Truth About The Weight

It wasn't a food issue with me, it was a heart and health issue.

When it comes to my weight loss, I get the feeling that some think I was a bigger girl from the beginning of time. Questions fill my inbox on wanting to know quick ways to lose weight and so on. So I thought I would share a painful truth. I wasn't a bigger girl from the beginning of time, instead my weight came from pain, abuse and health issues. 

I was an athlete in school , basketball player, and track star; fitness and healthy ways of living has always been a part of my life since I was 14 years-old. After high school, I kept up with my cardio but this time I also added weights. What needs to be understood from that is that I have muscle memory, so when it came to losing weight it happened fast and my snapback wasn't hard to attain for me. 

Left: 3 years ago Right: Me a couple days ago

 At a KFAT 92.9 event  3 years ago, I was with a man who was abusive in many ways. I was upset, sad, insecure, hated myself, lonely the list goes on. I went from a size 4 weighing at 145 lbs to a size 12 weighing in at 190. It's amazing to see what stress can do on the body. 

The weight gain wasn't all stress and abuse, it was also due to a health issue that people don't know about. While dating this horrible person, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, it was the beginning stages, but nonetheless the tactics to go about this issue to make sure it didn't spread wasn't easy, fun or nice. Imagine getting parts of your cervix frozen, biopsy after biopsy while having other procedures on other parts and so on. It hurt, and while my body was battling that, my heart murmur was battling to kill me, and my ex was hurting me in ways that I wish he would've killed me. Since I'm being honest, I wanted all the pain to stop, I wanted him to kill me because I had NO energy to grab my things and leave, I had no one to call for help, and when I called the police, they didn't help one officer laughed at my situation. God where are you? I need you now is all I can remember praying and crying every morning and night. 

My days during this time went like this, work, hospital, home to get screamed at or worse, then sleep and do it all over in the morning. What makes it even more worse, is that despite being in the public eye I had no friends to turn to or family that I trusted. I was smiling, hosting events, going about my radio show, saying hi to my parents, attending 'friends' birthday parties etc. Smiling at them while no one cared to ask "how are you?" not a single person asked how I was, instead it was can you do this? can I barrow that? hey Ebony can you loan me...I think you get my drift, I'm sure you can relate to being used and having no one there either right?

I had enough of it all, which lead me to take a job in Texas. I was free, I was able to see what I allowed to happen to me. I was always a size 4-5 weighing 140-150lbs... all of a sudden I'm a size 12 and weighing in at 190. I didn't notice what happened, I was in pain and focusing on staying alive I didn't notice the weight. Also, no one who 'loved' me, who said they would keep it 100, told me that I gained weight; I guess that's because it would have to lead to a "What's going on?" questions and in all honesty, no one cared about what was going on.

Moving cleared my vision, helped me seek God in many ways. Once I got the keys to my apartment, I started running on the treadmill. I'll never forget it, I ran 10 miles the first night. Then I cried. I cried out the pain, betrayal, every emotion I cried and asked God to heal me.  I love to run, I was a track star so it wasn't new to me.  The next day I ran 4 miles,  and everyday after that. Slowly increasing to 5, then 6 then well you get my drift. 

When I finally got a gym membership, I started lifting weights, oh the release you get from lifting! I dropped the weight in a matter of months, first month I dropped over 15 lbs and in total I dropped 50lbs with a gain of 10 in muscle! I would like to reiterate that I have awesome muscle memory so my weight loss was rapid, effective and will stick. When I say it sticks for me, it's been two years and the weight is still off and wont be coming back. 

It wasn't a food issue with me, it was a heart and health issue. So fiddling with my "diet" would make no sense. Nonetheless, I'm back to who I was prior, actually I'm even better because now I have a booty! All laughs aside, each weight loss or gain journey is different, we all have different triggers. You might be in pain, lazy, lost, it doesn't matter we all have a story. My perfect body was ruined by pain and me allowing the aftermath, but I said enough. So, what's your story? 

<3 Ebony 

I HATE SOCIAL NETWORKING UPDATE :)

IT'S HERE! #BOOK #RELAUNCH #IHATESOCIALNETWORKING #AUTHOR

A video posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 24, 2016 at 12:56pm PDT

My Fear

I had this fear of what people thought about me. At 18, I was scared for all the backlash from being on television, what would my friends think and or say? As time went on, I lost a good amount of people in my life because of my goals and inability to stop chasing them. Honestly, I believe in the saying 'you can't lose what was never yours', that makes things easier for me.  Despite that, I still had this fear; this time it wasn't about losing people, it was about loving people and allowing them to love me.

