Yes, I was talked into getting back out there. What I noticed was the level of sensitivity has risen. Why is "NO" not enough? When did we become so entitled to someone else? Take a listen to the latest episode of Cafe HonesTea.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Distant Revelation
Distant revelation...
as I read over my last few confessions.
A poetic justice that wasn't done justice
maybe because it wasn't thought through.
Or maybe there wasn't enough thought at all...
just thoughts and feelings that don't seem to add up.
A distant revelation is what I like to call it.
A moment in time where time is not mine and
in fact, it's a battle of my mind because it makes me type things that I once felt.
Might not be my current state but feelings don't care
don't take into consideration that a once was is not a present.
Much like my ideology of you.
It sounded so amazing but I could never figure out why I liked you.
Why when I'm around you I don't feel loved.
The distance was blamed on your inability to love.
One that I self interpreted to not being good enough.
Doused in the lies of being the only one.
Did you forget you confess to me like I'm your Catholic priest?
Telling me all the things on your mind.
Even things you denied when I asked you questions on springs eve.
Quiet evenings where it's just the two of us.
Eating and reminiscing. Laughing and loving.
Those were the nights that seemed so sweet.
I still don't understand why you used them to lie to me.
It was amazing laying there, to hear another one of your true confession
In a moments blink, I realized it was never me that wasn't worthy
It was you.
It all makes sense as to why I never nabbed you.
Why at times I was happiest, it was when I wasn't around you.
You tend to do this yo-yo thing.
Where you pull me in and push me out again.
I would let you, silly girl I was.
Until it took a night of staring into you.
That's when I realized I'm better off without.
I got up abruptly leaving you where you sat.
I didn't need to explain.
No need to talk about it.
I owe a liar nothing more than my back.
Nothing more than me walking away.
Into the night that would kick start the rest of my life.
You were a nice distraction, with all the drama that you bring.
With your condescending tone of "caring"
Open eyes and a released heart.
I'm glad I escaped now, I'm glad we're apart.
Distant revelation my heart continues to beat.
This time it beats for me.
<3 Ebony
as I read over my last few confessions.
A poetic justice that wasn't done justice
maybe because it wasn't thought through.
Or maybe there wasn't enough thought at all...
just thoughts and feelings that don't seem to add up.
A distant revelation is what I like to call it.
A moment in time where time is not mine and
in fact, it's a battle of my mind because it makes me type things that I once felt.
Might not be my current state but feelings don't care
don't take into consideration that a once was is not a present.
Much like my ideology of you.
It sounded so amazing but I could never figure out why I liked you.
Why when I'm around you I don't feel loved.
The distance was blamed on your inability to love.
One that I self interpreted to not being good enough.
Doused in the lies of being the only one.
Did you forget you confess to me like I'm your Catholic priest?
Telling me all the things on your mind.
Even things you denied when I asked you questions on springs eve.
Quiet evenings where it's just the two of us.
Eating and reminiscing. Laughing and loving.
Those were the nights that seemed so sweet.
I still don't understand why you used them to lie to me.
It was amazing laying there, to hear another one of your true confession
In a moments blink, I realized it was never me that wasn't worthy
It was you.
It all makes sense as to why I never nabbed you.
Why at times I was happiest, it was when I wasn't around you.
You tend to do this yo-yo thing.
Where you pull me in and push me out again.
I would let you, silly girl I was.
Until it took a night of staring into you.
That's when I realized I'm better off without.
I got up abruptly leaving you where you sat.
I didn't need to explain.
No need to talk about it.
I owe a liar nothing more than my back.
Nothing more than me walking away.
Into the night that would kick start the rest of my life.
You were a nice distraction, with all the drama that you bring.
With your condescending tone of "caring"
Open eyes and a released heart.
I'm glad I escaped now, I'm glad we're apart.
Distant revelation my heart continues to beat.
This time it beats for me.
<3 Ebony
Monday, April 8, 2019
Cafe Honestea : Your Time Is Important
"Where did the time go?"
How many times have we said that? A friend of mine taught me the importance of time management as well as the importance of keeping a tight circle.
Monday, April 1, 2019
RIP NIP
"I still got a cold library of books that I've either read or I plan on getting to." Nipsey Hussle
I understand that for some, because he's a black male, with tattoos, a rapper etc and fits your "I don't give a shit about these people" stereotype. I understand that for some, just looking at him you deep down are glad "another thug" is gone. I understand that because he's not an "All-American" looking female victim, you won't blink twice at a senseless death. I get it, that IF he looked the total opposite that America's heart would be in pain, but instead we get the "why does HE matter?" question.
"Thought is powerful in all phases. Even in my career, even in my life,
things end up exactly how I visualized them." - Nipsey Hussle
He IS the definition of someone doing their best to not only live their best life, but be a business man, a smart man who understood an asset from a liability.
He sold 1000 mix-tapes for $100 each, profits that went to starting his independent record label. He was set to meet with LAPD to figure out a way to help end gang-violence. He was creating a housing systems for the less fortunate. He also has an amazing clothing brand MARATHON, which is where he was shot dead in front of.
He's an investor, a father, a lover, a son, a friend. He understood that this life was short and you needed to maximize your time here on this planet. He was one of the best artists out there. His lyrics spoke truth. His interviews spoke life. His smile made you smile. His energy was infectious.
"You'e got to have faith in what you're doing and not take no for an answer" Nipsey Hussle
For me, it hit hard because we're around the same age. I understood what he was doing and the moves he was making. He was a man to respect and one who fed into those who wanted to listen and learn. He's always been one of my favorite artists and will remain as such. Not to mention the encounters we had and motivation he gave me to keep going will always stick with me.
Many speculate that his death was no coincidence. Seeing how he was working on a documentary about Dr.Sebi , a man who proclaimed to find the cure for HIV/AIDS. Others are tying that too the death of Lisa Left-Eye Lopez from TLC, who died in a car crash after speaking out about Dr.Sebi's discoveries. Let's not be sidetracked and fall into the trap of distraction. This case, is NOT the time for a conspiracy theory.
"I just believe in ownership.. I believe in investing in yourself.." Nipsey Hussle.
To be mourned by the Crips, Bloods, Cops, Political Figures and across the world means you're one bad mother f***er.
One thing that will always remain that NO ONE can erase is his legacy. Nipsey Hussle is an icon.
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