You Being Strong Has Nothing To Do With It

One of my male suitors, made the comment on how strong I am. Then followed it up with "is that part of why you're single?" I had to reply and let him know that I'm single by choice, I don't have to be. I never have to be, I have plenty of amazing male suitors who want me; I'm in no rush and I'm in love with the process <- (click the link for more on that.) I went in on him... granted mother nature was knocking so my PMS was WAY up there. Oops, my bad.

Let me just say that saying a woman is strong and that's why 

she is single is a societal back handed compliment. 

I think plenty of women use that as a crutch or an excuse as to why they're single which is simply not the case. How about instead of using your supposed strength as a woman and saying that, that's why you're single; and instead wake up and realize that you're single probably because you're messing around with weak men, or men that are simply not interested in you, or you simply haven't found that king yet. There's a difference between a strong woman who talks and engages with a hot strong man, versus one who wants that super hot man who can offer her absolutely nothing except mind blowing sex. Most of the time, ladies lets be honest, we go for the mind blowing sex.

Some women dismiss the nice guy because he's unfamiliar territory

For some reason plenty of women and men go for those who have nothing of substance or importance to offer them. Then they have the nerve to get disappointed when their childish asses leaves or isn't what they wanted them to be. Now, I'm speaking to both men and women here. This whole dating world is so screwed up, it's comical in a sense. We're used to being treated like shit, if a good one comes along it's like rocket science. Or some how our malware malfunctions and we have no idea how to act and find a way to mess it all up.

Vanity rules our society. 

Now ladies, I'm an ear to many of you. I know plenty of women who recite how men don't want a strong woman. May I throw in there, that this usually happens after they get rejected. Here's what I noticed from the ladies who I have conversations with and who use that strong woman singleness bullshit, they have so many issues within themselves that they're failing to see what it's attracting. And guess what ladies and gents, men can smell an insecure woman a mile away. I personally know men who prey on those women. It's weird to watch the trap be set, the lies, the words and actions of my male acquaintances. It's stranger to watch how some women are so quick to fall for it.

You may say that you want a relationship, but in reality you  might not be ready for it.

We're so fixated on the idea that we have to be in a relationship, that most of us are willing to settle. Most of use don't care and just want someone. Most of us are desperate. Here's the problem with that, being anxious and desperate about finding your partner. When you get into that mindset, you settle for temporary happiness. In the end, those rushed relationships never work out, it does for the moment but when life comes in and you have to talk about futures; they never line up. I'm not sure about you, but I don't want temporary love.

Men are designed to be with women so yes they can handle you! 

They just might not want YOU. 

Call it mean or rude but it's the truth. If a man doesn't want you, then that's it he simply doesn't want you and it has nothing to do with how strong you are, you're simply not his cup of tea. You don't fit his mold, his vision for where he wants his life to go etc. Why is it okay for us women to dismiss men, talk about it with our girls and keep it pushing; but if a man does it, then he's lame, weak, stupid etc.? Take that as a blessing if a man moves on from you. In my opinion, the most horrible thing we can do, is be with someone we know is not right for us. All the wasted time, energy, emotions, 21 questions who seriously wants to go through with that?

No more excuses. No more crutches. Instead, lets look within, love ourselves and enjoy this journey! You don't want a man or woman to be with you when you  know it's not right. You don't want your time wasted either. So STOP saying you're single because you're strong, and start saying you're single because you're not settling for someone who's less than perfect and awesome as yourself.

After all, you do deserve the best my love.

<3 Ebony