In life we all get hurt, for some the pain is a 100/100 and for others the pain is a 10/100. For me, that pain was at the highest on the scale that it could go.I'm well aware of what fear does, it holds you back from experiences. I never want to miss out on those experiences because I'm chicken shit over something that's inevitable,which is getting hurt. Like Bob Marley says "truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

As I allowed myself to get raw and face my fears and allow people into my life I realized what I was missing. The true connection with people that I lacked like many of us because we have walls up. It's amazing what can happen when we work on ourselves, become strong, and allow those walls to disappear. I'm also smarter about things and people. I don't just let any Joe Blow in my intimate circle, I have places for everyone so no boundaries are crossed. I realized that dating is a whole lot easier because I'm secure, unafraid and having fun. I now differentiate friends and acquaintances and know that I don't need to speak to someone every day to consider them a friend. I now know that life is so beautiful when we choose to love and not live in a shell.

Now when it comes to falling in love, I've talked to my dad countless times, my friend Corinna also as well as one of my best friends Tony. I'm only doing myself a disservice when it comes to relationships if I don't try because my exes either A. couldn't keep it in their pants or B. wouldn't stop with the abuse. Why should I suffer because of their actions? Haven't I suffered enough while being with them? I logged onto Facebook today, and my dad posted this quick video: 

My heart is healed and so ready to get back on that horse one day. I haven't been in a relationship for almost 4 years now, and I’m opening up to the thought of entertaining one. As for now I'm thoroughly enjoying my journey until God sends Mr.Right my way.  

My point is life is so much better lived if we kick our fears to the curb. 

<3 Ebony 

Slay Queen Hair Review Part 1

First i have to give a BIG shout out to my stylist Reeka with Amani Hair Salon in Bryan, Texas! She is amazing. I was so happy when I found her during my emotional break down that lead to me chopping off my hair and getting a killer sexy Mohawk. She did her magic YET again and sewed in a kick-ass install, 3 bundles of Malaysian Body Wave 12-14-16 and a 12inch silk based closure from Slay Queen Hair. 

Packaging:
I loved that it came in a silk bag! Why? Well for one, I sleep with a silk bonnet to protect my natural hair, so to see that a company also cares for their hair like I do my own; they got major props from me.

Hair:
It smelled great, natural, no chemicals or odors. The wefts are thick and the hair bounces back quickly. It holds heat, so be careful when flat ironing or curling try to wait to touch it, I'd wait a few seconds. It holds curls well whether I used the rods, flat or curling iron.

Price:
Very affordable, they have something for everyone so I suggest checking them out. They also offer bleach blond extensions, a variety of textures and so on. Check em out here  www.slayqueenhair.com

I'll do another blog in a month or so after it's been in and handled a few washes. In the mean time, check out some hair awesomeness from Reeka at Amani Hair Salon in Bryan, Texas.

Obvious Mohawk grow out so she tames that too with an A lined bob. 

Crochet Braids with my sides faded. Felt like Mc Lyte 

 After my first haircut, felt good. Double V's in the back

 Saw this design on Instagram so she did it for me 

Days in a Radio Break-room

There are plenty of random things in a radio break-room. Things that range from hats, shirts, soda, donuts, cake, cookies, pies, bbq, McDonald's, Pop-Eyes, KFC, Pizza, show tickets I can go on for FOREVER! This morning I thoroughly enjoyed the stampede of people heading to the kitchen for Ice Cream breakfast! The boss man put out a spread of Blue Bell Ice Cream, toppings, waffle bowls, bananas, and cherries.... I didn't partake in the goodies because it's 9am and I'm lactose intolerant lol. The scene after a majority of the ice cream was eaten was priceless...

When there's an ice cream breakfast in the break room and no I didnt have any lol

A video posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 14, 2016 at 8:07am PDT

Motivational Monday :)

#motivationalmonday #celebraterecovery #forgiveness

A video posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 13, 2016 at 10:08am PDT

Orlando

I woke up this morning in a great mood. Went to church at Connecting Point, and for the first time in a long time, I cried during the service. It was about forgiveness and at the end, the highlight was how guilt slowly kills us. It was powerful, my pastor (Scott Willmore) took a gasoline can and said:
"I can't forgive what this person did to me" then he bored the water from the gas can over him. Again he said
"Their lies hurt" poured more over his head... and so on and so forth.  Lastly adding if we continue to live life with this guilt and unforgiveness, we might as well light the match too.

I get to work and put in a few hours. Then I open my web browser only to read the horror that happened in Orlando, 50 dead over 53 injured, the city ran out of ambulances, etc. My God. What is happening?

My heart hurt, it cries for all those lost and those suffering the aftermath. This is senseless, why did this happen? Because a guy was outraged by seeing two men kiss? What does their life have to do with yours? Why was that so bad for him to see? Was he gay and jealous that he couldn't come out? So many thoughts, I have so many questions.

Different people are what make this place beautiful. Why hate it? Why kill it? It's not up to man to take a life yet so many think it is. This act of terror is because of a man hating homosexuals. There are many just like him who also preach religion. Well, guess what. Jesus died for ALL of us, not just those righteous and those faking to be.

