're afraid to say to one another. Words like, I like you and no other.
Like the confirmation that's needed in order for something to go forward.
We hate those conversations. But, they need to happen.
That awkward conversation. The need for representation.
Of the emotions. They need to be categorized.
We simply can't just let it be. Society wants to know.
I want to know. We need to know.
How far should it go? Where do we start? How does it end?
You see, I have so many questions in my head.
We want what we can't have. Or we want but are afraid to ask.
I'm afraid to ask. So I sit and watch you.
The rejection is something my heart can't take. So why risk it?
Let it be fate that decides for me. Or let it be you to make the move.
I pray for the courage. You're too beautiful to approach.
But I see you. You'll never go unnoticed to me.
<3 Ebony