It doesn't matter that they were gay, human lives were taken, that's all that should matter.

<3 Ebony

#jesusfixit #prayfororlando

Charity Softball Game!

So today I took part in an awesome softball game! It was the Police vs. Firemen and I loved it! I batted twice and played the outfield for about 3 innings. It was awesome and I'm thankful to be apart of this charitable game. #teamfirefighters.

<3 team #firedepartment

A photo posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 11, 2016 at 4:30pm PDT

Lots of fun! Fire department vs police department softball game!!

A photo posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 11, 2016 at 4:30pm PDT

He Tried to Take Her Right in Front of Her Mother...

When I watch this video, I'm instantly mad at many things. This is in broad daylight which now means that at ANY moment ANYWHERE this can happen. Her mother was RIGHT there, and he still had the audacity to try and take this little girl. There are PEOPLE IN THE STORE, and not one tried to help. The only reason why this man was arrested was by the grace of God. An off-duty police officer just so happened to be in the parking lot as the man ran out of the store. 

As the sex industry is on the rise, a friend of mine can't help but question, was she (if this was successful) going to be one of many little children sold to the industry? An industry according to Huffington Post, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and more media outlets has said is "on the rise and busy." I don't even want to think about the outcome if this mother hadn't tried with everything she had to stop this ridiculous man from taking her baby. 

There were people in the store; this might be what also irritated me. Not one person helped. Instead, they watched as this man dragged this child from an isle to in front of the counter to almost the door. As a society we tend to be complacent in the thoughts of " someone else will help, so I don't have too." I know plenty of mothers who I would assume if they witnessed this would've grabbed something and started to beat the breaks of this man. Heck, I know men who would step in, in a heartbeat. 

I'm just thankful that there was an off-duty police officer in the parking lot to catch this man. In most cases there isn't a police officer, in most cases it's pitch black, in most cases there aren't people around, in most cases this is successful. There are to many of our babies that don't come home because of mans' inability to keep their fantasies, urges, and tendencies to themselves. The lack of self-control is what dooms any society, and it's been hard at work in ours since Adam bit the apple. (For clarification, when I say 'mans' I mean that as in ALL women and men.)

These cases will be on the rise because we have desensitized ourselves to the human body and sex. If this isn't true, why are so many rape cases being tossed? If this isn't true, then why are the sex industry and sex trade industry on the rise?  We have to do better; we NEED to do better. 

<3 Ebony

My Voice a memoir by Angie Martinez

My book FINALLY CAME IN! I picked it up on Sunday the 5th and finished it today the 8th.

When I was six-years-old, I told my sister Natasha that I wanted to be the girl on the television. We were watching some award show, and she was on the red carpet. I didn't just want to be the dolled up woman on the TV in 1995. Instead, I wanted to have a voice make it heard and tell important stories.

As years progressed, my sister and I would take my mom's camcorder; it was a Sony brand, silver and bulky. I was reporting on a critical story. At the time a Dominoes Pizza in Anchorage, Alaska was temporarily shut down because their soda can tops have rat poison on them. So I HAD to report this, I HAD to tell the people. Come to think of it, the only people who watched it was my poor parents (love yall ).

It didn't matter if one person saw it, if a million people saw it or if I only saw it. The point to me, even at that young age was to report it. As I grew up, I got a chance to make that dream a reality. For those who don't know. I was a weather girl for Fox News at 18 for three years and then jumped right into radio, I've been a successful personality for also ten years, and I love it.

When reading Angie's book, I felt connected, inspired, valued and determined. This book, her life, one that I admired because of her 1. love of hip-hop, 2. her ability to report equally and tell ALL sides, 3. her beauty, 4. her talents, 5. her heart, 6.her never ending will to succeed and try new things.

Connected, how? Well, I also have many talents, and I was told by many that I had to pick one. Pick one talent and go for it then maybe dabble in the other areas later on. I didn't take that advice from people; I still pursue what I want and how I want. At times, I felt guilty, and before I read this book, I was heavily determined to just pick one dream. Angie picked ALL her dreams. This woman was a rapper, writer, activist, hosted a TV show, and of course on radio and so much more. This not only shows me, but PEOPLE that you don't have to pick ONE, go after everything that's in your heart.

Inspired because she had plenty of wisdom in her book, in her life! The people she was connected with from 2 Pac, Mary J, B.I.G, Pecas, Jay-Z and so much more. She surrounded herself with active people who always picked her up and were uplifting. Words I will forever remember come from Angie 1. "Run your own race" and 2. 'If something happens to throw you off, you can't curl up in it. You have to get past it." Yesterday, my dad told me that "You've surrounded yourself with some great people kid." It was then, that I realized that my circle has changed drastically and it mainly consists of Christians, goal driven ladies and creatives.

Valued...Even at her times of doubt and being self-conscious from exes to friends and co-workers she always managed to find the light and push through. It might have taken her awhile, but she did it. She realized what her worth is, from an ex who tripped that she was going to interview Pac during the "west coast east coast" beef, to one trying to make her feel guilty for loving her job. She dusted herself off, did the hard thing to let go and keep going.

Determined. This book came at the right time in my life. Coming from someone that I look up to in the game, I could hear her voice speak to me as I read. I could hear the different artist talk through the words also, and I would put myself at that exact moment with her because I understood. I get it. I feel it; her words are powerful, and her life is just as compelling. I was in a slump and slowly pulling myself out. "God what's next?" from the book and prayer  I gathered this "Ebony, it's only the beginning."

<3 Ebony

Face Masks?

My roommate had me try this face mask with her... It was my first time and I LOVED IT! I can't want to do it again? I wonder what it feels like to go to a spa? hmmm.... I think I'll get this done professionally.

Masks last night thanks to @mavmelonair my skin feels amazing today though!

A video posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 3, 2016 at 10:48am PDT

6 Month Rape Sentence....

A friend of mine posted this to her Facebook today. Plenty of thoughts ran through my mind as I hear the verdict given to a Stanford student Brock Turner, 20 got a slap on the wrist for sexual assault. Only six months in jail for RAPING an unconscious woman. For more on that story CLICK HERE 

Let me just go on a little rant here about an issue that's been bothering me...

For those who are pro-RAPE, this motion to dismiss any claims of RAPE or abuse after a person agrees to go to someone's house is ridiculous. Some guys call it a "tease" I just call it a way for you to be the disgusting predator that you already were. You just want this motion to go through so you can RAPE whomever you want without repercussions.

Back to the coward of Brock Turner and every other person who says "what did she expect?" please revert to that picture above. I'm not one to drink in a setting I don't know, ask those around me; I don't drink much, but when I do, I know my limits. Unfortunately, not everyone is like that; not everyone knows their limits let alone care about them. BUT does that mean it's okay to take advantage of those people who are in that situation????? Most RAPES happen from those who you know and or trust.

 I can say that because it happened to....

No, she wasn't drunk or on drugs, just overpowered; and when she tried to speak on it, she was interrogated, questioned by an ADULT that she trusted and then she thought it was her fault. She felt dirty like she called for it to happen and never spoke about it again.  For the remainder of her life in Alaska, she had to see his face, watch him watch her all over again, see him enjoying his life and wonder how many other women he did this too. Pray to God that he doesn't do it to anyone else, and most importantly pray for someone else to have courage no matter what people say to press charges and make it known.

I can't imagine the horror that this woman went through. Being RAPED and not knowing it, being so far gone that you have no recollection of the night and or event. It breaks my heart, it sucks, and it needs to change. The truth is, with science and years passing things only get more advanced.RAPE is not a light matter, when it's done a piece of the victim is gone, in some cases all of the victim is gone. Some people commit suicide, turn to drugs and alcohol, others become so secluded they get a little crazy in the head. Since the effects of RAPE last awhile so should each sentence.


<3 Ebony

 #iamshe #stopblamingthevictim

Motivation Monday: Check Yourself

Check yourself! #motivationalmonday

A video posted by Ebony Williams (@ebonyonair) on Jun 6, 2016 at 9:26am PDT

1 Year in Celebrate Recovery

Tonight, I received my year chip at Celebrate Recovery. CR is a Christ-centered recovery group for ALL hurts, hang-ups and habits. For me, I decided to take my life back a year ago from all of my abusers. It wasn't easy walking into Grace Church on a Sunday when I didn't want to. All I wanted to do was sleep, however God had other plans. I was almost late to church when I heard a young woman named DeAngela tell her story. She was so raw, honest, open and did this in CHURCH so I knew I had to speak with her. We exchanged numbers and she also told me more about CR, the locations, times and who to contact. The following Monday, I walked into Brazos Fellowship. 

I sat through the music in silence, the words were on the screens but I didn't want to sing I just wanted to sit there, drown myself in the words.  I was safe, for once I felt love and the love of Jesus overtake me. After the testimony, I sat still for the New Comers 101, there I met a fabulous woman named Nadine. From then on, my life was changed. I get emotional thinking about that woman, she is amazing a true blessing from God with one hell of a story of her own. I latched onto her, she introduced me to her friends who are now my amazing bible study group :). 

Long story short, when I got my chip today I was reminded that I'm forever free. I no longer hated the men and women who did wrong to me. I also prayed on forgiveness for the wrongs that I've done, reaching out to those I didn't want to but yet NEEDED to, just to say "sorry." I proudly hold this chip and look forward to the years to come. 

Thank you God. 

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord himself, is my strength & my defense he has become my salvation." - Isaiah 12:2